So what do I do now???

[chubbydog811]

Too bad you're not younger!!

Definitely not worth your trouble if she's putting you through that much...I would have drawn the line at the driving drunk, but that's just me...Then to totally push it, sleeping at her ex's....The way I always think of it, is whether they apologise or not, they did it once (as far as you know), and will most likely do it again...I broke up with a bf of 4 years this past spring...He was too much like his father, and didn't understand why I got ticked off. Think of how it would be to be married to said other

Hope you find what you are looking for in the long run though!

 

[TCollier]

What do you mean too bad I am not younger? I am a very young 43 and can keep up with anyone from 30 and up. Besides it has nothing to do with age. It is all about compatibility. Do you make each other happy and do you make each other complete.

 

[sourland]

I can't measure your level of committment. The next thing I say, I say as a recovering alcoholic. If you have any interest in continuing the relationship, lower the boom: Tell her "Get sober or get out." My wife dropped the hammer on me 18 years, one month, and 6 days ago. One of the biggest favors anyone has ever done me. You deserve better as did my wife. If people will admit to their addictions, they can get better. Good luck in whatever decision you make. You are also right age is not a factor. Compatability is! Life is too short to spend being unhappy.

 

[onthespot]

man 43 is perfect! You can go anywhere from twenties to sixties! The world is your harem! Just pick one and go... I personally wouldn't try to rehab your GF. I'd kick her to the curb and choose a better partner. You ain't married yet, so... cut your losses. Don't rush out to get another one, but for sure cut this one loose. You can tell her to look you up if she goes for treatment and FINISHES IT and stays sober x amt of months/years. With any chemical dependency, you spend the rest of your life waiting for the other shoe to fall. Do you want to live that way? I wouldn't. If you didn't live so far, I'd at least show you some fun things to do and nice places to meet people if you lived near by.

 

[cassie]

Just cut your losses. She ain't worth it. It could be worse. You could be married to her.......

 

[CoyoteMagic]

Quote:

Me too.Got out of drugs only to end up on the bottle. I pulled myself out of that hole and told DH he had the choice. Snuggle with me or snuggle with the bottle. We've been married 17 years.


T----30 and up sounds good to me. Much younger than that and ya'll wouldn't really have much in common. My neices and nephews are 12-20years younger than me (all but 1 in their 30's) I don't understand half the stuff they talk about, TV, Music,etc..................

 

[PineappleMama]

I wouldn't leave her things on the porch, I'd take them over to her Dad's, Friend's, Her Son's or even the Ex's... since she doesn't seem to have a vehicle then coordinating to get one could be used to drag out this mess.

Other than that I agree with the others. Pack it Up, Ship it Out, and Change the Locks... no telling how many copies she might have or even may have passed on to others and it's WAY better safe than sorry when dealing with someone this unpredictable.

Also there can be no drama with regards to you stealing or otherwise destroying her property if you entrust it to HER family/friends. They want to encourage this behavior then THEY can deal with the effects.

and hopes you'll find a lady that will take you as you are and be delighted to do so.

 

[CityChicker]

You know how many women are probably reading this thread thinking- Hmmm...I wonder if I would like living in Butler Country, Ohio.... LOL.

Anyway, sad situation. I would feel really sad for her, but you have to move on. I, personally, cannot tolerate drinkers. Especially drinkers that get out of control and combative or do things like disappear all night and sleep at their ex's. You just can't tolerate or be in a relationship with someone that is in that place. Again, I feel sorry for her because she has obviously had it hard, but that is not your fault (and of course, I feel even sorrier for you, than her).

It sounds like she probably has some real serious self-esteem issues. I have dealt with people like that before as well. One of my friend's that is a Psychologist/Social worker explained to me one day that you can't be kind to a person in that place. They won't respect you. They feel so badly about themselves, they can't respect anyone that tries to show them love and kindness. As far as I see it, you can either end it with her and move on (perfectly understandable) or you can lay it on the line with her and say the drinking stops immediately and she gets help or your gone. If she is not at that point, I would not bother with her. I would pack her up and get on with your life.

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

What's the weather like in Butler County, Ohio?

But seriously,

and I'm sorry... Some women just don't know how lucky they have it. I just can't imagine throwing all of that away...

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

As a single 40-something I will wholeheartedly agree with the "dump her" suggestions. There are so many of us that are drama free that there is really no reason to put up with one that would cheat on you. It's like aggressive roosters. Why would you keep a hateful one? There are too many nice ones to pick from to put up with stupid ones.

Just my 2 cents...

(And trust me, if you were anywhere near middle TN I would want to get to know you. A nice guy that likes chickens and gets this obsession? Priceless!)