Well, I did copy it from the internet.....but holiday consumerism is terrible, IMO.Way to go aart, you made me get teary eyed. What a beautiful post!
It has warped us all, some more than others.
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Well, I did copy it from the internet.....but holiday consumerism is terrible, IMO.Way to go aart, you made me get teary eyed. What a beautiful post!
X2Well, I did copy it from the internet.....but holiday consumerism is terrible, IMO.
It has warped us all, some more than others.
Hmmmmm......
Requiring hugs in order to get a "prize" seems so wrong to me.
I personally would not treat him any different just because he did not give a hug.
Maybe he was having a bad day...
Maybe he needed a nap...
Maybe we should not read to much into it all.
I always hated being forced to hug relatives or others at gatherings. I have never been a "hugger". It didn't make me less of a person or an unkind person.....it just meant I don't like hugs.
Perhaps a better way to be "connected" to the young man is to participate one on one in a game or project like Legos or something he likes to do. It gives a lot of gentle teaching moments that don't feel like "teaching him a life lesson".
I totally agree with the hugging part. I am not a hugger and close contact with other people usually makes me feel very uncomfortable.
However (and this is the crux of the OP's post)...the kid later did this:
"I then proceeded to ask the ones that hugged me what they wanted for christmas and began to leave the room before my despondent nephew shouted "what about me?!" I said "well you didnt hug me so why should I get you a present?" Instead of giving his aunt a big ol hug he said "well my mom is gonna be mad at you if you dont get me anything. Shes going to hate you.""
THAT is the part that was disrespectful, manipulative and rude. This is the part that makes the kid look like a sociopathic brat. Plus, the OP later said this wasn't a little kid. He was at least 9 years old, which is old enough to be able to respect your elders. If he says things like this on a regular basis, I'd worry about him.
I think a book about manners and treating people with respect would be a good gift for him, as others have said in this thread.
Yes he ended up being disrespectful....but....at Christmas it is possible to scar a kid more than other times.
I feel it is better to build bridges than walls with kids.
I agree with you there, but how to build a bridge, without enabling bad behavior? I think that's the challenge. This is interesting to me (I almost chose psychology as a major). What is the best method to help the child, without enabling the poor behavior?
I told his parents about this. His dad laughed and his mother was shocked and angry.