My sister died friday. I just need to talk

[Cetawin]

Melissa I am so so sorry for your loss and for the grieving you and your family are going through...but I wanted to say something to you that I hope may help you in some way...it is how I deal with such losses...regarding:

"Sometimes it just hits me again, she is gone for good. Never again will she call me, text me or hug me. Never again will I have a long talk with her, or hear her laughter. She was 51 years old, and now she is gone. I have to go back to work tomorrow, I hope I can do it. I'm not doing to well. Yesterday we had to clean out the stuff from the house she only ever got to stay in one night. It was so hard, realizing that's all that's left of her. Just stuff. now the "stuff" is in my living room. I know I took more then I should of... I just hated to see her things thrown away. They where hers! Just because they are not important to us, they where to her. The hardest was a black shirt that is two times to big for me, but it was the shirt she wore the time she came back from Colorado for Christmas. I just sat down on the floor holding it and cried. I took a pair of gloves she use to love, My mom said " those don't match your coat" I wanted to scream "I DON'T CARE! THE LAST HANDS IN THESE GLOVES WHERE HERS!" but I didn't I just said " I know" "

You are so wrong...she is not gone, she has transformed into something so beautiful that we are not allowed to see it with human eyes...her beautiful spirit. You will feel her hugs in each touch of the breeze...you will hear her voice and laughter in where it is most powerful...in your heart. She will never be far away and you have only to reach out and to speak to her...she will hear you.

Keeping a pair of gloves she wore is very important...it has a bit of her lingering within the fibers and the threads...hold them, wear them, feel close to her when you need that extra strength to get through the day while you heal. Let no one tell you when it is time to part with any of her things or what to part with. your heart will tell you what, when and if.

I am sending prayers on the winds to you and your family and may your healing begin soon.

 

[wolftracks]

I'm so sorry about your sister. I lost a sister to cancer June 11 2006. Lost another sister when I was 5. I lost a son years ago. This year I lost my mom in April, my dad in May and my awesome, wonderful husband on July 12th.

I'm right with you wanting this year to be over. It's been the worse year of my life.

I'd like to give you some words of wisdom, but I just don't have any at this point.

I can tell you though, that the people on this forum are great at being there for you when you need them. There are some very caring people here and don't know what I would have done without them.

I wanted to suggest going to legacy.com. They have help with grieving for different situations. There's a lot of help and information there, so when you feel like it maybe you can look around and see if there's something there that helps.

Kim

 

[HeatherLynn]

I cannot think of what to say to comfort you. I don't know that it ever really gets better. You might adjust but the loss is always there. We are praying for you and your family. I know everyone always says that God never gives you more than you can handle but I swear many times it feels like he does. I think this is one of those times. I pray he gives you a bit of extra peace and comfort so you all can get through this together.

As for the dog, try putting an ad on craigslist also for the dog. He is in a new area so hopefully you can get everyone to help you locate him.

 

[Turkeyrangler]

I read your OP and I know the pain your in right now. It brought back the memories of those that I've lost over the years and what we experience when they pass. Had to wipe away the tears a number of times as I read it. I lost two of my brothers in a very short time. One 18 months older and one 18 months younger than me. We were close. Ten years have pasted since then and what I remember now are the good times. The times we laughed until our sides hurt. The trouble we got in as kids. Hitch hiking on a dark road in the middle of the night and being afraid of the noises in the woods, but we were together and that was what mattered. Being stuck on a wilderness campsite for a stormy three days, but laughing our backsidees off around the campfire at night trying to stay warm. Those are a couple of my memories that will stay with me until I join them. They are not gone because I think of them most every day and now it makes me laugh to remember all the life we spent together.

 

[mylittlechickpea]

Your sister is beautiful.

 

[Luvroos]

I am so so so sorry to hear that you had to go through this, I have tears rolling down my face! My mother passed nearly 5 years ago at 64, much to young, they are in a better place and without any pain. I still miss her like it were yesterday and tear up when I think about her. I cannot listen to the music that she and I used to sing to anymore. God bless!

 

[Spookwriter]

My Dearest Lady...

To the outside world we all grow old.
But not to brothers and sisters.
We know each other as we always were.
We know each other's hearts.
We share private family jokes.
We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.

We live outside the touch of time....



Melissa,

I've long since forgotten who shared these words with me. For I once
stood where you're standing now. My sister's been gone ten years now.
Ten years.

And sometimes, it feels like only yesterday.

Our sisters are gone now...Diania, 51...my sister, Patricia, was only 45.
They weren't very old as years go. But in their time, they left us with memories
that will last us forever. And in that special room in our hearts, where we keep
our most cherished memories....Right there, Diania and Patty will live forever.
And they will never leave us.

I no longer dwell on her illness, her death. Still brings me heartache. But like the
words say, In my mind, my sister and I are forever young.

Yesterday was a pretty day here. For no particular reason at all I felt the need to
quit what I was doing and go visit her grave. It's not far from my home. Small family
cemetery, she's right next to our brother. That wasn't what I had planned for the day.
But about one o'clock it hit me like a bolt of lighting that I had to go visit them.

As others here have said...You don't get over a sister's passing. Days, weeks, months,
years...time will ease the pain. But you will love them forever.

And one of these days, when it stops hurting Mom enough, she says she wants to clean
out my sisters rooms. (Lived at home always) But for Mom...she isn't ready yet. And that's
fine. Someday we will. House is big enough that mom and dad don't need the rooms.

That's a beautiful picture of your sister. How happy she looks to me. Looks like she was in
the middle of a conversation, setting on the porch and just having a good time.

And that's what life is about Melissa.

Remembering the good times...

Spook.
........................................................

Melissa...I didn't mean to post such a long message. But to tell you that you aren't alone
as you grieve for your sister. Just whenever you feel the need, you just come back and
post anything on your mind.

We're here waiting on you when you need us.

 

[MysticScorpio82]

x 100 I am so sorry for you loss! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

 

[bossynbella]

Quote:
I keep thinking that too, When her husband passed it was like he sent little messages to us, letting us know he was there and safe. Maybe I am just not looking hard enough, but so far I can't find any. The night she died I stayed at my moms with my neice Mea ( my brothers daughter, but close enough in age she seems more like another sister) We just couldn't sleep ended up going to a 24hr walmart and just walking around. The next afternoon we stopped at my sister-in-laws on the way home, Everytime I would go into the bathroom, I couldn't look in the mirror, I felt like what I would see was her and not me. I still have that feeling somehow, I think its because we looked so much alike, everyone always called us twins that where 24 years apart. Even our emotions have always been so similar, yet her dealings with the world have been so much more positive then mine. She always saw the good in people, and worked to do only good things to others, I have always been selfish, and really have to work to be sure I am considering others feelings and not just my own.
Anyway thanks again for listening. I wanted to include the link to the memorial I set up for her online, in case anyone is interested in looking.
http://diania-baker-briggs.foreverm...hp?lst=1590&url=diania-baker-briggs&ajax=true
hopefully that works, if not as a link maybe you can copy paste it?
Thanks again,
Melissa

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I am so sorry.

I am glad for you both that you were there for her when she passed. I am so sorry for you that she did.