New problems, need to vent

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Alleyoops25, Jul 25, 2007.

  1. Alleyoops25

    Alleyoops25 Songster

    May 14, 2007
    I know you guys probably are getting tired of my complaining. But I am having the worst month I think I ever had. I have told you guys about being diagnosed with a bone disease, and having a crap load of stuff going on at the county fair. Yesterday we took my daughters chickens down to it and I was hanging out in the poultry barn. All of a sudden my 14 yr old nephew came to me and told me that his Dad ( my brother) was abusing him. He took his hat off and showed me a black eye. He then lifted his shirt to reveal a huge bruise on his ribs. He told me that this al happend because he and one of his dads girl friends nephews went for a walk and couldnt hear his dad calling him. When he did hear him he ran back as fast as he could. His dad was totally furious. They got in the car to head to the fair, and his dad turned around in the passenger seat and moved in a away that made him think he was going to get hit. Out of defense he put up his arms to block his face. His dad took this as my nephew wanting to fight him. So his Dad pulled the car over and they forced him out of the car and were trying to make him fight with his dad. He refused to throw a punch at his dad and after a little while he gave up and they got back in the car and went a couple more miles when my brother decided he nedd to be punished for not hearing him call. So they pulled the car over agian and forced him to get out of the car and bend over and grab a fence post. HE took out one of those pig wips used for herding pigs, and started whaling on him as hard as he could. My nephew said that this went on until he finally collapsed onto the ground. His dad then sat down on him srattling him and started strangling him. He said his dad had one hand around his throat and the other in a fist and he was screaming "Do you want me to drop it?" My nephew couldnt talk and started to loose conciuoisness. he dad ripped him up off of the ground and started kicking him all the wat back to the car. He kicked him in the back really hard and sent him flying into the open car door and gave him the black eye. He told me that his dad was planning on punishing him like this everyday. HE said for every minute his dad ws calling he would be punished for a day so say 7 minutes he was calling he would been brutalized like this for 7 days.
    He was supposed be with me when he was there his dad was at work and his dads girl friend had brought them to the fair. She told him not to tell anyon eabout this and to stay awya from me. He told me he hadnt eaten in a couple days either. So I took him to a concession stand and got him some food then I took him up stairs into the offices, so that he wouldnt get found. He called the police and we told them what was going on they took him to the police station for observation, and we followed. When we got thier. My mom was there and my brothers girl friend was with. My mom had been fed full of lies about what was going on and was mad at me for helping my nephew to do this. She said that she would fight custody for him and I told her that was up to them to decide. They took me my DH and kids into a cofrence room away from them. We waited their for abotu an hour when a guy from social services came in and told us they stripped my nephew down and found bruises all ove his rear end and all the way down his legs. THey were going to go and arrest my brother, and they wanted to give us temporary custody of him until they set a court date. When they would work out us having full custody of him and his sister. We were getting ready to leave and were going to be taken out with a officer when they figured out my brother had shown up at the srtation. So we had to go back inside of a room and hide out while they arrested him. Then they took us out the back of the building to avoid any one seeing us leave. When we got home I parked our car at our nieghbors house where it wouldnt be seen. He has been here and is trying to get everyone to let him stay with me. They not only arrested my brother. But they arrested his girl friend as well. Some how we just found out they got bailed out of jail. I am thinking my mother is the one who dod it. The police and social services is looking for my niece and cant get anyone to tell them where she is. Every door in my house is locked, and our guns are loaded if he comes here and breaks in to the house he is going back out of it in a body bag. :thun I am soOOO mad about what has happend to him. And this will be the second time he has been charged with child abuse. He also has been charged with animal abuse, a bunch of domestic abuse, and DUI's. I cant belive they let him out today. :thun And what makes me even more mad is that my mom is protecting my brother. She dinies that he is violent. She protected him last time and she will do the same this time. When I was young and he would pound on me like he does his ,kids now. She would always tell me that it was my fualt , or anyone elses fualt but his. I know that me not turning my back on him is going to make me become dis owned by my family. But I can deal with it, I know what I did was right. I know and believe my nephew when he told me his dad tried to kill him and promised to if he ever tried to get help. If my mom wants to denie the truth and call her grand son a liar. And fight to keep him out of jail and get his kids back she is just as bad as he is, and I dont want a thing to do with her. My family has ignored this for far to long. And it is time he gets stopped, before he kills someone. I feel really good about what I have done and even though I really cant afford two more kids,,( I have 3) or have enough bed rooms I am going to fight hard to keep them. I dont want them to go to a foster home woth total strangers, and I dont want them to go to my mom and dad, or others members of my family. Most of them are either like my mom are to scared of my brother, or just dont care enough about these kids to make a effort to try to help. By God this Aunt aint going to stand down and allow the beating's continue while I look the only way. From now on its going to be my brothr taking the beating's. I am not going to stop the fight until I know he has gotten what he desrves and I have the kids safe here with me. I just hope they find my niece really soon. She is in some serious danger and I want her here and want it now. Any way if you all want I will keep you all posted. I want all of you to pray for my niece and nephew, and that they can finally be safe and protected from harm. Thanks
  2. rosyposyosy

    rosyposyosy Songster

    Jul 11, 2007
    omg! that is terrible!! your poor nephew... I AM SO SO SORRY! i really hope that things get better... you have no idea where your neice is? oh my gosh. i really hope things get better, with your disease, with your brother, with the kids... i am so terribly sorry best wishes.
  3. jenichick

    jenichick Songster

    Jun 1, 2007
    God Bless You for doing the right thing. Isn't it strange sometimes how the right road seems the hardest. No one should tolerate child abuse and distancing yourself from those who are abusive is usually the best answer. Trust me! Hang in there!
  4. Zenbirder

