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Oh Kathy, my dear and precious friend!
I know exactly what you are experiencing. My [step] son, Dennis Jr. was diagnosed in 1986 at the tender age of 17. You're right! It is indeed a nightmare. One from which nobody in the nightmare gets to wake up from. Our boy was so bright and promising. And then he discovered illicit drugs and the heartbreaking results of recreational use thereof. Bad ones. And I still say to this day, that it was the illicit drugs that done him in.
Kathy, my heart is so reaching out to yours right now. I feel so badly for you. I know where you're at. I do know how heart breaking this is. You have my number, right? Just call me! ANY time, day or night! I don't give a good gosh darn what time it is, if you need me, I'm here! Just ten digit entries on your cell phone away!
Don't you dare hesitate to call me, OK? And don't be surprised if I call you at some point this weekend to check in on you and see how you're getting along.
Hang in there sweetie. It can, and often does, get better with medication. But you already know this, first hand, don't you!
But that doesn't change the here and now either, does it?
Oh my friend! I'm right here if you should need me.