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small steps sweetie... thats great! Like Patandchickens said - they learn a bit slow
. Just remember to reciprocate the niceties - write him a love note in his lunch on a napkin - can be something as simple as "Hope you have a nice day today, Love, me" (I do this with my DH all the time) - I also leave him notes on the mirror in the morning. Something as simple that he does such as set the coffee pot so I dont have to in the morning just makes my heart sing - dumb to some..but...it tells me that he thought enough about me in his getting ready in the morning to take time out so that I wouldnt have to
. Then when I wake up in the morning (early, but not as early as he does at 4:30 a.m.) I wake up to the smell of coffee and just smile, knowing he thought of me and did something nice - especially since he doesnt drink coffee.
As I said in my other post (the first one I did way back when) take the time for not only YOURSELF, but for each other. Set a bed time for those precious kiddo's and spend that time together, doesnt matter if its 20 minutes or an hour - but do it. Go for a walk, sit on the floor, give each other a massage, ask him to paint your toes, ask him to wash your hair while you're 'sitting in the bathtub (now THAT is quite funny and amusing I assure you - my DH always says "Cant you wash your own? and I always reply with "yes..but...you do it so much better and....woo woo..ya get a free peep show
- he doesnt complain ROFL! *okay.. maybe a bit TMI there..but...eh.. whatever) - and chat bout the day - but NO VETCHING allowed. You can set aside a different time to complain, but not this special time to enjoy each other.
Pick him some wild flowers outside - could be a freaking dozen buttercups or pretty weeds LOL doesnt matter.... its the thought that counts
. Slow and steady. And if it seems like YOU are giving more at this point in time... sometimes honey, it will be like that in order for you to show him how to do it and what you need. In all of this - he may say No to many things - and thats okay... just remember that one day he'll feel bad about saying No to you all the time and the light will go on and he'll say "yes". When he finally see's what you are doing, it will dawn on him "hey.. she's been doing something nice for me for a while and I havent done much of anything....so I should do something nice for her." His lightbulb will go on... trust me. Might take a while ..but in this entire process (because it IS a process) dont ever say "well I wrote you notes, gave you flowers, etc etc etc.. and you've done nothing nice for me - all you've said is NO!) Thats just going backwards - and you dont want that. We're not keeping score here, okay? It will come.. just keep pushing forward and you'll see..it will all come to full circle and fruition - with time and effort, and not always fairly I might add. But the reward in the end is worth every bit of it.
You fell in love with each other once for a reason before kids came along, so fall in love all over again, with the kids now in your lives. They are a result of that love you had/have for one another, right?
Only you know what is right for you and your husband - as I said, this is just all of our opinions - and we're outside looking in based off of what you've written. Only you know your husband and yourself, so only you know what is right in your given situation.
Good luck sweetie...if you want this marriage to work, it will, but its alot of hard work.
small steps sweetie... thats great! Like Patandchickens said - they learn a bit slow
As I said in my other post (the first one I did way back when) take the time for not only YOURSELF, but for each other. Set a bed time for those precious kiddo's and spend that time together, doesnt matter if its 20 minutes or an hour - but do it. Go for a walk, sit on the floor, give each other a massage, ask him to paint your toes, ask him to wash your hair while you're 'sitting in the bathtub (now THAT is quite funny and amusing I assure you - my DH always says "Cant you wash your own? and I always reply with "yes..but...you do it so much better and....woo woo..ya get a free peep show
You fell in love with each other once for a reason before kids came along, so fall in love all over again, with the kids now in your lives. They are a result of that love you had/have for one another, right?
Only you know what is right for you and your husband - as I said, this is just all of our opinions - and we're outside looking in based off of what you've written. Only you know your husband and yourself, so only you know what is right in your given situation.
Good luck sweetie...if you want this marriage to work, it will, but its alot of hard work.
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