My poor little boy......needing advise...

[Bammony]

I just found out this morning that my 7 yo son doesn't eat all day long because he's being bullied at school. He gets breakfast and lunch at school usually but has been coming home lately literally begging for food. I didn't realize he was as hungry as he really was, so when he'd ask for food I'd tell him we'd be eating dinner soon. I found him two nights ago with a half eaten raw yam in his bed. He tried to hide it from me. My poor little man. He's been being bullied for some time and the school knows about it but can only do so much. He's made fun of for what he wears, the color of his skin (he's half Navajo), even what color his brand new shoes are, (red Converse). I love my little man and it breaks my heart to know that he's going all day not eating because of a bully. Any advise on what I can do at home to help him with bullies????

 

[Jennyhaschicks]

That's so sad. I'm sorry he is being bullied.
I would be on the phone calling the school asap. I would let them know what is going on and tell them something needs to be soon. My dd was being bullied a bit at school and when we had parent- teacher conferences dh brought it up to her teacher and she said it would be corrected soon. She had a talk with both my dd and the "bully" (privately) and it has gotten better. She told my dd anytime she is being bullied to come straight to her and she will take care of it.
Something needs to be done. It's the school's job to take care of our kids when they are there. If he is not eating and worrying that much then something needs to be done for him soon. Bullying him because of his race is ignorant and the teachers should be having a chat with their students.
I'm sorry for you both. I hope this problem can be corrected as much as it can be soon. I know kids are horribly mean.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I am so, so sorry.

As the mom of three boys my heart broke reading your story. Honestly, there isn't a lot you can do AT HOME to help....no amount of pep talks is going to keep a 7 y/o from hurting when being bullied. What I would do is be at that school every single day until it is stopped. Go higher and higher until you get results. They CAN make it stop but they won't if you don't MAKE them. Good luck. I am sorry your little boy is going through this.

 

[heyeddah]

I am sorry to hear.
In Ct there is a zero tolerence for bullying at school. If the quality of life or safety of another child.. yours here is being affected then the parties who are douing the bullying must be removed from school by suspension and then expulsion for repeated behavior.
You need to be your child's advocate. Go to the teacher first, then the principal then the superintendant of schools. Follow up with your parent groups and build a community that is bully free and a safe zone. Do not underestimate the dammage that is being done to your son. It needs to stop immediately. Pack his lunch if you can to solve the hunger problem or feed him when he gets home until the bigger problem can be set straigfht.
Do not let up on the school. It is their responsibility and your son's right to a full education.
Ask the principal if he ever heard of Columbine???
Good luck and keep us updated.
Feel free to email me if you need more encouragement. I believe in the children of our country.

 

[Bammony]

I found this out two minutes before his bus was supposed to pull up. I don't have a working vehicle right now because DH has the truck and my van is in the shop so I couldn't take him to school after I fed him (which is what I really wanted to do). I am court ordered to have him at school everyday on time,(or I'll be drug back into court for order to show cause) otherwise I would've kept him home and fed him. So, here he is running out to the bus this morning, hungry, with a chunk of cheese in his hand ( I didn't have time to give him anything else). I watched him get on the bus with tears in my eyes.
I feel so bad right now. My sister is a teacher at his school and I asked her this morning to make sure he gets some food. I feel really helpless.

 

[tabsmonsters]

My inner "momma bear" would be coming out to protect my "cub". I hated bullies when I was in school. I still can't tolerate them as an adult. I would be at the school or on the phone with them demanding they fix the problem. Is this a small school? If so, I can't see why they couldn't be more on top of this. I wish I had a better response for you. I would be so freaking furious over this that if it were me, I would have my DH come home ASAP with the car and I would get my butt to the school to demand the bullying to stop. GRRRRR, I am so sorry for your little boy and you as well. I really hope it gets fixed and fast. There is no reason your little boy shouldn't be able to eat at school.

 

[Chicken Salad]

I know that this is going to sound like THE cruelist thing....

Don't do anything.


I went through the same thing with my son. He wouldn't go to the bathroom all day because of bullies in there and he didn't want to go out for recess.

