Random Griping About My Evil Monster-In-Law... Long Post, Sorry!

[Tiramisu]

I agree with Cindiloohoo and TipsyDog.
You shouldn't have to deal with her saying stuff about you or her telling your kids things.

 

[Wifezilla]

If he wants to go see mom, let him. No fuss. No fights. But no way in HELL should you let this woman in to your home OR allow her access to your children. She is seriously mentally ill. Hubby can be a good son and go visit and bring pictures of the kids with him. That is IT.

 

[jendh]

That woman is toxic and should be allowed no part of you or your children's lives. If DH wants to visit her, fine it's HIS mama. You have already tolerated more than anyone should be asked to. It sounds as though there are some serious mental health issues at work with her as well. You have every right to not allow her to pollute your world anymore. Good luck to you it sounds like it's going to be a tough battle.

 

[EweSheep]

Very good suggestions, Wifezilla and Jen!

Many good advises and suggestions....pick what you think it is best for you and your marriage and for your kids' sake!

 

[redhen]

Quote:
WHat she said..

 

[HeatherLynn]

Until he sets things straight she would not be welcome in my home. You have every right to say NO. If he wants her to visit for 10 hour than tell him to go visit her. If he doesn't go for that, pack up the kids and charge a room to his card. Make the argument that she is not good for you, nor is she good for your children when all she does is undermine you and your authority.

I want you to understand I totally get where your coming from, and I take ALOT of crap from my MIL BUT I always have my husbands support. I take the crap because I am willing to and because if she goes over the boundaries again I know my hubby will once again put her back in her place. I can put up with the small crap because I know I have his support. You don't. Don't take this the wrong way but hubby sounds a bit wimpy. If he is not behind you, you guys seriously might need to rethink what your fighting for because something is broken.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

I know next to nothing about MILs, but I think you should eliminate most, if not all, contact with her. She'll just keep poisoning your family.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Honestly, it is an issue between you and your husband. His mother is an outside force, that should not be in your marriage. She can be in your HOUSE, but not your marriage. You aren't wrong for feeling the way you do. I've been there with my MIL/DH before. I finally laid down the rules to BOTH of them...DH got nailed FIRST because he had control of how she made him feel/react and he needed to see that and deal accordingly. I'd tell DH that she could come, but HE would be liable for the damage if she doesn't behave herself. The kids, would be advised to NOT pit you two against each other BEFORE she was allowed to step foot in the house and they would well know the consequences of their disobedience to you before hand. Let your anger and hurt subside, and go talk to DH calmly about how she and the situation makes you feel, and he has no choice but to honor his wife or not at that point. What he decides would be very telling. Emotional abandonment is a deal breaker. You have to set the boundaries, they have a choice whether or not to overstep them. Complete and total shut down of Mrs. Nice would be totally called for if they don't play nice. She'd be made leave, and if he has issue with that....he could follow. It's a horrible position to be in, and I truly feel for you and AM PRAYING that things can be reconciled between all involved!!!

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
WHat she said..

Yup. Sounds like SHE needs help. Is she still married? What is the relationship with HER husband like? That would give me an indication of things. I would try to tactfully suggest therapy for MIL to your husband. Sounds like the woman needs a hobby at the very least.

 

[debilorrah]

There is not a chance in hell I would be in the same house as her. If she DOES come, grab a girlfriend, go get a hotel room and watch cheesy movies and drink too much.