Rant about DH...

[Frosty]

Quote:
In the case of DH, I honestly don't believe he knew that he was depressed. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself (suddenly had an extra load put on me taking up the slack at home. I was pregnant when it all went down hill so dealing with that and the birth of our child and feeling totally alone) that it took me a while to figure out that he had classic signs of depression. I finally figured it out, and eventually insisted that he see a counselor. But he only did it for me, he still didn't know. It wasn't until last year that he said he thought that he might be depressed. He had been showing signs since 1990, and it got worse after he had a stroke in 2001. And it was 2010, 20 years after he started showing signs that he finally realized that what he was feeling wasn't 'normal'.

Quote:
I'm not at all jealous of people who always seem happy. All too often it's just a front. I had a young man working for me some years ago, and he was the joker at work. Always laughing and joking around. When he was 'happy', people tended to hang around him. If he wasn't joking, they went elsewhere so he learned to always be 'happy' so he wasn't alone. I sat and watched him joking one day, and he just seemed a little off. As his supervisor, I told him that I needed to talk to him and got him alone, then I asked what was wrong. It turns out that his wife had another miscarriage, and we sat and talked for a long time. He definately wasn't happy, but you had to watch closely to see that. Some people are really good at hiding their misery because they feel that people around them expect them to always be happy. I actually feel sorry for those people because they keep it all bottled up and feel that they can't talk to anyone.

 

[rebel-rousing-at-night]

Quote:
Now before everyone gets itchy fingers here I have read most all posts except the very long ones just could not focus that long and there are exceptions to the rule always but it seems that we all think our depression is worse than someone else's and that can be depressing in and of itself.

I really don't mean to offend you, but this statement offends me big time because I think you SHOULD read those long posts until you find the ability to FOCUS on what was said and try ever so hard to get an understanding of this debilitating disease.

There is a lot of truth in kids being depressed because their team lost at sports,their girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with them or maybe their vacation was canceled.

That kind of depression is short lived and an explanation of the kind of depression we are talking about here is so not the same. The depression we are talking about is a very real and crippling disease. Yes, a person with this disease can seem like the life of a party etc.

I'm not even shocked anymore when I hear "the life of the party " type of person has committed suicide. I do wonder if there was something I could have done for that person. I am sad that they suffered in silence.

Those kind of ppl should truly get an award for their acting ability. Chronically depressed ppl would WELCOME tooth pain for a year with no problem if it meant at the end of that year they would be free of chronic depression.

Depression can be a very difficult disease to understand and some ppl never understand it. I call them "lucky".

 

[Rusty Hills Farm]

Now before everyone gets itchy fingers here I have read most all posts except the very long ones just could not focus that long and there are exceptions to the rule always but it seems that we all think our depression is worse than someone else's and that can be depressing in and of itself.

I really don't mean to offend you, but this statement offends me big time because I think you SHOULD read those long posts until you find the ability to FOCUS on what was said and try ever so hard to get an understanding of this debilitating disease.

There is a lot of truth in kids being depressed because their team lost at sports,their girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with them or maybe their vacation was canceled.

That kind of depression is short lived and an explanation of the kind of depression we are talking about here is so not the same. The depression we are talking about is a very real and crippling disease. Yes, a person with this disease can seem like the life of a party etc.

There is a HUGE difference between ordinary sadness and actual depression. Unfortunately, many people think they are the same things. They are NOT. The 2 words are NOT interchangeable. They do not describe the same conditions at all. Many times folks think "sadness" is not strong enough a word for what they are feeling so they call it "depression". But sadness is transitory and depression is not.

I served with a kid who once stood in the shower for almost 2 hours because he did not have the strength to turn it off. He was depressed. The kid who cried all night because his girl broke it off was hurting. He was deeply saddened, but he was not depressed. A week later he was off chasing somebody new.

You get over being sad. Depression, on the other hand, does NOT just "go away."

JMO


Rusty​

 

[welsummerchicks]

BINGO.

And yes, good many people don't know they are depressed. First of all, a good many people don't feel SAD at all in depression. They feel numb. Dull. Disinterested. Lost.

Our brains are EXTREMELY BAD at telling us something is wrong with - our brains. The brain is simply not designed to do that. The brain simply perceives. It tells us what it perceives. It does not tell us, 'I'm exhausted, numb, sad, hopeless, but frankly, I think it's actually due to depression'.

You guys remember Ollie Sach's book where he tells us about the guy who had a stroke, and lost feeling in his leg? The nurses rush in - he's trying to throw the leg out of the bed, and when he goes with it, he's surprised, but not terribly daunted. He keeps trying to chuck the leg out. The nurses asked, 'WHY?' 'BECAUSE IT AIN'T MINE!' This guy was NOT mentally ill or psychotic, he was just a normal guy, showing us how our brains REALLY work!

