oppinions needed on a sad and graghic question

[Southernbelle]

I would let her know when it's going to happen, so she has the opportunity to say good-bye in whatever way she feels best.

I would not want her to be there for the euthanasia. I'd rather my kids keep the memories of the horse being alive because euthanasia can be somewhat ugly for such a large animal.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now.

 

[yotetrapper]

She needs to have the choice to be there if she wishes to be. If someone denied me that choice, I doubt I would ever forgive it.

 

[bkreugar]

Well I thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Do you think at 12 she will even be ABLE to handle this? My dearest closest horse friend says she doesn;t even stand with hers anymore.She has a deal with her best friend and they stand for each others.

I thought if I told her it is happening on XX day, she would say goodbye before she left for school.But her trainer says that she will be a mess that day.Same trainer says she doesn;t thnk she should be there.


I am sure she would be mad if she came home and it was just done.My dh says THIS is the way to do it.But ~I ~ would be livid if this was done to me. The whole thing is just awful.As aweful as it is it is MUCH worse having to think about dd's feelings.

After we signed the contract I TOLD dd ot was written in to have them bury her and she said "it will be at the end right"? She is putting it off as long as possible.DH was mad that I even TOLD her they were going to bury her.I know it is hard to make her grow up somewhat, but I am SOOO torn as what the right thing to do IS.


AND I am soo MAD that I just didn;t do it that day when she collapsed!!MAD at the vet! But hadn;t got my ducks lined up either.Thanks for sharing!!

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

At 12 I think she is more than capable of handling this. It's something that I think all children should be exposed to because essentially, it is life. Of course that never makes it easier to lose someone, whether pet or human, but she'll have a better understanding the next time it happens.

At around 6 or 7 I lost my first pet hamster. After that I lost another hamster, a ferret, a parakeet, our first dog, my horse, etc. Almost all of these (Except for my horse) happened before I was 12. I was upset for several days afterwards, but then I realized the animal was in a better place.

 

[bkreugar]

Mrs. Green Thumbs :

IMHO as a pet owner that has had to make that sacrifice is to explain to her that this is something your DD should do for her friend. It's a sacrifice that must be given to spare the poor horse unnecessary pain and suffering. It's also a part of life, and part of being a responsible owner and that it is NOT something you WANT to do but something you owe to your old friend. If she still can not understand then let her know it is going to happen do NOT just do it behind her back. That will make her feel like she was excluded BECAUSE she disagreed. Personally if she were my daughter Id let her comfort her horse as she was let go. It's not just comfort for the horse but a way for your DD to say good bye to a long time friend. Some day she will understand if she can't now. I'm sorry this has to be so hard on your family. I'm proud of you for doing the right thing by your friend.

THANK YOU THIS is helpful!​

 

[bkreugar]

Quote:
THIS is accross the board what all my Horse friends tell me!

 

[bkreugar]

So I guess the bottom line is I have to tell her we ARE doing on XX and then honor her wishes after I tell her what they will do.Mare has always needed less than normal for sedation, so a normal dose of Rompin for sedation will really have her under.

She gets upset every time we talk about this (like I am just okay with it), but she has a WALL of ribbons she won with this mare and I tell her, THIS sadly is the price for a long , happy partnership.THAT has always been my philosophy.

 

[EweSheep]

I think I would have let my DD be there at the rainbow.....at least she can say her goodbyes.

Be prepared to tell her what will happen and what can go wrong when they put the horse down and how uncermonically the horse would be "dumped" into the grave by a backhoe if she chooses to be there when the horse is being buried. It is not a pleasant sight or sound hearing a horse into the ground so I would suggest to you to use your best judgement in that burial part.

It is part of the natural life and death cycle of all living things and it would help your DD. I would not shield her from having the horse put down, it would really harbor bad feelings. I know I would!

 

[Jess N Jeff]

I was 9 when my first kitten was hit by a car. He was injured but not killed. My dad ran to pick me up from school early and told me what happened. Kitty was at home and made as comfortable as possible until I got home and had a chance to say goodbye before my dad took him to the vet to possibly be put down.

This kitty was the most important thing in my life at that point. I will forever be greatfull to my dad for allowing me the chance to kiss my precious kitty just one more time.

Please give your daughter the option to at least kiss and love the horse before you let it pass on. Emotions will run high and the pain will seem unbearable in that moment, but she will thank you when she grows up because you valued the love she has for the horse.

 

[rancher hicks]

Have a talk with your family doctor to see if he/she thinks your DD is mature enough to be there. Gvie her time to say goodbye. Have the vet explain to your DD why this needs to be done. If you are christians show your DD the book of Revelations and how Jesus will return on a White horse, proving there will be horses in heaven.

Todays 12 yr. olds a more advanced than I was at 12. Dont' waste time trying to reason with her. Except any nonsensical things she says afterward. Let her have her own feeings. Let her grieve. If she wants to sleep w/ the blanket, have the halter hanging in her room, let her. Of course everything has to be her idea. Whatever makes her feel better even if it seems foolish to you and others. If other family makes foolish comments let her know you disagree with them and she is fine. Reassure her that you love her.

All the best

Rancher