Parents who have full access to their kid's Facebook account?

[Chickangel79]

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As you are paying for it its your choice, my 11 year old has a phone and she pays for it herself, I wouldn't dream of searching through it unless I suspected she was in trouble and even then I would ask first. I do not have access to her Facebook but know she would give me the password if asked.
There are funny people on the internet, but also there are worse ones in real life. You can't shield them from everyone. I trust my children and we have discussed what can happen if she gives out personal info. It's also a lot about teaching your children common sense.

I agree with the concept of teaching ones child personal responsibility, but people on Facebook ARE people in real life. Yes, you need to teach them to deal with real life, and not completely shield them from it, but that is not at all the same as giving them limitless privacy and no real boundaries. You are abdicating your responsibility as a parent if you confuse the right of privacy of an adult with that of a dependant minor. Telling them something does not necessarily equate with them learning it and actually agreeing with it.

Please don't get me wrong, mine do not have limitless privacy or no boundaries, they have rules and punishments like anyone else, the people on her Facebook are people she knows and talks to, she does not interact with just anyone. Her profile is blocked from people finding her, she finds her friends from school to add. If any of my children misbehave they lose the right to use any pc in the house for a set period of time or until a lesson is learned. I just don't feel the need to go through her Facebook messages, texts or phone log. I can see her wall and everything she posts.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

Well, let's see, this is the type of discipline and expectations and consequences that my parents (the "Greatest Generation") grew up with. True, they did not have much technology (if I recall the story, someone a street over had the first phone in the neighborhood, and it was a party line), but there were plenty of other opportunities for getting in trouble or making bad choices.

Quite frankly, I am more concerned about the social skills of this generation who rely on texting and email more than on face to face or even telephone conversation.

 

[bullyforme]

IMHO:

Those who are restricting their kids from social media are only shooting themselves in their foot (IMHO). You're missing out on a great opportunity to communicate with your kids and many valuable social and learning opportunities. Facebook is a huge social boon. Kids who may not have great social skills can more easily develop them with a little help from these great social networking tools. It's a chance for them to connect with more children in their neighborhoods & schools. To completely deny a teenager this outlet is denying them the opportunity to be a part of this huge innovation in our globalized future. Anyway, your kids probably do or will soon have facebook accounts without your knowledge. They will create them at their friends houses, the library, school computer lab, you name it. They will find a way. This isn't the same world we grew up in. Your kids will need to know how to text and network when they are adults. Don't deny them the opportunity to learn how! Also, don't be afraid that they will lose all ability to communicate face-to-face. Texting and networking are just additions to our lives, not replacements.

Those who have their kids' passwords, I wouldn't trust that alone to keep your kids safe. You may have the passwords to their dummy accounts.

The best thing of all is to teach them common sense and safety, be aware of their posts (you can check their facebook pages daily without being a stalker). I glance at my son's facebook page daily and I'm glad I do, as one of his school friends called his teacher a "pedo" - just braggadocio, but potentially devastating for this teacher - and I had my son delete the comment and block the friend.

Side note: I'm also very curious as to one poster's comment - how does an 11 year old pay for their own phone?

 

[StrayMagnet]

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My answer to this

I DO NOT allow any of my kids access to the internet, UNLESS it's school related

my reasons? The internet is a scary place. my son asked me "why do you sit on it all the time" i told him Simpley Beacuse I pay the bill, and I'm already Old and dumb and I know how to access info WITHOUT The internet. The problem is that teens and kids are not taught how to look up stuff the hard way.. GO to the library and look up the info in a actual book. I did not have the Luxury of internet when I was in school. and I graduated in 96. we had no pc. If i wanted to look something up I had to walk to the library and look it up there or look it up in a book

we depend on Pc's way to much. and that is sad. kids and some adults spend so much time online and not outside, that is my other reason. I know my kids. and When I do allow them to mabey play a game like on pogo.com (on my account) I have a hard time getting them off.. same with the game systems. I say 30 mins. I dont want to hear crying and complaing after 30 mins.. I could care less if you are doing good.. Show me u can act rite and get off when I say so and next time you can get longer

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My Heck yea If your going to have a online game account I"M PAYING FOR you better bet i'm having access to it!! Pasword an all.. sorry if your not able to make the payments yourself then you have no rite to that privacy, if your more willing to share your password with me.. with the knowdlege that I can and will check it at anytime.. it shows me I can trust you and you wont pull something stupid. I dont see the point in why kids have such a hard time with parents having pws.. that is what worries me.. if you have a problem with your parent having the pw and checking on you.. then you clearly are hiding something you do not want them to see.


