Need Kid Opinion - Being too Heavy Handed?

[horsejody]

Quote:
I agree. They get to work their butts off. If they get done, they can go. If not, they stay home and still clean. Too bad. Too sad. Even if they redeem themselves and make up their chores, grounding after the dance. It's their choice and their problem.

 

[AngieChick]

I would make them do a certain number of chores before the dance (if it's on Friday) and then the expectation would be that they are my slave labor over the weekend. They would have chores above and beyond what they had before. You should make it clear to them that they were quite mean to take advantage of your illness like that and leave everything for you to take care of.

My DH had the bad habit of telling me that I need to rest when I am ill, but then doesn't fulfill his own chores (or make the kids do theirs) let alone my own. He's a sweetheart, but he didn't realize what he was doing. After a heart to heart about it, and my making out detailed lists of what needs done when I am seriously ill, it's been much better. I'd say it's time to have a heart to heart with those girls, tinged with some bossiness. When they are adults and want to maintain solid relationships, they are going to have to be compassionate and empathetic to their loved ones' needs, it's part of having a partnership. This situation is a major teachable moment for them.

Plus - you shouldn't have to put up with that, it's bull pooey.

 

[Boyd]

the other reason I am asking is because I figure homecoming dance is much more important to the girls than it was to the guys... and being a guy more often than not I ended up going with my friend steph or bekka. The years they didn't have dates I would be their fill in



PS, the dance is tomorrow night!!!!!

 

[sandyj]

Sounds good to me, but be sure they get it done before the dance!!! Let them be alittle scared that they will miss it if their chores are completely done.
sandyj

 

[australorpchick]

What debiraymond says!

 

[Boyd]

see, the thing that chaps my buttocks is that if everyone does their chores everyday, then it takes about 20 minutes a day to tidy and do what is needed. The exception is kitchen duty. But then again, that only happens every five weeks by the rotation. And once they move out on their own? They get to do it ALL

 

[Olive Hill]

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And so do you.

 

[Boyd]

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And so do you.

I'll have a household of kids for a loooooooooooooooong time

I take in foster kids. Teenagers, so every few years I get a new bunch. My parents are well, much older than me and they are still doing it...... so If I can do it for another 30 years or so... I'll have a small part of my redemption paid for.

 

[saddina]

Quote:
Cinderlla rules here man, they have to scrub the house before the ball. Anyone caught not doing thier fair share can't leave untill thry're done, if the dance has begun and they're still cleaning, oh well, maybe they can catch the second half.

 

[calicokat]

If you let them go without doing the chores first, they know they can make you cave. If the dance isn't until Saturday night, they have plenty of time to do the chores tonight. So the ruling here would be - Get your chores done or no dance. And I don't mean sorta done, or mostly done either -- I mean done the way it's expected!

The next toughy will be what to do when 2 or 3 get them done, but one doesn't -- here, that one would be staying home, and that's a reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyyy tough one on ole' mom to enforce

I learned by bending the rules a couple of times already that it really sets everyone up for failure down the road. My mom always said - "If you don't want them to do it all the time, don't let them by with it the first time", and I'm afraid she was right (again

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