Seriously, which would you choose?

[chixie]

I am in kind of the same situation with my DH... we do go out to eat a couple of times a month ..I choose to stay with him because I love him and I know things can be worked out...

 

[Buff Hooligans]

Quote:
Well, on a not so serious note, think of all the paperwork that separating/divorcing will cause!

 

[Hoosiermomma]

Quote:
I agree, men think as long as we are quiet, everything's fine. And it usually is - to them.

Let him know and see what he does with the new information. Give him time to digest it though. It will probably be a complete surprise to him.


(Yes I know, men are blind, dense, and yes, dumb!)

REALLY? They need to come up with an instruction manual for men and have that line alone, be in huge lettering and bold print with all the bells and whistles around it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[horsejody]

As a person who as been married forever, I will tell you that over the years you can fall in and out of love over and over again. Well, you actually always have an underlying love, but the romance part comes and goes. That's normal. Work at working it out.

 

[Hoosiermomma]

Quote:
I'm here if you want to talk..... I want to add one thing though. Don't lose yourself! Figure out what it is that you want. Talk to him about it, like the others suggested. If he's not a talker, put it down on paper and then give him time to respond. (You'll problably need to tell him you want a reply b/c he might just think you are giving him some 'food for thought.' ) If he doesn't reply then I think that in itself speaks volumes.

Sending some

your way.

 

[horsejody]

As a person who as been married forever, I will tell you that over the years you can fall in and out of love over and over again. Well, you actually always have an underlying love, but the romance part comes and goes. That's normal. Work at working it out.

 

[Frosty]

I think most marriages go through this stage. Think back to when you were dating and when you were newly weds. What attracted you to him? Does he still have those qualities?

I think at the beginning, both parties try harder during the chase. Reminds me of the saying 'when a woman is dating, she shaves her legs every day and prances around in a cute little teddy. After she gets married, she quits shaving her legs and is the teddy'. After you have been married for a while, the relationship changes but who we are is pretty much the same. I can only agree... talk to him. Men don't think like women. As long as all seems right in his world, he'll think that everything is alright. I would give him a chance, and sometimes you have to repeat that step. After talking to him, if you truly feel that you can't live like that, maybe it would be a kindness to set him free so that he can also find somebody compatible. But give him a chance first.

 

[MagsC]

I would try everything in the world first to get through to him but if I could not, well, then I would probably take the second choice.

 

[herefordlovinglady]

thank you everyone for your responses privately and on this thread. BYC Rocks.

 

[PaulaJoAnne]

Men need a little romance and TLC directed their way, far more then is thought.

Time to start slipping a card into his lunch, doing a little extra in regards to his laundry.
Leave a tiny love note in the underwear drawer.
Give him a backrub as he is falling asleep.
Cook meals that he really loves a bit more often.
Do not let him fend for himself
And do not expect anything in return, nor ask him what he thinks about any of it.
Just do it.

You might be surprised what a little TLC will do for the both of you.
He will truly start to look forward to time with you, and vice versa.

ETA: should have added...praise him in public. Don't make a scene, but drop little things about how wonderful he is at such and such around the farm.
Build him up.
He will start seeing the lady he fell in love years ago