Rude Teenage DS

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Awww... I luvs you too, Red!

(Although it is probably just as well that we don't live in the same place. The world might not be able to handle it!

)

 

[redhen]

Quote:

 

[HollyBird24]

My job is different then my personal life. I'm not unemployed, I do have a job and I'm not stupid enough to think that I can get away with whatever I want.

And yes, getting straight As does mean something. Like you said, my teachers don't particularily care if I pass or fail, they hand out assignments as they please and expect the student to do it and hand it in on a certain date. If I mouthed off to a teacher every time they asked me to do something, I wouldn't be a straight A student, I would be failing.

 

[zzGypsy]

Quote:
How do you know that's true since you won't "allow" them to ask you? I think you're just a spoiled brat. You're free to think what you like about me, just no threats like you gave other people. That only shows you to be what I called you when you do that.

I'm not a spoiled brat. Its not so much when they ask me to do something, its more when they try and "force" me to do something. This morning my dad asked me to pick the rest of the bales from the field before they got home from town. And thats what I did, I was allowed to do it when I wanted to as long as it was done by a certain time. If he had just come up to me and told me to go out and do it NOW, no questions I would have had a problem with it.

A spoiled brat doesn't drive an old 1966 ford farm truck to school every day

Holly, you sound smart, and if you're getting your stuff done and getting A's that's all to your credit. You also sound stubborn, difficult, and ready to launch the big rockets at the slightest challenge to having it your way. and trust me, "leave me alone and let me do it my way or we go immediately to war" is spoiled - just not in the typical way. but perhaps "control freak" might be a more precise term.

so you know where this comes from, I was on my own at 15, straight A's and already graduated from HS, independent, stubborn, and ready to launch the big warheads... but not near as quick as you. I *hate* being told what to do and how to do it.

fair warning: figure out how to work for yourself.

because you're going to have a REAL problem when your boss tells you not only what to do, but how to do it, when to do it, and what to act like while you do it. if you can't tollerate even a little of that from your parents without going to war, how the heck are you going to manage when your boss, who unlike your parents doesn't care a fig about you, does that?

you are going to get fired a lot.

fair warning #2: while you're figuring out how to work for yourself, figure out how to do that without having customers.

because many of them are going to want to tell you how to do things, or when to do them too.

you are going to get fired by your customers a lot too.

BTW, I'm guessing that it's not that your parents respect you. its that when they cross you, you immediately hit the launch button and make their lives hell-on-earth until they get back in line. it's not respect, it's exhaustion.

fair warning #3: be prepared to live alone

because no man / woman / roomate / companion wants to live under the threat of all-out-war for violating your rules. however smart and independent and cool you may be, you're not worth that.

Ok, so before you think I'm just being a total jerk, let me just say I know these things are so from having been quite a bit like you. and I've got 37 years and many many many thousands of dollars in working with therapists between where I am now and where you are.

I'm also here to tell you that you can avoid having it all go like that. you could start with an appology to your parents for making them walk on eggshells around you. you could admit that you don't have control over your temper and that you could use a little help learning to be more flexible. you could hold off a second or two the next time you go to hit the laiunch button and consider if what they are asking for is really invasive and awful, or if you're just a bit overreactive and could consider being a tiny bit more accomodating and flexible. if your parents can't manage their end of the change in interaction between you, do it anyway. you have a lot of skills to acquire, it would be good to start now.

so I wonder, is it spoiled (I don't want to and you can't make me) or afraid (I can't tollerate the sensation of being controlled by someone else)?

If it's spoiled, you may want to go back and read the warnings again, and consider if it's the life you really want for yourself.

If it's fear, then I send you this:

. If being asked to comply with someone's else's wishes in detail, even someone you love and say you respect, causes you to need to defend yourself and deploy the scorched-earth tactics, some piece of you must be very frightened and insecure. I know this because it describes me. it took all those years and all that therapy to heal the damage enough to be able to make a liveable life.

It's not too far from the season... you could consider this "A Christmas Carol" with me playing the visitation of Christmas Future. regardless if it's selfishness or fear, Take Heed. you can change your path.

 

[redhen]

Holly,
You're so young, yet you sound so bitter inside..
Like you have to "prove" how cool you are.. how "tough" you are.. how its your way or NO way... How "it's ON",..if someone gets you mad..
What happend to you so young to make you like that inside??...
It really IS sad..

I know you say you like yourself just the way you are, but us adults know that cant be true.. noone that truly likes themselves would act the way you do to others..

 

[sourland]

Redhen, City Girl, Gypsy - you guys rock. You speak good common sense without being nasty - wish that I could be that grown up. Maybe in the next 70 years.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Actually, Sourland, I speak from experience. I HATE being told what to do. It makes me want to bow up and go do exactly the opposite. While I knew better than to try that overtly with my parents I still tried it in subtle ways when I was a child. It was a hard row to hoe and caused me all manner of problems as I matured. I realize that Holly will likely think we are all stupid old farts and continue to do her thing (because she also hates to be told what to do), but it would be nice to save her some of the heartache and misery that I went through.

I find it very sad that her parents seem to have written her off. In hindsight I understand how much my parents loved me to force me to do things I didn't want to do. Teens today put to much credit behind being "respected" and not enough about earning that respect.

 

[maybejoey]

I was always so busy with chores and chickens and school and friends that I had no time for that stage in my life.

But I am am just weird.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Quote:
I have been out of school for almost 20 years now. In all of that time no one has every asked me about my GPA. What has mattered is my attitude, my work ethic and my response to my supervisors. Straight As means you have good raw material, the ability to study and a strong mind. It has nothing to do with what kind of person you are. In the end it matters more what kind of person you are than how smart you are.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
I agree, i am the MOST stubborn cuss there is ..

But still, theres a line you dont cross.. and it seems Hollys parents gave up/ have written her off , and didnt teach her those VERY valuable life lessons..
Thats just wicked sad..
And 100% agree on the last sentence also..