    Zenbirder Songster

    May 3, 2007
    New Mexico
    Thank-you for stepping up. Believe in what you are doing, it is so important to get kids out of a situation like this. Get a restraining order right away, he will probably violate it and you can get him locked up again.
  5. Frozen Feathers

    Frozen Feathers Songster

    May 4, 2007
    You are doing the right thing and thank you for stepping up! It can be hard to deal with family, but thank goodness your nephew was brave enough to say something. Some children suffer their whole lives because they are too fearful to tell an adult. I do hope the authorities find you niece very soon and your brother gets what's coming to him! :mad:
  6. WindyOaksYokes

    WindyOaksYokes Songster

    Jul 17, 2007
    Central Virginia
    Hun, I am so sorry!!! I can understand where you are coming from!!! If you would like some advice I will be more than happy to provide you with information that may be of use. I am currently in college for my Administration of Justice degree, which I only have 3 more classes to take and I graduate... (yeah me lol).
    I am so proud of you for doing the right thing!!! As for your mother and family disowning you... do you need them? I have been able to handle my family disowning me for the past 10+ years. It does get hard at times, and I will be honest occasionally I do talk to my mother BUT, very short conversations. She is however coming around to understanding what I did and why I did it (that story later).
    Do they have a APB out on your niece? Have they searched your mothers residence or anyone elses for that matter?

    Let me know if you would like some advice, I will tell you what I know. Also, you said you can not afford it? You don't have to!!! THE STATE or COUNTY has to provide you with the proper funds to raise these two children.

    BE CAREFUL and I am here if you need me!!!!
  7. justusnak

    justusnak Flock Mistress

    Feb 28, 2007
    South Eastern Indiana
    Alley, I am so very sorry you are going through this all. I know this may sound like a small detail...but everything happens to each and every one of us for a reason. The reason might not seem right...or fair...but the outcome will always surprise you. I am SO VERY glad you have that poor child. How old is the niece?? I pray her dad did not find her first. That poor child. God is with her...and so are her Angels. PLEASE keep us updated. Be strong...these kids need you. If you ever need a shoulder...E Mail me. Im here for ya!!
  8. mom'sfolly

    mom'sfolly Crowing

    Feb 15, 2007
    Austin area, Texas
    Wow! You stay strong. You're doing exactly the right thing. Standing up to your mom and supporting your nephew is fantastic. Even as an adult it is hard to have mom and dad disapprove of you. You and your nephew are very brave. He is so lucky he had you to go to. The poor kid. I hope your niece can get to you or another safe person. I'm sorry the sky seems to be falling in on you lately. Get the restraining order and keep the doors locked, it will give you one more thing to use against your brother. If your mom or any other family member has keys to your home you might consider getting the locks changed. We're all proud of you!

  9. CtlisencedArborist

    CtlisencedArborist Songster

    Jul 20, 2007
    Can you say DCVF?
  10. LynnGrigg

    LynnGrigg Songster

    Jun 6, 2007
    Winston Salem, NC
    There is no reason to do that much damage to a child that age. Thanks for stepping up. I can honestly say that I wouldn't bail one of my children out if they were abusing my grandchildren. I wouldn't let my brothers abuse their kids(or their wives) and I've had a notion to call social services on one of them(a brother) in the past but his abuse is emotional and not physical. My family has indicated to him that he has a problem and he has made amendments to his way of handling his daughter's misbehaviour. He doesn't beat her. Unfortunately my sister in law - his wife - is... dysfunctional as far as child rearing(and life in general) and he bears the brunt of the burden there. Anyway, children can't always stand up for themselves and often will not because regardless of how their parents treat them, they are afraid, more afraid of losing a parent more often than pain or death itself. Often they will hide any signs of physical abuse. Hopefully you and the other family members can pitch in so the kids can be surrounded by loving family...they'll maybe learn the values of family love and support rather than suffer the stigma of this experience and repeat abuse themselves. My prayers are with you. Find your peace and direction in God. One of the members here quotes C.S. Lewis... and I can't remember it verbatim-but I think it is something like this...I believe in God as much as I believe in the rising sun - not because I can see it because it allows me to see everything.-something like that. The more you peer into the true beautiful workings of life- the more you see God and the more you understand what your moral path should be. True freedom is assuming moral responsibility.

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