rant: At some point it's time to GROW UP!

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You said it. My mom had 4 children and she made it so fun to do activities. We planned our summer trips clear down to the roads we would take to get there and how much gas would cost and meals and we could eat out but we would have to sacrifice an activity. It really taught us give and take and planning and Hey, if we wait another month we will have 50 more bucks to spend. wanna wait? Those sort of things. Do we tent it or motel it.
 
Go out without the children? What a wild concept!! The DH and I haven't had a night out in over 2 years. We did eat out the other day when he took me to a doctor's appointment before the kids got out of school. It felt so weird and we both mentioned it wasn't the same without the kids.

I just don't take mine to places that aren't child friendly. We eat at McDonald's and such because everyone is there w/ kids. We rent instead of going to movies so I don't have to deal with- "He is too tall and I can't see the movie", "I need to go pee", and my personal favorite "I'm hungry". I also get to miss the disgruntled person sitting behind us, wishing we weren't there.

Between the kids and farm chores that are on a schedule- example milking, we don't plan much out. Our friends know this and more often than not it ends up being a free for all at our place. Fishing, Bar B Qing, etc.

Nice to see others that are doing the same thing. My MIL is in another country and my parents are not physically able to babysit. There is no one else that I trust, thus they go everywhere I do.
 
Adults dressing up as elves, seed bags, and spells. That's just a little on the bizarre side for a reason to dump your kids off on someone. Yep Grow Up Already.
 
On that note, My DH is normally a very busy person so does not get to go with me when I go shopping at Wally world or feed store etc. I do take my girls and a Saturday treat is the Chinese restaraunt. We go a LOT! Anyhoo, I let the girls get chopsticks and "Play" trying to perfect eating with them. Hey you have to learn somehow right. Anyway, if DH was there he would have expected them to sit straight, arms in lap, get food eat with one hand other hand in the lap, don't slurp, don't belch, dont be a kid. etc. I don't let them belch and slurp but I DO LET THEM BE A KID.

So we do this a lot. One Sat, DH could go with us and we went to the Chinese restaraunt and DH blew a gasket because the girls got chopsticks and he was ranting about them not knowing how to use them and they are gonna make a huge mess. I leaned over while they were at the buffet and said. Let them be, just watch and if they make a mess, THEN you can go off on them. But watch and learn please. ........They come back and proceed to eat like nice young ladies and have perfect control of their chopsticks. I just looked at DH and gave him the raised eyebrow look ( see you dingbat I was right look). He took the cue and said WELL I guess I was wrong. Good job girls. I about fell out of my seat!
 
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When we lived closer to the inlaws we would have them sit for us like once every 4 to 6 months so we could go out to eat just the two of us. They watched the kids a couple times while we went to Vegas for the weekend. But we moved 1500 miles away 3 years ago and we can't do an overnighter or go to dinner. So what we do is go to lunch on special occasions while the kids are at school and we never tell them we did. Sure it would be nice to have an overnighter but it's not necessary at this point for us.
 
I only have two, we go out maybe 2X per month, but we live 8 miles N of one set of doting grandparents, and 10 mi S of the other set. My kids are my mom's only grandkids, so thats my Ace in the hole. DH's younger bro lives by us with they have two boys the same ages as our 2 boys. We do have to compete a bit to see who can call their parents first to get in if we are going to the same event... we dont even have a babysitter because the grandmas take the kids whenever we need (ok they do say no now and again, but we just stay home and play games with the kids in the yard or something then, who cares if we miss a dart tourney?--not me!) I would feel awful if I wanted to go do something and couldnt get anyone so called up my 2nd cousin or distant friend who I havent seen since last summer or whatever and said "so ya know..." I would tell anyone who did that to me "Sorry, no."....

I also have a 14yr old stepson who comes out every few weekends and he is more than happy to play nintendo and "babysit" after the kids are asleep (i wont let him watch them awake, too much bullying) we dont let him play nintendo unless he is sitting for us so he is ok with that.
 
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Just say no.

I wish I had of said no this past weekend. I got the great fortune of keeping ALL DAY AND NIGHT my step-son's SO's daughter while they went to a rock concert. They brought her with a nasty chest cold and now guess who's hacking and coughing with a nasty headache and a sore throat.

Just say no. I'll live by that in the future. People can be like stray cats. If you feed them once, they'll never go away.
 
While I understand the love of a good rock concert I would and have had to pass on going due to unexpected familiy priorities. Yep I lost money on the tickets and the fun of going but family comes first. That girl needs to grow up.
 
I don't see anything wrong with leaving your kids on occasion with someone you know well and trust. The problem was that you are not someone she knows well.

When my parents retired 2 years ago, they offered to take my kids every summer for 2 weeks (my boys are 13 and 15 now). The boys have a good time and I get some "off" time. Just being able to go somewhere and not have to think of anyone else is a luxury I really haven't had for most of my adult life. We all love those 2 weeks, and I feel not an iota of guilt about it. Now that the boys are older, we are enjoying the luxury of being able to go on errands together on the weekends, or to the coffee shop. Relationships must be nurtured and couples have to be able to enjoy being around each other by staying connected as a couple for it to last, the kids don't stay home forever. It's also healthy for Moms to have an identity outside of their kids. Sometimes that's just taking care of your animals or going on a walk by yourself. It doesn't mean that you aren't a dedicated parent.

I am an intelligent, vibrant woman with my own interests outside of my children. If I didn't take care of myself I would resent them. Plus, we are homeschooling, and I would go nuts if I didn't have some space now and then. Some people don't need that, I do. It doesn't mean that I am not "grown up".

Again, that couple's issue is that they were willing to leave their kids for an overnighter with people they don't know well, not that they were taking off together.
 

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