privacy during labor

[okiron]

I hope you have it your way. You're the one dealing with the labor, not him. I didn't let anyone come the day of, everyone had to wait till the next day. I was tired from an emergency c-section, not in the mood to be nice to others. I wanted to get to know my son.

 

[joebryant]

Gee, can't imagine why you'd not want all those people there; they'd be such a BIG help. For example, they could... Mmmmmm... Never mind.

I think you should tell them now that your husband will not call them until the final hour or after your daughter is born. Frankly, they'll more than likely protest, but I'd bet that they'd secretly be gateful. Don't be surprised if you get a lot of phone calls on your due date to find out if you're home.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
yes they would be a big HELP when they all want to take turns feeding, changing and burping dd! It was amusing as well when family members wants to squabble about who will hold her FIRST!

 

[gabrielle1976]

Quote:
If thats the way you want it its fine , tell DH that the next time he pushes something the size of a watermellon out his nether parts he can make as many calls as he wants. People act like its some sort of grand opening or something , there is nothing wrong with wanting all youre family friends and even the gardner with you and there is nothing wrong with wanting it to be just you and DH , Its a special privte thing , I shure the whole family wasnt watching on the sidelines when the baby was put in there

On a serous note though ,If you dont want visitor You NEED to talk to allt he nurses and staff and make shure they know and understand that its YOU AND ONLY YOU that decides when and who comes to visit , I had about a dozen people that wanted to be there when I had my son though my family and his dad were not any of the ones that wanted to be there I ended up not calling any one expcet my sister who would rather have been on a coffe break anyways

unfortantly it all happend so fast I didnt tell the nurses I didnt want anyone there and a friend of mine called while I was haveing a contraction and invited her self up and ended up being there for the whole thing, as by the time she got there I was ready to have him and didnt care about anything but getting him OUT

 

[Up-the-Creek]

Im with ya on that,..I had two babies and only person I wanted there was DH until it came time for the delivery and he was told to get out also. I did not want NOBODY there for that,exception of medical staff of course. I am mystifyed WHY anyone would want to be in the delivery room, I know I sure wouldnt even if it were my own daughter. That is a private thing and should not be shared with others. I will be waiting outside in the waiting room.

 

[CocoNUT]

I think you need to go with what makes you happiest. You also might want to ask your DH why he wants to call the moms...maybe he's scared of being 'there' or 'seeing stuff'!!! My hubby DEMANDED he'd be BEHIND me for the birth of our daughter...and things went so fast he ended up holding a foot!!! (My mom was VERY upset at not being 'invited' for the delivery cause that's the whole 'competitive grandma' thing nowdays...but I told her too bad!)

I wasn't too keen on having anyone else in the delivery room...besides...with all the hospital staff...you're hardly going to get lonely anyways! I like the idea of reminding your hubby that your moms were NOT present for the CONCEPTION of your daughter...so let's all decide the DELIVERY is as 'intimate' for the two of you!

Besides...most hospitals have 'visiting hours'...especially for maternity wards. My mom lives far away (so was out of town) and my in-laws would've have been able to see our daughter anyways since she was born AFTER visiting hours were over! They were JUST as excited to see their granddaughter the following afternoon!

Either way, good luck and enjoy your new family!

 

[EweSheep]

Coconut, if I talked to my mother too bad, I probably will not be spoken to!

 

[DoulaHallie]

Sounds like your DH needs a lesson in how labor works. There is nothing worse than everyone knowing your in labor!! I had a home birth with a small group of doula friends (every woman should have a doula!) and I was getting ready to push and a text message came across my phone asking what was doing on- what did they THINK might be going on, sheesh, after 24 hours of labor, it was the first time I cursed. I would suggest make the rule this- he can call when the baby arrives. This will (hopefully) buy a little time before guests arrive, to allow clean up (if you need suturing etc) for mom, that the family and friends need not be around for, while not having to take baby out of the room for them to oogle over (and put their germs all over). The first hour or 2 are so special, and there is nothing worse than being crowded by a million people who all want to hold the baby and pictures. as a doula I hate when I see large groups come in, with good intentions, but the poor mom, who did all that work, doesn't get much quiet time with her new miracle. Being a doula, I'm of course a beliver, but having one, can help with crowd control, they can be mad at her, and not you or your DH. Its really important, especially in a hospital, that you, the laboring woman, have the environment you need, because simply the comings and goings of ths hospital staff can and often do hinder the process. People waiting arond watching has often been known to slow labors (watched pot syndrome!) good luck, and best wishes, the day will be here soon!

 

[mom'sfolly]

Have you done the child birth classes? Was your dh paying attention? Does he have a clue what will go on? Did he understand that you will be at it for a long while? Did he understand about the potential for pooping as you push or tearing? He needs to know that some things dont need to be shared.

You get to decide, not anyone else. If anyone called will show up, then he has to understand that he can't call. Childbirth is natural and normal, but it is not easy or pretty. If you wouldn't fart in front of your MIL, you don't want to do childbirth in front of your MIL. Most bodily functions are performed in private for a reason, and childbirth is no exception. Additionally, you will be in pain, sweaty, hormonal, and limited in motion so you will not be in the mood for company.

Your dh might respond to some other ideas. The family doesn't need to know or worry about how the labor is progressing. If something is faster or slower than it should be, he doesn't need to be dealing with comments and questions from family. If your families are the type to question the decisions about medical care you and your doctor make, he has better things to deal with. There will be plenty of joy to share after the little on makes its appearance.

 

[SOchick]

I spoke with my parents and his parents several times before the due date and explained that we would call when I went to the hospital, but they would not be welcome there until several hours (or the next day) after the birth. The one exception with my second daughter was that my dad would stay with my oldest and bring her in the room right after the birth so she could help with the first bath. But he was very understanding and did not come in himself, he and my mom waited until we called them (much later) to visit. Same with DH's parents. You need to explain this to your husband and both sets of parents. Also talk to your doctor several times before you go into labor and stress no visitors. you could write it in your birth plan (if you have one) and give it to your nurse when you go in too. But I think the most important thing is talking to everyone so that your husband and both parents understand and agree to what you want. Good Luck!!!