Random Griping About My Evil Monster-In-Law... Long Post, Sorry!

[gettinaclue]

I always thought my horror in law was the worst!

I've been lucky though, my husband supports me and drew a line in the sand for his mother a few years back. We've been married 12 years, together 15 or so.

She is incredibly passive aggresive and makes crude rude ugly remarks only when we are alone.

You really need his support. She is going to keep doing what she is doing as long as HE allows it. He is going to have to choose, or you should. She's toxic and it's time to purge. It's just a matter of what to purge and how much.

I will pray for you and you family. ((((HUGS))))

 

[littlefarm_bighappy]

Um, she sounds harmful to the kids, and that is the #1 reason in my book to send her off with some leather goods- a belt in the mouth and a boot in the butt.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

The hubby needs to nut up and be a man. Leave and cleave. Grow a stinkin pair. This should have been dealt with when she acted so obnoxiously rude at the wedding. And girl you need to nut up too and tell him that you are his wife, the mother of his children, his first priority, and if he doesn't start treating you that way he can leave. It's his decision to have a happy marriage or to let the Hellhound keep screwing with it. He's not even worthy of being called a momma's boy.

 

[Qi Chicken]

WOW> I thought my MIL was crazy. This is completely nuts. The danger is of course to your marriage but also to your kids. And the other posters were right. Your home is your HOME and it is your decision who to let in. I would NOT let my husband take the kids to visit her. They are too young to be poisoned like that. They are your most precious people and deserve to be protected from that kind of venom.

You need to figure out where your finances are. I am sure you love him and don't want to lose him but you NEED to lose her and HE will make the decision if they are a package deal. THIS is his choice. You can not take responsibilty for his choice. And she doesn't win if he leaves (temporarily or otherwise) you do. You can't be expected to live like this.

SO:

FIrst, figure out what you will need to live on and what you have. You may want to consult a lawyer on this one. Child support and all that.

Second, figure out the parameters of what you will accept. Is she allowed in your house? What comments will you tolerate? How frequent can the contact be? What actions are not acceptable? Know precisely what you will and will not do and let your husband know. This way he can decide if he wants to abide by these rules or not.

She seriously seems unwell. and I feel so horrible for you, I can't imagine being pregnant and having all this going on. Plus two little kids. She will not change until she has to, and maybe not even then. If your husband is STRONG and gives her the rules calmly and lets her know specifically what will happen if they are not followed and then FOLLOW THROUGH> this may work.............Gosh, I hope so. I just can't believe someone would act that way. She may threaten all kinds of things, scary things, if she thinks she is going to lose him. He has to make it clear that she will not lose him unless she chooses to disrespect you.

WOW> again, I'm so sorry you are going through all this.

Anne

 

[Spookwriter]

Lay down the law like you mean it and be prepared to back up what you say.

***
Had something else typed, but changed my mind about posting.


...and a man shall leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife.


And that, my friends is the way it has to be in a marriage. Both ways, be you
the husband or wife. Cleave onto each other.

If the husband is not ready to defend his own family from his mother...perhaps the
best thing he can do is to go back to his mother.

My own parents made that mistake once. I promise you...they won't dare make that
mistake again.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
But take the kids with you!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Part of what you need to demand is that she not talk about either of you to other family members. I don't think you can stick with saying not lying; that is too flexible--the WAY something is said can have a huge impact on how it is received. If the words are accurate, but all the subtle and not suble body language and tone of voice and eact phrasing are taken into account, the message portrayed can be very diffferent. It has to be not talk about y'all AT ALL.

If it comes down to a breaking point, you need it as a part of custody that his mother can never see or speak to the kids until they are at least 18, and that then it is up to them as to whether they wish to see her or not.

 

[debilorrah]

Seeing posts like this makes me almost glad Ken's mom has passed on. ALMOST. I would have loved to have had the chance to meet her, and reading this, I am glad I didn't get to find out if she was nuts or not. I do know that her number of marriages would have put Elizabeth Taylor to shame.

 

[cassie]

Make hubby reread his marriage vows. The ones about forsaking all others. Personally, I wouldn't let this woman in my house or my childrens' lives. When she comes to visit, she could stay in a motel and hubby could visit her there. Without the kids. This woman is a certifiable nut case and the less exposure to her the better for all concerned.

 

[greeneggsandham]

My opinion no matter how much you love him, you and the children need to get out of that toxic enviorment. It is not healthy to be treated the way she treats you especially with you being pregnant. Your husband should be standing up for you and not turning what his mother says around to make it look like your at fault.

I would leave. Tell him you've had enough and he can go running back home to mommy dearest.

Sorry you have a rotten MIL.