Need some personal help here...

[CathyB]

Hope everything is working out today Bec!

 

[Bec]

..

 

[seismic wonder2]

(man point of view)

Not saying anything just means he has nothing to say (most of the time) So don't get upset about it.

I can go for days without saying much more than a grunt and a nod.

If you catch him staring into space, deep in "thought" and you ask him what he's thinking and he says "nothing" believe it. Sometimes we zone out for a while. Sort of "go off line" so to speak. we're not plotting to take over the world, just taking a mental vacation.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
I agree with this - but then the person who posted after this made sense too.

Here's what's difficult about it all (never mind extended family!!!):
1. Hubby comes first.
2. Hubby is also a grownup who should be able to understand and compromise.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you.

 

[Lunachick]

First - everyone had great advice, I guess you have to see what happens in a few days and go from there.

My first feeling was you have to live with hubby, and if you go - would he be really that mad at you? If so, is it worth it?

Then I thought maybe you need to get away for a few days and enjoy your family visit, but then, when you get home - would he still be angry with you?

Yikes - I didn't help much, I'm a wuss, I probably would stay home with grouchy.

Good luck.

 

[wegotchickens]

Maybe hubby doesn't want to be home alone taking care of the kids while you're gone? And the critters... And the house...

Maybe he isn't mad about Vegas. Maybe he's scared about you being gone and can't admit it.

 

[ozark hen]

Quote:
I completely agree, after all you live with your husband and not your mother.

 

[tink]

As a mother of two married sons myself, she will get over it. When we were going through the weddings, 2 in 9 months...there were things that made me mad. But I got over it. I would concentrate on your hubby. He is your family now. You two need to make decisions together now. If he is not comfortable with you going, I wouldn't go.
Unless you could save up some money and make it a little vacation for your family...that would be fun!
Good luck.....
tink

 

[jhill1440]

My wife and I have our understanding.

Spouse first-You are going to live a long time with that person.
Kids second-Yes sometimes they come first but they are not going to live with you forever.
Everyone else stand in line.

Get it worked out with your DH and then settle things with your family/mom. Don't blame your DH in front of you family/mom because you do not want them mad at him forever.

My 2 cents

peace
josh

 

[yotetrapper]

<<With that said, I think it is wrong of your mother to offer to pay for just your way to go to the wedding and not your husband's. If it is an issue of she can just afford one ticket, then she should have not offered anything at all, knowing just offering to pay your way would cause trouble between you and your husband>>

Agree 100%. And after you told her you weren't going, and she gave you the ultimatum that they would all be mad at your hubby if you didnt go, that would of cinched it for me!! emotional black mail!

My advice is if you can't all go as a family, DON'T GO!

I couldnt even imagaine considering jaunting off to the key west without my husband!! No wonder he's mad!!

I would call your mother back, and tell her you truly appreciate her offer, but that you've decided that if the family can't all go, you wont be going.

As others have said, your husband MUST come first. People putting their own wishes and desires above those of their spouses are the reason divorce rates are so high nowadays.

Your husband may just be mad for a few days or a week, or this may be the beginning of the end of your marriage if you go.

If my husband ever did to me what you are proposing to do to him, it would be reallllly hard for me to forgive that!!

Think long and hard before you go on your little vacation!