DD LOVES to read books! It is something I do NOT want to do. Hubby is for that kind of thing.
My dd loves to help me (even no tickets) in doing things that she wants to do and she would say "I'm bored!" Sure, no problem, come in and help me stir the noodles! She would ask tons of questions about the noodles, how it was made and why we eat them, etc.
Biggest issue was, still is, between hubby and daughter. Hubby got into trouble with the counselor for not "discussing the type of punishment" we can give to dd in agreeable manner rather than him doing it ALL. I used to intervene alot because his punishments were beyond ridiculous and very unreasonable for a seven year old. Now the couselor told me NOT to. (Read the Love and Logic, Helicopter mom and drill sargeant dad type of scenerio here) So from then on, hubby and I would have dd in the other room while we throw ideas how we can punish her by taking away one hour of TV, no movies that day, or no playdoh/games for one day. It used to be in hubby's way was ONE week. Ok, you mouthed off some more, ok I'll take two weeks. Oh, you are doing it again, then you wont have a whole month!.....that is how my hubby was until he got into trouble with the counselor and whatever happened that session, he didn't do it as often. When they both get so mad, they don't see reasons and up manship comes out full force. Hubby tried to pull all the stops by removing her tickets and dd gets so mad. I can not intervene at that point (as much as I want to but counselor said NO, do not intervene).
Hubby and I have totally different upbringing, structure in our families. I don't get into trouble except for sibling rivilary. I respected my elders and dont talk back at my parents (or I'll get a smack or spanking for being out of line). As for hubby, his father was a prison guard (sometimes he would come home and use that kind of yell talk to him, belittling him (just as bad as his mom) and his mother was physically and verbally and emotional abusive to him. She did tell me that he was a very very difficult child, could not disclipine him effectively except in a harsher way and no love for him. He pretty much did whatever he wanted to do, where to go and so forth, no structure. He was bullied ALOT by his school mates, all the way from grade school to high school and he does stand out (visualize him in Pee Wee Herman outfit with out the tie........it was pitiful to look at and later I had to laugh out of nervousness how WEIRD he dressed). His mother spent all the money, left the kids very little money for clothes to buy at second hand stores......the 1950-60's poly clothes. His mother and him never got along as they got older. His relationship with his father is very very strained. They used to be close after high school when his dad retired from the prison (max. facilities, the good bad guys or hard core criminals go there). I love his father and I was able to get a good relationship with him easily even he has some early Alzeihmer's going on.
I have to see our counselor by myself today....he needed to talk to me alone......wondered what it would be or the findings on hubby's ADD testings. Hubby said he does NOT have ADD or PTSD but I strongly felt that he does because of YEARS of bullying and the familly abuse he had. If my daughter has it, he should have it too.
