Crap Sunny, we just have more and more in common.
I knew what was coming when I read the isolation comment. This is also the MO for men who kill their families, yet the courts in general stink when it comes to help.
I'm going to give you some attorney advice and trust me I know what I'm talking about. Get a FEMALE attorney. Not kidding. I had one and everyone I ever gave advice to did the same and are happy they did. Unfortunately I gave that advice to my youngest son's dad before my son was even thought of. My mistake. Plus he was a charmer. Even the mediator was taken. My husband told me he was sorry I fell for all his garbage too, but he seemed to be good at it.
I had to leave court once while my 3 middles kids' dad was held back by the bailiff because he went nuts in court. Although I did get the kids in the first 5 minutes (he got liberal visitation??) we spent 5 hours in court fighting over the only TV and VCR. He had a huge list of everything in the house he said was his. I worked the whole time. He worked 6 months in 15 years. Couldn't stop being high enough to work. Plus I thought I was garbage. Finally the judge says "there's a lot of expensive things on this list. Is there anything else you want?" He piped in "she's getting the refrigerator, washer and dryer." The whole courtroom cracked up. I looked at the judge and said " he can have it all, all I want is him gone." Then when the judge said since I got the kids I could have what I asked for since it was for the kids, he threw a fit and even the men in the court room stood up and cheered. Not kidding. He turned around and glared and everyone laughed. That room was packed. They had to bring it to order and then get me and my 2 friends out so he couldn't attack me. Lowlife!
I couldn't find anyone to help me except for them wanting to send me and the kids to a shelter. I took off one weekend and he sold or gave away most of what I owned. The rest he destroyed. They keep you so down you don't know up. When kids are around, you're scared to death to try to run. They run you down till you feel like you're less than nothing. All I ever got from my mom was how stupid I was, but when I asked her for help, she told me it was my problem. It was, I just needed so backup. That barely came at the end of the nightmare. Oh and then once I got him out of the house, his friends came by to tell me what a stupid person I was. Asking me how I was going to make it on my own. I told them much better than having a scum leach sucking me dry.
Stick by her, but do it gently. Some of us go through felling so aweful that we think the people helping are attacking and that's worse than anything the lowlife can do to us. After all, they still want us around even though they've made it clear we aren't worthy.