I can't sleep and am browsing the forums late at night and found your thread.
Years ago I was bitten by a black widow spider and was completely incapacitated for a week, and sick for a while longer still. I had to crawl to feed my cats, but at night I don't think I had the strength to close the cat door and worried all week about them. They all knew to come inside and survived, thank goodness. But they were very vulnerable, and the stress of worrying for them but being so incredibly sick probably slowed my recovery.
And I lost a young hen last month. I can't say for sure, but my intuition tells me she reacted poorly to the freshly stained exterior walls of the coop. It was super hot, so I left the windows uncovered (just hardware cloth), which exposed the flock to the stain.
The stain is Hemp Shield. It's non-toxic and safe, but it does have an odor, and as someone who is chemically sensitive I would probably find it difficult sleeping near it during the first full day of it having been freshly applied. No time to cure yet.
Dune Buggy woke up the next morning with open beak breathing and gasping, which worsened, and I fear my lack experience in treating her may have led to her death. I still can't believe she's gone.
So in my own way I can relate to what it feels like to be responsible for the death of a dear animal friend.
I do hope you're feeling better, and I hope you find a doctor who respects you and treats you well and makes you feel welcome and appreciated.
