poured in my life can't it stop? Dads Gone9/25/10Gmas Gone10/31/10

[WriterofWords]

I hadn't been on much to see your update, I'm sorry I missed it. ((( Hugs ))))

 

[onecent]

I just sat & read your entire thread dropping tears & prayers all the way through it! you & your family are definitely in my prayers! you have been through so much! May God richly Bless you!

 

[chickeypoo]

They say it comes in threes ya know.. well, my DH's gma passed away, then my dad, and they gave my gma two weeks to live about a week ago.. so i think i've had more than my share in the last 6months. with everything that started this thread.

it's hard when you sit and think about my dad. i think he's gonna give me a call. or if i went to my brothers he'd be there. but i know that's not gonna happen. then i start to think about the last time i saw him. in the hospital bed, not breathing, me taking his hand and telling him i love him. i just don't know what to do with myself. all i want is sleep. i can barely have my cup of coffee cuz i remember how much he loved coffee.. gee where did i get that love? LOL.

i thank him daily for the things he has taught me. him and my gma are the ones who taught me to cook. and i have my gmas cook book. only ones who know i have it are my dad, my gma and my hubby. lol. that is staying with me. it's from when i was little. they taught me how to make donuts,(from that book)egg noodles,(again from that book). they are the ones that taught me to start cooking, i am the one who continued with my love for cooking. my gma liked to cook but as she got older, it got harder. my favorite of hers was chicken noodle soup. with the great big noodles. i NEVER saw her buy noodles LOL. except spaghetti. anyway, i also liked her "hobo dinner".. it was just macaroni noodles, and tomato juice, i think... and maybe hamburger.

my dad had a hard time working after he come back from veitnam, and also esp after his little girl passed away. so he lived with my gma. and they basically lived on her SSI check. which wasn't that much, but they made do.they never bought more than needed. they rarely threw food out. and they still had a dog.. or two. and since he was a trapper, he had meat for his dogs in the winter LOL. i never knew a more spoiled dog than his LOL. my dad would cook the meat every night for his pooch. He is gone now.. but he also did that for the dog after him and for the one i have now. he'd have a garden as well. but when they moved to an apt, i wasnt' sure how that was gonna work. well, he put up some tomatoes inbetween the apt and the house next door, and he got more than enough for himself and for gma.

im gonna miss everything we did together. i'm gonna miss rolling my eyes when he continues to talk even after he says he's gonna get off the phone LOL. i do that too.. must have gotten that from him as well HAHA. when he'd pick me up from work, he'd always detour to some place even though i felt like crap and wanted to go home. it was an excuse to spend more time together. not that he couldn't have come into my house. he wasn't one to sit around and visit though. ya know? his visiting was on the phone. mostly i think i miss his voice. cuz i always talked with him on the phone. i think the sunday we had together to visit his DD's grave was the last time i really talked with him. i can't really remember. i did talk with him when he was in the hospital though.

i did go to work yesterday.. that was hard. and it was a horribly long day. today im home. im so glad i work 4 10 hour days. lol. i get three days bereavment and i had to work yesterday.. not enough time to take off. i should have though. it was terrible. i don't look forward to working monday either. they asked me to work in another dept today, and i said no. i just dont feel up to working. ugh. and i don't care much for where they wanted me to work. ya know?

well, i should go. i gotta spend time with my little one. this was meant to be a short post lol. i just miss my dad so much.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

it will get easier, i promise. just take it slow and allow yourself to remember, to heal slowly. Life will never be the same, YOU will never be the same, but it will be okay in time. We're here if you need to chat, vent, cry or just have someone to listen. So keep in touch.

 

[mamagardener]

My heart really goes out to you. I don't really know if it gets easier, but you do go on. Just surround yourself with your children's laughter, if I didn't have my boys...I don't think I would have survived. Children are such a blessing, they really do make you feel better.

 

[PoultryPedia]

Quote:
That must have been so hard to experience. Very sad.

 

[dmccann]

I am so sorry,i know your pain. Darlene

 

[chickeypoo]

So.. as if things aren't going good enough.. my brother let me know that my grandma isn't doing well. they upped her morphine. and the next 24 hours will tell how it goes i guess. her birthday is Friday.. she'll be 87. i hate living so far away sometimes. it's about an hour drive to see my gma.. anyway, just wanted to let you know my update.

i decided that i dont' have the capacity to take care of a puppy at this time.. we have his adult dog, and she's doing great. my brother said he'd find a home for the puppy. with all my feelings.. i just think it will be too overwhelming.. i was kind of scared when Mattie came to live with us.. but i did find an awesome home for my chinese crested.. His new owner just loves him LOL. so do all her grandkids, and he loves it there. she's got a large fenced in yard, his own crate with a big bed, he sleeps in the bed with her and her hubby, he's had a pedicure, a shave, and she's taking care of his skin better than i could. I'm so happy that she found my ad. and im sure she's happy too. She's been emailing me every other day or so. and we chatted for quite a bit. I'm glad that i got to know her a bit

that's about all the good news.. but it was sad that he went too LOL.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

so sorry for all your loss. sometimes it seems like too much to handle. Please know that you are a strong woman, and while your heart breaks, your spirit is indomitable, and the transitions we face have both a negative and a positive side. the positive sides are much harder to see, and may take a while before your heart is healed enough to find them. prayers and well wishes for you and your family.

 

[3goodeggs]

Chickie poo, knowing what you 'are' and 'are not' capable of handling is a good thing. Dogs are great people, but you have a house full of 'people' people too. Sharing the doggie love may be the best thing. Hugs to you and keep the chin up. I know you must feel like all of the seams are falling out. Focus on the good things.