Need advice on something, don't know how to handle this...

[geoaware]

Ring the Jerry Springer show...see if they will take on your story. You will get paid money (so will your friend and brother) and the whole stupid affair can be aired for all the other fools to watch and cheer (or boo. You can even 'run out the back' when it becomes emotional (being followed by a camera of couse).

What a wonderful opportunity you have! Don't let this slip by.

(an alternative is to tell your brother and friend you love them...but this is over for you and to leave you out of it).

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

Tell her to grow up.

Sorry but OMG how childish for her to behave.
Also, I would not cut off relations with your brother. It isnt his fault the chick is CRAZY. If you have a good relationship with him Keep it. And dump the CRAZY friend.

 

[deb1]

Why is this woman your friend? It sounds like she has a screw loose.

I would ask her not to call anymore. Let the answering machine get her calls. You will feel much better not having this crazy person in your life.

Your brother has been honest with her, hasn't he? It sounds like he has told her that he doesn't want her or her kids.

I hate to say this but you might have to be harsh with your friend.

 

[Blackbird]

Wow, talk about crazy. I had a somewhat similar expirience;

My brother was CRAZY about this girl in highschool for about 4 years, and she hated his guts, but he would not let up, he always bugged her and her friends trying to get good feedback, all of which was actually negative. they spread various rumours about him trying to get him to let up. Now, my best friends was very good friends with this girl also, and they sat with each other at lunch. My brother then decides to tell him that I want him to call me, and tells me that he wants me to call him, amoungst other lies, and uses us to get info. So, when we would call eachother he would steal the phone and interrogate my friend about her, it got to be a very unhealthy obsession and he withdrawled into a worse depression. He would always bring her up, eventually everyone in my family would get after him telling him to get over her. He is over her now, luckily, thing is, the whole time she never actually told him face to face that she didn't like him. After a while he finally got over her.

I would explain to your friend about your brothers motives and that he does not want her children, it also sounds like your brother needs to tell her himself, that he does not like her, she needs to hear it from him. I like Jenn's idea too.

 

[asher]

Quote:
Yup! AND I don't/won't have people around my family like that (did she leave her husband AND kids or just her husband for your brother? Either way, still bad and not the morals of people that I want around my children.) so I would be cutting off ties. (Yes, even with the brother. Not saying this lightly as I have with my sister for similar moral (or lack thereof) issues.)

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Yup! AND I don't/won't have people around my family like that (did she leave her husband AND kids or just her husband for your brother? Either way, still bad and not the morals of people that I want around my children.) so I would be cutting off ties. (Yes, even with the brother. Not saying this lightly as I have with my sister for similar moral (or lack thereof) issues.)

Other then being honest and saying that he doesn't want kids, I am uncertain what the brother has done wrong in the situation. It isn't his fault that this woman is obsessed with him. Of course, I might have missed something that was said on the thread.

I do think that the brother should get some sort of restraining order against her. This might escalate. The woman sounds like she is living in a fantasy world.

I would just tell her that the brother is not and will never be interested in her. Don't bring up her kids. We don't want a Susan Smith type of event.

 

[asher]

Quote:
Ah, she said the woman was having a "weird thing" with her brother which I guess I assumed was a relationship.

My fault!

 

[chickiebaby]

I echo what Jennspeeps said, every word of it. I don't echo the "cut em out of your life" sentiment others have shared. That's not fair advice to give anyone else, even if you HAVE done it yourself.

You certainly have the right to tell them how you fell, and should do so, just as Jenn said, and for the sake of honesty and self-regard. And "having a weird thing" meant the same to me as it did to you, Asher, that the brother was involved with the friend. So it's no one's "fault" they're both behaving badly.

But cutting people out of your life is awfully harsh for people making stupid, weak, errors in life. And it can really come back on you. Maybe save that for major evildoers, not people reliving their foolish high school crushes and behaving generally badly.

Other than child molestation or rampant drug abuse with attendant violence, I can't think of too many situations where I feel I have the right to judge others. Leave that to the G-d of your choice, folks.

 

[sewchick]

Be upfront with her and your brother. Some people just need to have some boundary's set. Seems they don't get just showing up on your doorstep is RUDE. Tell her not to do that. You need your privacy. I had to tell one of my friends not to come without calling first. She no longer just shows up. It seems like a very odd thing to cheat on your husband with his permission. That is just wrong. I cannot wrap my mind around it. She seems selfish. Do you really need a friend like that? In my opinion you should dump her and give your brother a good talking to. He needs to be reminded your his sister not his guidance councilor or dating guru.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
Ah, she said the woman was having a "weird thing" with her brother which I guess I assumed was a relationship.

My fault!

no, no. I missed that they were in a relationship together. That was my fault. Sorry.