Then dont have a debit card. Mine says debit, but I had the bank make it so it must only be an ATM card. Never use debit cards, ever. Convenience means trouble sometimes. JMO.
I took away all of my husbands credit and debit cards and cut them up. I kept 1 gas card and my debit card. That's it. I do the bills so I know what is coming and going out of here (right now more going that coming
) I give him $20 a week to do with what he pleases. It's amazing how they learn to save up for those things they really want!!
My husband had an allowance for the longest time. We stayed overdrawn, only it was checks instead of debit cards. Now we have debit cards, but ours cut you off if you try to get something over what you have in the bank. If you have him talk to the bank they might reduce or remove the extra charges. I have had mine do that before. They dropped the overdraft fees. I guess now that my dh has matured more (We married VERY young)he has learned to watch himself. Maybe it will just take yours learning the hard way like it did mine.
Only one spouse can have the debit card and they should be in charge of the account balance.
Otherwise it will never end. Over the years I did some financial counseling for folks in my church. Truly what I have suggested is the only way it usually will work.
DW has a credit card and I regularly check purchases online. I need to know where we are headed each week and then we discuss.
I have the debit card....otherwise, we would get into trouble. DW has been a trooper over the years and really helped us remove the huge mountain of debt that I was in when we got married.
If he is going to continue with the debit card, you will need to check the balance online at least daily.
In relationships there are two main causes in problems/breakups.
#1. Money (almost always #1)
#2. Sex
And if a man leaves a woman it is usually because of #2, and 90% of the time he's usually found it with someone else. I've never seen it any other way.
Mahonri, I do check balances every day, but it doesn't matter if all of sudden these charges appear that I didn't know about and there was no money to cover them.... Ken is very apologetic about his error. I am thinking it will be a long tiem before he even THINKS of using that card again, especially after the TV dinner he got that night.
Debi -- who do you bank with? I've had pretty good luck getting those charges reduced or altogether eliminated. I'm with B of A, and they'll usually write off your first mistake. Or they'll eliminate it if you promise to link your savings account to your checking account... so that if you overdraw your checking account, it takes money from your savings account. It's worth a try anyway. They charge WAY too much for overdrawing an account by a few dollars, and they know it, so they're a bit flexible.
I had the same thing happen, and I got really mad at my fiancee (we share an account). The problem was, neither of us was in charge of the account, so no one was watching closely enough. Also my fiancee is a NUT about putting away a little money to our savings account as soon as one of us gets paid... but that doesn't help you if you then have to pay $100 in charges because you overdrew your account does it!!!