need advice on a relationship problem,,, update 3-27-11

[hunterjumper999]

you dont have to leave. call the police and ask them. There are laws agaainst eviction without written notice.

do you get mail there? if so then most places you get at least 30 days.

 

[blueseal]

Quote:
thanks i do get mail here. i wll check into it.

 

[Kansaseq]

Does she usually kick you out after all the bills have been paid, at the beginning of the month? Then make up towards the end of the month when they are due again?

 

[hunterjumper999]

I'd stay put till you figure out the bills thing. Worst comes to worst you can always call and inform the police of the situation BEFORE she gets home so she can not call them and pull the 'he's being mean/abusive" to me card and have you removed tonight. I'd call them, inquire about the laws and inform them of the situation.

Is there another bedroom or office you can temp. move into in the house? If so pack what you need and be in that area when she gets home. Limit contact but know your state laws by 2pm!

 

[nivtup]

Get out as soon as possible.

Let the healing begin.


Wishing you the best of luck.

 

[Spookwriter]

You have put yourself into a no win situation.

Time to walk away, cut your loss.

Poor choices lead to poor results. But the sooner you leave,
the sooner you get to move on with your life. Chalk it up to
a expensive lesson learned.

Staying would only delay the inevitable.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Blueseal you may want to check the law inregards to common law marriage in Maine. Some states recognize it others don't not sure about Maine.
Call the police and ask them about the having to be out by 2 today. I believe in most if not all states you need to be given a notice whether it is 7 days or 30 days.
Oh and take the pilliow case who cares if they match her comforter tough cookies for her. Sounds to me like she was just using you to pay her bills.

 

[zippitydooda]

You are just a few years older than my son. My advice (as a mother) is to start planning. Separate your things and take them to a friend or family member's home. Call all the companies that you have been paying (mortgage, utilities, credit cards etc) and ask for the last 12 months records of payments. Then gather any receipts you may have (money orders, checks, etc) and take those to the same place your belongings are.

DO NOT fight over stuff. Simply walk away with your dignity and your health. Your heart may be broken, but it will not begin to heal until you are out of the toxic environment.

While you are in the planning stage set some cash aside for a deposit on an apartment (or housing where you can take your chickens) and for utilities. This should not take long once you STOP PAYING HER BILLS. While planning, search for a church. Start attending. You need emotional support and that is an excellent place to find it.

DO NOT get in another relationship yet. You need to have a healing period to recover from this abusive situation. You need to find out why you allowed her to treat you poorly. Once you know, you can keep it from happening again.

I will pray for you and your situation to improve. Hang in there. You will be whole again soon. Make 2011 the best year yet.
zippitydooda

 

[AngieChick]

I do see her point about the phone calls happening while you were together, cheating can also be emotional cheating, which to many if not most women is more painful than the other kind of cheating. Men and women tend to differ on that point. However, it sounds like the relationships problems run long and deep and the cheating is not the only issue by a long shot. At best she has some big emotional problems and an inability to communicate in a respectful way, at worst she's being mean and callous. You may need to face the fact that this relationship is not salvageable and that it's time to move on, this time permanently.

 

[kla37]

Quote:
X 2 best advice, follow it!