"You could think your depression is worse than someone else's and that could be depression in itself"

The only person who is qualified to diagnose depression is doctors, and what would be better, psychiatrists. They're more expert in it, and they aren't fooled as often by 'the blues' or - well - bipolar disorder. It's really not good if a person with bipolar takes antidepressants - ALONE.

Which is, the brain feels things, it doesn't always interpret them correctly. It is very biased towards, 'If I feel it, it's a valid perception'.

I don't know actually, how the term 'depression' even came to be used for life events and normal sadness.

I think that just indicates how little people understand about the illness.

There is evidence that depression actually affects cell mitochondria - these produce energy for cells in the body.

As a friend with depression said, 'Isn't biology wonderful?' Still, it helped him to know he wasn't 'weak of character' or 'lazy'. And it also helped him to know that he could learn to manage it. I always tried to equate his symptoms with 'ripples on the surface', 'symptoms' and most definitely, not his choice or anything about his inner being, his core, his soul, what really was important about him. Inside, he was still the same person he always was. Not weak of character, not lazy, but something was preventing him from doing everything he wanted to do. And that SOMETHING could be managed. I equated it to diabetes or asthma. I pointed out how many people with fairly MILD asthma are very disabled, as they don't step up and manage it.

But again, there just is no comparison between depression and the feelings most people get.

It's like being short of breath after running the 440 in record time, and comparing that to a guy in the hospital who is gasping for breath just sitting in bed, who has not been able to so much as get up out of the bed and walk to the bathroom for 2 years, due to congestive heart failure.

 

[chickened]

Maybe you should learn to not take offence? I have for the most part especially in a forum atmosphere. Do You really think that me reading a long winded quote is magically going to change 40 plus years of life lessons? really? I am not trying to offend anyone on here but giving MY opinion. I happen to believe that our society has degraded to the point that a lot of our problems evolve from not taking personal responsibility and in that process we create these "diseases" so we can deal with them externally as if we cannot help it sort of like Flip Wilson used to say "The devil made me do it" Again these are MY opinions and my comments and not to be taken for offence. Our youth should never be allowed to have a pity party for losing at sports or worse yet fill their head with the idea that they are depressed and that rude poor sportsmanship behavior is normal and acceptable and with all due respect that line of thinking is quite frankly "bull". People that learn to deal with failure at a young age have less if not any depression issues as an adult as from what is posted here indicates that it is a long term "illness" you don't wake up one day and say Oh I must be depressed it begins as a slippery slope that eventually snares you. Cancer is a complex disease also and researchers are finding that the will to live and defeat this horrible disease is greatly helped the patients keep a positive attitude and don't give up on it. Again this is my opinion and I apologize for any offence and personally have not taken offence to anything said either.
Quote:
Now before everyone gets itchy fingers here I have read most all posts except the very long ones just could not focus that long and there are exceptions to the rule always but it seems that we all think our depression is worse than someone else's and that can be depressing in and of itself.

I really don't mean to offend you, but this statement offends me big time because I think you SHOULD read those long posts until you find the ability to FOCUS on what was said and try ever so hard to get an understanding of this debilitating disease.

There is a lot of truth in kids being depressed because their team lost at sports,their girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with them or maybe their vacation was canceled.

That kind of depression is short lived and an explanation of the kind of depression we are talking about here is so not the same. The depression we are talking about is a very real and crippling disease. Yes, a person with this disease can seem like the life of a party etc.

I'm not even shocked anymore when I hear "the life of the party " type of person has committed suicide. I do wonder if there was something I could have done for that person. I am sad that they suffered in silence.

Those kind of ppl should truly get an award for their acting ability. Chronically depressed ppl would WELCOME tooth pain for a year with no problem if it meant at the end of that year they would be free of chronic depression.

Depression can be a very difficult disease to understand and some ppl never understand it. I call them "lucky".

 

[chickened]

Not sure what I did here on double post,sorry
Quote:
Now before everyone gets itchy fingers here I have read most all posts except the very long ones just could not focus that long and there are exceptions to the rule always but it seems that we all think our depression is worse than someone else's and that can be depressing in and of itself.

I really don't mean to offend you, but this statement offends me big time because I think you SHOULD read those long posts until you find the ability to FOCUS on what was said and try ever so hard to get an understanding of this debilitating disease.

There is a lot of truth in kids being depressed because their team lost at sports,their girlfriend or boyfriend broke up with them or maybe their vacation was canceled.

That kind of depression is short lived and an explanation of the kind of depression we are talking about here is so not the same. The depression we are talking about is a very real and crippling disease. Yes, a person with this disease can seem like the life of a party etc.

I'm not even shocked anymore when I hear "the life of the party " type of person has committed suicide. I do wonder if there was something I could have done for that person. I am sad that they suffered in silence.

