Should I be feeling mad?

I think that guys share and show their love to their spouse completely different than they do their mother. Men, in general, are "Mamas boys". More than likely, he didn't know what you expected him to do to show you that he appreciated his gifts from you and the children.

The biggest tip I can give you, which I gave my SO, If you want something.. TELL HIM! Men are not mind readers, and usually do and/or do not do things to p---you off.

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I honestly think women over analyze things, and read so much into what men do. Men and women are completely different beasts.

The Difference Between Men and Woman

Let's say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six
months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together?
Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says. (There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"
 
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byrandom,
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I have personally had my husband gush over a good meal or a present he really liked, but then turn around a few months later and totally ignore me when I am sick or toss a mere thanks my way for a days worth of stuff I worked hard on.

So they definitely 'can' think like we do, when they 'want' to! They just get preoccupied (who knows on what...cars, bills, sports, food, etc), or don't feel like paying attention or going out of their way to be bothered when they would rather be doing something else.

Its a blatant lack of caring and shouldn't be tolerated whether its a man or woman doing it.

I know there are men out there that go out of their way to please their girlfriends or wives, just to have the women act like it was nothing special. Whoever you are, it hurts and its rude. If you do anything out of the ordinary for someone else, that person should be equally thankful. Not because you did it simply to get thanks, but because you put your heart and time into doing something for someone else and that deserves respect and appreciation.

Men don't get a pass on right and wrong, just because they can claim ignorance, different thought processes or people make excuses for them.
 
Cute story, byrandom. I'm not like that, but I have known drama queen friends that were.

I definitely agree though. Noone, man or woman, will know what is expected of them in a relationship if it isn't talked about. Speak up for what you want and expect and if that person can't give you what you need, find one that can. If you marry them knowing how they are, don't complain later, when they never change.
 
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I can only go by what the OP wrote. Your situation might very well be different.
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I am not certain, though, why you are equating being direct with a man with excusing bad behavior.
 
Men tend to assume that women know how they feel.
They think that surely by now you now how much they love and appreciate everything you do for them, and that if they were to verbally thank you for every wonderful thing you do for them, they would spend their lifetime thanking you instead of enjoying your company and the things you do for them.

This is how a man can get himself into the dog house and then ask "what did I do?" when the answer is so obvious to you.

Remember that men can take a 3 hour car ride without saying a word to each other and get out at their destination without wondering if any of his fellow rider are mad at him or something.
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If a man says he loves you and doesn't say it again for the next 20 years, it's because he already told you how he felt, and since the situation hasn't changed, he felt no need to repeat himself
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That being said, I wouldn't stay mad, but I would send him an email next year...LOL

"I know how much you loved the email from your mom, so thought I would send you one too. Happy Birthday honey!"
 
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Would your husband leave you on the side of the road to walk 4 miles in the rain? If he would then great, but if he's anything like my husband and wouldn't... well then that was kind of harsh. I personally wouldn't do that to my husband... but then every marriage is different and I don't have a clue what he was doing or saying, so I guess it's all a matter of perspective... on the other hand, without delving into it too deeply, that's pretty funny LOL

I didn't bore you with what started it all. and yes, if I acted like an immature donkey throwing a tantrum like his MOTHER, he would leave me at the side of the road and I would have deserved it.

However, I didn't pull over with the intent to leave him. I pulled over with the intent to calm him down. HE got out. So I left. He thinks it is pretty funny too....now.
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Ya I think some times guys just dont think.. I would be a bit bad to..

Maybe next year you should send him an email for his birthday.. And instead of cooking him a good meal.. Cleaning the house.. And saving enough water for him to soak in the tub.. I would just attach pictures of all the stuff you were going to do for him.. Then since he seemed to rather be alone instead of spend time with his family on his birthday.. Then maybe the family should give him that space and go out to dinner with out him.. Maybe get a tv dinner so he can fix him some thing to eat.. Then maybe he would get the hint..

I gave my guy a hint on what I wanted for valentines day.. I told him any thing he picked out for me I would just love it.. Because he picked it out for me.. I would have even liked just one flower.. Maybe picked out of a flower bed.. But no I got nothing..

I got him some thing.. It was a really neat tin with some really good chocolate truffles.. He loves those.. But after 4 days of not even opening my gift to him.. I opened it, at one, then gave the rest to the kids.. And he hasnt even asked about it..

Some times I wonder if guys would even notice if we were gone when they got home from work..
 

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