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What do you think? I pay for your phone, it is mine, i simple allow you to acess it for your personal use. At anytime I am free to pick it up and glance thru it's contents.

X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

I LOVE IT!!! my rule is YOUR ROOM IS FOR SLEEPING ONLY!!! if you insist on going in there to play.. I'm taking your door if you can't keep it open. our kids have only beds in their rooms nothing more.. Dressers are in the playroom. toys are in the playroom. They will never have pc's or tv's in their room.. if you are going to do something or watch something I must know what it is. if you can't live with it.. OH well


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My Policy is.. Unless you have a Actual job, and can pay it yourself.. you do not get one.. if I feel the need has come up where you have to have one.. it will be a track phone or some sorta pre-pay simple. no frills phone. and only numbers I better ever find programed on it are Mine, dads, Grandma. aunt and uncle. THAT"S IT!. it's not to call friends. its not for anything other then to call one of us adults if your in trouble or for us to check on u. Simple as tht

 

[bullyforme]

In addition, 2012 is the last year dicationaries will be printed in new editions. They have been deemed an obsolete tool since language changes so much each year, and updated editions will only be available via the internet. So much for learning the old fashioned way!

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

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I bet it also made people cringe seeing only the rich people with phones when they first came out. If there is the technology why not use it? Our generation has to be more tech savvy to get jobs. You want an office job? You better be able to be doing at least 60 gwam to be able to keep ahead if you are in scheduling.

Just because a child isn't given access to a cell phone 24/7 or is not allowed to have a facebook certainly does not make them any less tech saavy than a child who has both of those things. In fact, most people I know who regularly use the computer and are constantly on the cell phone really have no clue how to actually USE either. My tech saavy friends are usually the ones who do not engage in social media websites and are not constantly buried in their cell phones.

I believe there is a difference between using technology and abusing technology. Too many people are addicted to their computers/phones.

 

[Chickangel79]

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She was given a phone by my sister for Christmas last year, it texts phones, camera and internet. If my daughter has done chores and helped in the garden she will earn money to put credit on the phone. SHe does not use the internet on it as she learnt it uses the credit up very very fast

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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And ALL publishers of ALL dictionaries have agreed to this? Somehow I sincerely doubt it.

 

[greeneggsandham]

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X 2.

Plus, I, being the somewhat mature and reasonable adult, get a Smartphone. DH gets the Smartphone - well, he has two actually, one for work, one for home. My kids who have earned the right to have a cell phone get the world's most boring plan and phone EVER. They can make calls. They can play two preloaded games.

There is no internet on their phones. There is no texting on their phones. There is no camera on their phones.

You want to use the internet, there is a computer right there in the family room. You want to talk to your friend, call them.

I also have the horribly unfair rule that bedroom doors are NOT shut unless you are changing clothes or sleeping. You break that rule, you lose the door.

I'm this mean when the kids are being well mannered and trustworthy. You do not want to see how mean I can be when they've thrown that trust away, then stomped on it. You want a social life? Have fun being social with the chickens.

Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

How does her kids not having the internet, texting, or a camera on their cell phone make them socially repressed?

The technology that people find so important that they just can't live without has ruined this world in my eyes.
I watch kids, teens, adults walking around with the darn thing either glued to their ear or their fingers.
I witnessed a young man walking down the sidewalk a month ago. He was so engrossed in the texting he was doing, he never looked up to see if it was ok to cross the street. Unfortunatly it didn't end well for him and the poor truck driver that hit him was beside himself.
Myself and two other people not only were beeping our horns to get his attention, but we went over to him after he was hit to see if there was anything we could do.

So, yea make sure every parent gives their children cellphones that have everything on so they won't be a socially repressed child. Instead they may just be a dead one!

 

[Chickangel79]

Quote:
Are you planning to bring up socially repressed children that are so messed up they will be the next mass murderer in a high school ????

How does her kids not having the internet, texting, or a camera on their cell phone make them socially repressed?

The technology that people find so important that they just can't live without has ruined this world in my eyes.
I watch kids, teens, adults walking around with the darn thing either glued to their ear or their fingers.
I witnessed a young man walking down the sidewalk a month ago. He was so engrossed in the texting he was doing, he never looked up to see if it was ok to cross the street. Unfortunatly it didn't end well for him and the poor truck driver that hit him was beside himself.
Myself and two other people not only were beeping our horns to get his attention, but we went over to him after he was hit to see if there was anything we could do.

So, yea make sure every parent gives their children cellphones that have everything on so they won't be a socially repressed child. Instead they may just be a dead one!

It's not that, its the having to have doors open all the time, or it gets removed, and wanting to control your child's lives every second of every day, creating mini me's and not being an individual. Lord help them if they ever expressed a different view from their parents.