Those kind of ppl should truly get an award for their acting ability. Chronically depressed ppl would WELCOME tooth pain for a year with no problem if it meant at the end of that year they would be free of chronic depression.

Depression can be a very difficult disease to understand and some ppl never understand it. I call them "lucky".

 

[Frosty]

Early on in this thread, somebody said that I also needed help for my depression. After reading everything here and trying to wrap my brain around it, I have come to the conclusion that I am not depressed. I am frustrated, overwhelmed, and sometimes angry. But depressed? I don't think so. When it gets to me in the summer, I go outside and do physical work... digging, hauling, you name it and I feel better. Getting upset when I don't get something that I want? I refer to that as putting on my 'big girl hat', and I tell folks that I hate the big girl hat because it doesn't fit right and makes my head hurt. Give me a day or so and I'm over it.

But here is my new concern... They had him on Percocet for pain, but he can't take it when he is working. Due to being on Aspirin from his stroke, he shouldn't take meds like Ibuprofen. So he asked the doctor for something that he can take while working, and they put him on Tramadol. Apart from the fact that there is a higher risk of seizures for people with a history of strokes... the stuff is a synthetic opioid and searching on line shows that if you get addicted it can be really horrible coming off of the stuff, partly because of the effect on the brain. He did say that it made him 'happy', so I specifically searched under depression and Tramadol (also because of the mention of serotonin in the paper that came with it). The stuff sounds pretty scary actually. Does anybody know anything about it?

 

[welsummerchicks]

Early on in this thread, somebody said that I also needed help for my depression. After reading everything here and trying to wrap my brain around it, I have come to the conclusion that I am not depressed. I am frustrated, overwhelmed, and sometimes angry. But depressed? I don't think so. When it gets to me in the summer, I go outside and do physical work... digging, hauling, you name it and I feel better. Getting upset when I don't get something that I want? I refer to that as putting on my 'big girl hat', and I tell folks that I hate the big girl hat because it doesn't fit right and makes my head hurt. Give me a day or so and I'm over it.

Ah....well, that's nice. But I have also met an awful lot of people who were sure they did not have depression, and they did. You may well not have depression, but a good many people have very, very strong motivation to deny it. They may think it is a 'weakness' or that since everyone depends on them or they have many responsibilities, they can't be depressed.

But here is my new concern... They had him on Percocet for pain, but he can't take it when he is working. Due to being on Aspirin from his stroke, he shouldn't take meds like Ibuprofen. So he asked the doctor for something that he can take while working, and they put him on Tramadol. Apart from the fact that there is a higher risk of seizures for people with a history of strokes... the stuff is a synthetic opioid and searching on line shows that if you get addicted it can be really horrible coming off of the stuff, partly because of the effect on the brain. He did say that it made him 'happy', so I specifically searched under depression and Tramadol (also because of the mention of serotonin in the paper that came with it). The stuff sounds pretty scary actually. Does anybody know anything about it?

I know one thing, you should not try to make decisions about medications from reading stuff on the internet.

For example, addiction. There are three possibilities, that it's only addictive under certain circumstances, or at certain doses (common), that they don't plan to have him on it for that long where an addiction would form(common), or that given the situation and level of pain, they need to try this despite possible addiction (rare and probably not in play in this case).

Too, remember what 'addiction' means and does not mean. ALL it means is that over time, a person may POSSIBLY require an increase of dose. It doesn't mean the person is going to turn into a raving heroin addict, sometimes all it means is that the person has to gradually taper down his dose when he quits.

It can also mean that if the person stops the drug, they may get a head ache or their symptoms may return. So be careful. A lot of web sites have hysterics about a drug being 'addictive' when they don't even know what that means.

It RARELY means what I think of when I hear that word, I had to learn what that means.

I can give you an example from my own life. I very cavalierly told my nurse practitioner that a medication was making me dizzy. I had read that on the internet.

Her eyes got as big as saucers. 'Not in a blue moon, dear', and she was right. I had an extremely severe sinus infection and meningitis was even a possibility. I had to go on antibiotics and all sorts of cr**.

Internet information no matter where it comes from, just does not give you all the information. And it generally is EXTREMELY partial and even, out of date. Talk to the doctor, get the facts - all the facts.

 

[QuinnP]

my first husband also completed suicide. depression is terrible.

 

[welsummerchicks]

Right there with ya QuinnP. It is terrible.

People need to learn - depression is not the usual sadness from life's ups and downs.

Depression is a disease, not a choice.

Depression is treatable. If one treatment does not work, another will.

Depression can not even frequently be fixed by home remedies, self-encouragement and 'pulling yourself up by your bootstraps', if it was fixed by such means, it probably was an 'adjustment disorder'(life's ups and downs, however painful), not depression.

Suicidal talk/behavior is not always or even often, 'to 'get attention'. People who talk about it - DO do it.

Things we are never taught and need to know - and too often, only find out in retrospect.