Need some advice and suggestions - Kids sleep over!

[Bec]

Ok, I will paint the picture a bit.

A friend of mine of 17 years (not too close with her) - has 1 daughter from a previous marriage, divorced 6 years ago- presently dating My husbands cousin for 5 years- daughter is 9 years old (quite snooty and rude) - DH's cousin ok, but not nice to the daughter, very bossy toward kids...yells at her a lot - "friend" yells a lot and overly strict with daughter. For example, if eating dinner, not allowed to talk at all and if she drinks all her tea/juice is NOT allowed any more. Basically treats her like she is on boot camp even if she is being good and behaving. Both friend and DH's cousin live in HER parents basement (mind you , they are 30 and 36 years old, he owns a house but doesn't want to pay bills so he rents it out)


So, now that you kind of know how it is, my friend emailed asking if she could "borrow" my kids for a sleep over. I really feel strongly about them NOT going over there. I don't want them treating my kids the way they treat theirs. My kids are well behaved kids with great manners. I am worried that if I tell them exactly why I don't want them going over there, there will be a big stink and being that I see them at every family gathering, I don't want any awkwardness. DH's parents basically raised his cousin because the cousin lost both of his parents when he was young. So the cousin is very close with DH's family, we really don't want to start problems, but both feel string that we don't want our kids sleeping over in her parents basement!

What can I tell her without starting a big thing?

 

[phaethona]

maybe just that you don't think it's a good idea(without going into exactly why)? or suggest that it'd be easier/better to have the sleepover at your house instead, it'd be less crowded that way.
my kids have friends who are welcome to come over whenever they want, but I dont trust the home situation enough to let them go stay overnight, so I know it's tough. just stick with your intuition and be as positive as you can and I'm sure you'll work something out.

 

[Bec]

I was kind of thinking that too. Maybe suggesting her come here for a sleep over. Last time we had her over for a sleep over last summer, she stole my daughters toy horses and tiny little horse blankets I hand made for them. She says she didn't take them and her mom says she doesn't have them but my daughter said she saw her put them in her night bag. When my daughter told me, I asked her if she had accidentally put them in and she looked and said yes...took 1 horse out and put it back. So I didn't think anything of it, just thought maybe it was a mix up. The next day we looked everywhere for the little mini donkey, mini pinto horse and their blankets..they were never to be found again.

I just don't know what to do. She keep calling my house phone and cell phone..I am going to have to talk to her.....I can't keep avoiding it!

 

[redhen]

Just say that the kids feel funny sleeping over other peoples houses right now...
I dont know.. you're in a tough one...lol

 

[debilorrah]

You can simply say no. Or you can lie and tell her they are grounded and not allowed to go anywhere for a month.

 

[krcote]

oooooooooooo! Good one!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Been there done that. Sometimes fibbing to save someone elses feelings is justified, in my eyes anyways. Probably wrong, but hey.

 

[gettinaclue]

I have to say, in this situation I would totally say my kids were grounded.

 

[Bec]

Welll...they did accidentally let the horses out the other day and my mini ran away! I wasn't mad at them but it is the truth

This is quite a pickle I am in....

 

[Hennyhandler]

You could say they have a hard time sleeping over at other people's houses and that they get homesick and uncomfortable when doing so. Then again the grounding one is always a good one.