Here are two moments that had an influence on my life but might not be spiritual. Although they did influence my spirituality later in life, if that makes any sense.
One was when I was 17 or 18, I had a cousin who I thought highly of, who I found was homosexual. Because I had been brought up to view homosexuality as bad and sinful, I was disturbed by her sexual orientation, but I liked her as a friend. So I began to pepper her with questions, some rude and some of a personal nature. She answered every single question politely and with grace. Then when I asked her why she was a lesbian she told me very sincerly that she couldn't help being gay, it was just what she was. This was in the eighties.
Of course, it wasn't a spiritual moment in the sense that I suddenly saw the light of God. LOL
But years later, when I would sit in a church and hear negative sermons, I would think about my cousin and what she told me. For years, I am afraid that I did mental gymnastics around certain biblical verses in order to make them seem less harsh in my own eyes. Her answers had a long term effect on my future spirituality and why I walked away from my former religion.
The second influence is difficult to explain. My father died in Vietnam when I was a baby. My mother decided to hate all Asians, not simply Vietnamese-which would have been bad enough- but every single Asian person. For some reason, I was born being repulsed by prejudice. I never absorbed my mother's hate. I sought out anyone that my mother hated and tried to befriend them just to prove to myself that I was nothing like my mom.
I was 12 and I had a friend that was obviously a new immigrant from another country-I have no idea which one. Although I couldn't bring her to my home, I enjoyed talking to her. One day, I saw her gathering flowers from a bush. I think that it was wild roses of some sort. She asked me to help her so I gladly started pulling off flowers and handing them to her. Finally, I asked what she needed so many for.
I have seen people in church get a quiet type of happiness when they talk about how much God means to them, she had the exact same sort of glow.
Please understand, I was brought up a nominal Southern Baptist but I had attended enough summer bible schools to know that idols were a big no no.
So imagine how my brain came to a screeching halt when she announced that she was setting them before a statue of Buddha. First, I was not supposed to befriend anyone Asian and second, I had just discovered that I had picked a bunch of flowers for an idol. But something clicked in my head and I suddenly realized that she and I were in touch with the same deity.
I could have handed her the flowers and let her walk home alone. That is what she expected. But for some reason, I felt a need to help her carry the flowers back to her house. I can't explain why.
Of course, I couldn't go home and say, "Mom, I discovered something new about God, he is bigger then I thought. " She would have flipped out.
But over the years, the one incident has made me unable to accept that God exists in one faith or one religion. I just never believed that God sent nonChristians to eternal torture.
Of course, there have been other moments but those had a long term effect on my relationship with God.
