poured in my life can't it stop? Dads Gone9/25/10Gmas Gone10/31/10

[3goodeggs]

Please do not be mad at your sister. She lost her dad too. At the time she was losing him and had no control over it. It is hard when families fight.
Please make up with her. You will all feel better, and you know that is what would make your Daddy happy.
I keep you in my prayers and good thoughts.

 

[Spookwriter]

With a sad heart, I read this post tonight.

Even as I sit here at this desk...let me bow my head, and pray
for Chickeypoo tonight, that Our Lord in all His graciousness, will
watch over this family and comfort them. Tonight, and in the days
to come, may He hold this family in His loving hands as they struggle
with the death of their father.




Spook

 

[chickeypoo]

My sister is a selfish person.. always has been always will be. Thinks she needs to have everything her way. I was trying to be nice to her. I have always done my best to be nice to her.. To me.. she's a toxic person. She can make me laugh and stuff when we are together.. but i know that she has never really liked me. When i was 4 or 5.. she called me a name... starts with a B, and i will never forgive her that.. she never apologized. I won't apologize for what happened last sunday. she makes things seem like they are my fault so she can blame me for it. she moved away when i was young and moved back to the area and she never came to visit so i just can't see how she can be so at a loss that he passed away. she never made time for him until this all happened. Honestly, i didn't want her back in my life. the only time she stopped at my house(which she drove by quite often) was when she wanted to get married(for the third time) to as where i went and what i had to do for it. in 7 years. never stopped by except that once. when she moved back i dropped everything to go see her and i did all the phone calls and i emailed her every time i could.. she never took the time to call or anything unless i did it first. so.. i think i have more than enough reasons to think she's toxic.

anyway, on a happier note.. it's not all crappy

my dad got to see my DD in cloth diapers.. which reminded him of when i was little. and he got to see her potty trained. and she even used the potty in the hospital and when she came out she announced that she used it LOL. he got to hear her call him *papa duck* which was a name all the girls called him. lol.

I do believe he knew his time was coming.. i do believe that is why he came up to go to her grave. he wanted to see it one last time to pay his respects to her.. and i think to also remind me where she was.. it's funny.. the last time i saw it, i was maybe 7. but i remembered exactly what it looked like. when i was wheeling him, i stopped and asked if he remembered where it was.. up top in the middle or near the bottom.. he said i think it's in the middle.. so i started to walk straight up from where i stopped and there it was.. straight up from where i stopped him to ask that question. Wierd.. i think she was looking for him. there has been a lot of weird things happening to me in the last few weeks with phone calls and such.

anyway, that's all i have to say for now. i am heading to bed.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

and prayers your you and your family

 

[Southernbelle]

I'm sorry to hear your dad has passed, Sue. Prayers and hugs to you all.

You're in my thoughts.

 

[chickeypoo]

So, tonight his pooch came to live with us. She's got the poops and they couldn't figure out why she's so thin and didn't want to feed her pups. They were feeding her ol roy and that gave my dogs the poops when i was feeding them it when i din't have money to buy good food. she's happy here. she saw my middle DD and she high tailed it to her and ran up to her and wagged and wagged. she doesn't seem to bad that my dad is gone. i think it's cuz she knows he's not in pain. she's just a mutt, but she's pretty laid back.

That's my update for tonight. when i get her a bit more settled in, ill post a few pics

 

[chickeypoo]

So, today i took the money he gave me and i got a smallish tattoo on my wrist. Didn't hurt a bit.. maybe with all the pain in my heart.. i don't have room for regular pain ya know? now i can look upon it and just think... i did the tat with some of the money he gave me.. the rest goes for the bigger tattoo i got.

onto the pics.. i only got one of the dog. and one of my tattoo.

I was texting with my sis, since they so nicely seem to have forgotten i exist.. i haven't had a say in much of anything. i was never told that they were doing the obit or anything with the cremation.. they mispelled my youngest DD's name..not impressed cuz they all had cell phones with them to verify names and spellings. they made sure to get the other kids names right. i had to ask about the ceremony, and when he's getting cremated. they didn't even tell me if they told my Gma. they don't volunteer any info. They have made me feel like a total outsider. im done going out of my way for them. i think once my puppy gets here and after his burial and the "celebration of life" is done, my contact with them is done. what's the point? esp when i'm made to feel left out.

anyway, she texted me to tell me that they burial is on the 22nd of Oct. ok fine..but he didn't want to be buried. so i had to ask that.. and she said well, some of his ashes will be in there. and in order to have his 21 gun salute, he's gotta have some type of burial. ok, thanks for sharing info that should have just been given to me, without me having to eek it out ya know? anyway, he's gonna be buried on top of my gpa.. i never met him. but my gma is adament that he's buried there. i don't even know if he's got a stone or not.

this whole thing is just messing me up. ya know? i know that everyone has lost someone in him.

his dog seems to have made herself right at home lol. living on my couch, on my bed, following me thru the house. i can't even go to the bathroom without that big nose peeking around the corner lol. the kids love having her around. her poops have stopped thankfully. lol. i like having her around cuz it's like a part of my dad is still here. but it's still sad, cuz then i always think of him. she has puppies not that long ago but she quit feeding them, and that is why her *chest* looks so big lol. she was getting really mean to the pups and that is why she is at my house. but i think she was feeding them a bit here and there cuz every now and then i find a wet spot on my bed

so, now i gotta wash my sheets.. again lol. she was drawing blood on the pups every time they'd try to get close. at least that's what im told.. my brother and his wife could jsut be throwing me for a loop so they don't have to deal with her.. Her name is Mattie. I figured a name for the puppy. Bailey.. cuz Baileys is cream colored LOL.

i miss my dad. i don't have many poeple to talk to and he was one of the few that i trusted. when i tried to talk to my sis last night, she's like "being nosey?" so i quit asking questions and went to bed. i can't even ask about my niece or my dad? oh well, guess that's how this will always be.

that's all for updates tonight, i think.

 

[sfw2]

More

for you. I'm glad you took your dad's dog in - I'm sure she misses him, too. And I'm glad her innards are settling down - it's amazing what a difference a decent brand of food can make!

And you know, you can still talk to your dad. You may not hear his answers out loud, but I'm sure he's watching over you.

 

[mmpb1]

Dear,
You did all that you could. Your dad knew that you and your children loved him. Parents ask for nothing more. Let go of all the family crazy. I tried for years to make peace with my brother. I still try to forgive, but it's very, very hard. That saying that we can choose our friends but not our relatives is true. But you can choose the people who love you and make your life better.
Margie

 

[mmpb1]

No, you don't have to forgive your sister. Mine didn't bother to show up for the funeral. We waited for 20 minutes. Daddy loved her a lot.
Margie