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How do you know that's true since you won't "allow" them to ask you? I think you're just a spoiled brat. You're free to think what you like about me, just no threats like you gave other people. That only shows you to be what I called you when you do that.
I'm not a spoiled brat. Its not so much when they ask me to do something, its more when they try and "force" me to do something. This morning my dad asked me to pick the rest of the bales from the field before they got home from town. And thats what I did, I was allowed to do it when I wanted to as long as it was done by a certain time. If he had just come up to me and told me to go out and do it NOW, no questions I would have had a problem with it.
A spoiled brat doesn't drive an old 1966 ford farm truck to school every day
Holly, you sound smart, and if you're getting your stuff done and getting A's that's all to your credit. You also sound stubborn, difficult, and ready to launch the big rockets at the slightest challenge to having it your way. and trust me, "leave me alone and let me do it my way or we go immediately to war" is spoiled - just not in the typical way. but perhaps "control freak" might be a more precise term.
so you know where this comes from, I was on my own at 15, straight A's and already graduated from HS, independent, stubborn, and ready to launch the big warheads... but not near as quick as you. I *hate* being told what to do and how to do it.
fair warning: figure out how to work for yourself.
because you're going to have a REAL problem when your boss tells you not only what to do, but how to do it, when to do it, and what to act like while you do it. if you can't tollerate even a little of that from your parents without going to war, how the heck are you going to manage when your boss, who unlike your parents doesn't care a fig about you, does that?
you are going to get fired a lot.
fair warning #2: while you're figuring out how to work for yourself, figure out how to do that without having customers.
because many of them are going to want to tell you how to do things, or when to do them too.
you are going to get fired by your customers a lot too.
BTW, I'm guessing that it's not that your parents respect you. its that when they cross you, you immediately hit the launch button and make their lives hell-on-earth until they get back in line. it's not respect, it's exhaustion.
fair warning #3: be prepared to live alone
because no man / woman / roomate / companion wants to live under the threat of all-out-war for violating your rules. however smart and independent and cool you may be, you're not worth that.
Ok, so before you think I'm just being a total jerk, let me just say I know these things are so from having been quite a bit like you. and I've got 37 years and many many many thousands of dollars in working with therapists between where I am now and where you are.
I'm also here to tell you that you can avoid having it all go like that. you could start with an appology to your parents for making them walk on eggshells around you. you could admit that you don't have control over your temper and that you could use a little help learning to be more flexible. you could hold off a second or two the next time you go to hit the laiunch button and consider if what they are asking for is really invasive and awful, or if you're just a bit overreactive and could consider being a tiny bit more accomodating and flexible. if your parents can't manage their end of the change in interaction between you, do it anyway. you have a lot of skills to acquire, it would be good to start now.
so I wonder, is it spoiled (I don't want to and you can't make me) or afraid (I can't tollerate the sensation of being controlled by someone else)?
If it's spoiled, you may want to go back and read the warnings again, and consider if it's the life you really want for yourself.
If it's fear, then I send you this:
. If being asked to comply with someone's else's wishes in detail, even someone you love and say you respect, causes you to need to defend yourself and deploy the scorched-earth tactics, some piece of you must be very frightened and insecure. I know this because it describes me. it took all those years and all that therapy to heal the damage enough to be able to make a liveable life.
It's not too far from the season... you could consider this "A Christmas Carol" with me playing the visitation of Christmas Future. regardless if it's selfishness or fear, Take Heed. you can change your path.
