But what about when your son reaches adulthood and gets his first "job"? Everyone knows that he will be facing stress at that time, why not learn to help him deal with it, not by doing away with the homework?
You want to talk about stresses? My son and daughter were both physically and emotionally abused in an after-school daycare. Three times my son attempted suicide - the first one at age 11. Because this happened in "school", right after the incidents, both of my kids would shut down (I pulled them out of the big city schools and chose to drive them to a smaller community school) and not do their work even in class. Did we allow this to become an excuse? No, we worked with them, with their teachers and doctors to get them back to where they should be. That first year after, my daughter's teacher approached me about the possibility of holding her back a year. Did I agree to it even though my daughter was sad because she would be losing a lot of her friends - you betcha, as I view the schools to be a learning environment and not a social hour for kids. My daughter is now going into the 9th grade, straight A student and well adjusted. My son is going to be a junior, and while he is not a "book" smart as my daughter, he is made to do his homework, and at least maintain a "C" average. He is also made to follow the rules, as rules are put in place for usually a good reason. Could I have opted to place my son in a special classroom in the school for Emotionally Impaired children, where there are no rules, no structure, as they need to walk on eggshells around not only the children but the parents? Yes I could of. Did I? No, because what would that really teach my son? Is that going to teach him how to cope, how to be a productive member of society even when he is stressed? It is so much easier to teach them while they are young to be able to deal with stress than it is when they become an adult. Everyone has stress in their lives, everyone must learn how to deal with it. I found my son at age 11 trying to take his own life, we had a very, very rocky road ahead of us, but we approached it with a lot of love and trying to explain and show him how stressful everyone gets, especially when scared.
Today, my son is 16 and is an awesome young adult. While he is still nervous around adults, especially those in an position of authority, he has learned that not everyone is out to do him harm and he must give them a chance.
Children need structure, children need guidance, children need to have rules. If we as parents buck at these simple rules the schools have in place, what are we really teaching our kids? Are we going to follow them to their first jobs and take over at the first sign of stress are children are exhibiting or are we going to help them learn to cope?