He's 25 now and a cop - so all's well that ends well...but of all the things about raising him, I would have changed how I handled it. I was the one in there carping at the school to do something. I went higher on up the chain and made myself a pain in everybody's patoot. My world started to revolve around it. I wish now I had let him learn the hard way to fight his own battles instead of making them my own. The battles don't end at age 7...far from it.

Like I said - I know it sounds awful but...it's what I have experienced. Now - when I say don't do anything...that doesn't mean you don't encourage your son and help him understand that others who feel worthless about themselves pick on others. It's not to say that you don't take a critical look at how he handles himself around other children (especially the boys) in an effort to notice how he may portray his own weakness or vulnerability. OR is he portraying your notion of his vulnerability????

Also, success in one area often begets success in others. Find something he loves and help him become the master of it.

Good luck with it. What a royal pain.

 

[gretchenhau]

Our schools do not tolerate bullying, I am grateful since my daughters are Chinese. We go talk to the teacher and the principal and are told to, so they can work it out. If they don't know, they can't fix it.

 

[HennysMom]

I'm so sorry, that just breaks my heart.

My first question is why is your son getting bullied about eating in the first place? That doesnt make much sense - and forgive me if it seems like I'm prying - I'm not meaning to, I'm just trying to get an understanding of this situation. Is your son on the school lunch program, is he overweight/underweight, is it just because of his ethnicity? It shouldnt matter WHAT the reason is - he shouldnt be getting picked on and bullied at all and the school / teacher should have noticed it and done something about it immediately and put a stop to it!

This BS about the school can only do so much is just that - BS - it is the schools responsibility to keep your child SAFE while in their care and safe means the right to attend school without FEAR! If that were my child and I'd approached the school more than once about him being bullied and they told me they "couldnt do anything else" I'd be up at the school board and then go higher - media, etc if I had to - until something was done to MY satisifaction and my child's satisfaction, period. Those kids that are bullying should be expelled or put in detetion at the very least! If your child is court ordered to be in school each day - then it is their responsibilty to ensure your child is SAFE - if not - then you need to drag that school to the court room with you in front of that judge - yes the ENTIRE SCHOOL SYSTEM including the kids and parents of those kids that are bullying your son - and tell the judge to deal with this issue, then you will bring your son back to school.

Things today are not like they were when WE were kids -and bullying when we were kids wasnt acceptable either, but kids today are SOO much crueler, so - yes, this needs to stop immediately. Look at the schools today - look at all the shootings on campuses due to bullying...thats all I think needs to be said on that subject. Bullying goes way beyond what we experienced as kids - enough is enough!

This is a very sore subject with me...obviously.

and prayers for you and your little man... I'm so very sorry this is happening to him. Shame on your school system and shame on those parents and kids!

 

[vicki2x2]

I would be furious. I would be on the phone with the principal and demand a meeting immediately with his teacher, principal, the school counselor and maybe the superintendent of schools. There should be zero tolerance for bullying and the fact that they know about it and your child is going hungry all day says they are not doing much about it and is ridiculous!! I would be calm, but very firm. Let them know they will take care of this or you will get a lawyer involved to make them take care of it and you will let the press know that your child's school does not care that your seven year old is so scared and bullied he can't eat all day! That should get their attention!!

I let a lot of things slide, but not this, this I would be all over! My youngest two children are asian, both adopted. One is very shy and one has special needs. The shy has been teased about his race, mainly his eyes and it hurts him deeply. The first time was within the first few weeks of kindergarten. I called the teacher, she was shocked at who it was, but promised it was be handled and would not happen again, and she took care of it. She was right, that child never said it again, but others have.

Unfortunately, to live in a diverse area around here means living in the city, we don't want to live in the city. I am trying to make my children proud of their heritage and we are getting there. My youngest had a stroke at age 3, she is now almost 5 and still has a significant limp. Kids ask her what is wrong with her or say stuff to her, she has such a strong personality, she just tells them, I had a stroke and off she goes. They have no idea what she is talking about, but she could care less! lol