Sometimes I just get sick of it all.

[Fierlin1182]

You know how it is, with life. A million good things happening around you all the time, and hardly any of them seem to waft their way in your direction.

Shall I begin with the fact that people talk about me behind my back? I don't usually care, but recently my friends have been distant and I get the feeling that if I vanished from the face of the earth, nobody would care at all. Maybe they could be sick of it all as well. We're a weird group, and I'm no. 1 social reject out of all of us. Even the others are managing to make some "normal" friends.

Then, there's the whole drama about my career dreams, which are NEVER going to come true. In assembly today, the head of senior school said that she bet in three years time one of us was going to call up and say they'd become a [insert job here]. That made me sad, because it could have been any of the other gals except me.

I'm also very annoyed right now because people so love to take advantage of me. They suck up to me and say things like "OMG! I love you!" and "OMG! You're so smart and cool!", all these things they don't mean, just so they can try to glean some favour off me. Because I am pretty smart. They all want me to do their work for them. I don't. I learned ages ago that none of them ever uphold their end of the deal e.g. You do this for me, and I'll buy you this.

It's just sad that the only people who appreciate me for my company are starting to forget all about me.
Next year, both of my best friends at school are doing the SACE, while I'm doing the IB, and we're all going to be in different classes anyway. Just goes to show how freaking WEIRD I am. Most of the gals doing IB with me are either people I've been "friends" with before and who let me down, or the ultra-popular people who say things like "OMG! I love you!" and "OMG! You're so smart and cool!"

Sometimes I think people take too much effort. I prefer to do things alone, but sometimes I get lonely. Talking to other people besides my friends makes me tired.
I've been tired and sick this past week. Listen to me go.

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

 

[Fierlin1182]

And I think I'll continue with my miserable warbling.

It really bugs me how some people never let things go.
I've had my fair share of crappy behaviour directed at me in the past. It sucks for a while, but the point is you let things go.
Sometimes they were right and I was the one being a moron. So I took on board their words and tried hard not to stuff up again, lots of this indirect advice has helped me to become a better person.
Other times they were just being unreasonable, so instead of getting into a fuss about it I tried to say something nice, back down and let them go on with whatever it was. This has happened to me with a particular person at school, who a couple of years ago was just out to get me for the heck of it, now she looks up to me and tries to be civil. Maybe it was my attitude, I don't have a clue.
I try not to hold any grudges. There's a quote from Pride and Prejudice (oh my sweet lord, one of the quotes has sunk in, exams in four days and I couldn't remember a sodding thing before today) that says "I once heard that you never forgave. Don't allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice."
The girl who used to pick on me has changed. I can see that, so now we get on.
People who can only see me for who I used to be really make me SAD.
Just a few unwise words of thought.

Oh, and there's also the fact that there's been a total breakdown in communication within my family recently. Nobody knows who is where, who has the car keys, who has the car, how we're all going to get home (going to be stuck here for another two bleeding hours and I'm hungry.)
Did I mention my nose is blocked up, I can't breathe, and I've got a terrible headache? Oh well, at least I have music to listen to and the internet.

Small reprive.

 

[Fierlin1182]

I might practise the quotes I need while I'm here talking to myself like the sad person I think I may be becoming.

- "It was Lady Catherine's unjustifiable endeavors to separate us that were the means of removing all my doubt."

- "His pride does not offend me so much, because there is an excuse for it."

- "That his actions were what Wickham represented them to be, so gross a violation of everything right... was incomprehensible."

- "Mr. Collins listened to Elizabeth with the determined air of following his own inclination."

- "The general prejudice against Mr. Darcy was so great that it would be the death of half the good people in Meryton to try to place him in an amiable light."

I swear there were another couple.

Oh well, five without looking at my sheet is much better than how I was doing yesterday.

Now, onto the next book.

- "There was so much suffering in Botswana that it was tempting to close your eyes and walk away. But you can't, Mma Ramostwe though. You just can't."

- "Most people collapsed when confronted with the truth. Very, very few can brave it out."

- "Detecting was just a simple process of listing out the likely sources and seeking them out. That didn't take much doing."

- (something I forgot) "... relies more on human ingenuity and intelligence, both of which she had in abundance."

- "The losing of a child, something like that, could be the undoing of one's life."

- "Some people, some men, thought that women were weak and could be twisted this way and that."

- "Do you think a woman can be a private detective? Do you really think that?" How dare he say that about women!

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

(Psst, I'm lurking.

)

 

[Fierlin1182]

Hey dudette

This is a very interesting monologue I appear to be partaking in.
Making very long, self-sabotaging posts appears to be my forte tonight. Sorry if I'm depressing you all out.

I'm very proud of all the quotes I managed to dig out of the depths of those two EVER SO BORING novels we have spent all year trudging through.
IMO, poetry was a lot more interesting. I'm getting my teacher to refer me to some poetry competitions. I've written a lot of crappy rhymes, but who knows.
That way, perhaps I can win some money while I desperately need right now otherwise I'm going to be stuck for the rest of my life in a tedious job in the banking sector.

 

[Fierlin1182]

Although I can't say I would be too bad at that. Maths IS actually one of my fortes. Numbers are easy for me, words not so much. I write heaps most of the time (a few of you may have heard of the Riveting attempt at humorous account of life in the 2000s I've been working on) but I tend to go off on a tangent and my efforts at analysing and reflection writing leave much to be desired. "Going off on a tangent" would be an understatement. Here's what I managed to eke out for a recent reflection of the importance of OH&S.

This abbreviation means "Occupational Health and Safety". I'm sure we're all very familiar with the phrase "Occupational health and safety hazard." As in, "OMG, I swear our boss's facial hair is an occupational health and safety hazard!!!" *runs for the boons* However, we're looking at for the purpose of this exercise at a more formal approach, such as exposure to dangerous chemicals and lifting heavy objects. I didn't find the OH&S video we were shown THAT Riveting, but I honestly didn't find it Boreeing either... (I'm sorry, I CAN'T stop using that joke. Ask someone who's ever flown into Kingsford-Smith.)
The thing is, next year, we're all going to have to undertake work experience, in which OH&S, as emphasised several hundred times by the woman in the video, plays a very important part. "Know your rights" and all that.
Picking a work experience placement which is in line with my interests? Mr. JFK got fired when he let his kid direct traffic and Aeroflot 593 crashed with no survivors when the pilot's kid accidentally disabled the autopilot. And also, I've gone a bit off mining now since we went to Sydders and I did the induction to the virtual mines experience with my father, which was cramped, dank, and the guy showing us the software decided to make things interesting by setting one of the pieces of equipment on fire and making us run for the exit which we couldn't see because of the smoke.
I would, however, like to do a week in the steel mills. We also did the Port Kembla steelworks tour and I thought it was awesome. The bars getting rolled into coils! Cutting the bars with blow torches or something of the like! The company boasting about the endangered species of frog on site they could add to their assets to boast about! (*Tour guide quickly draws attention away from Blast Furnace No. 6, which is due to be closed down*) I would totally have gone and promptly bought a few shares in Bluescope, except that sector is in a particularly ailing state right now and I wouldn't want to waste my hard earned fake dollars (Thanks, Flight centre!!!

). I blame Julia Gillard and China.

Anyhow, back to OH&S. We need to be aware of such things as:
- Exposure to dangerous chemicals
- Lifting heavy objects
- Workplace harassment
- Loud noises that could damage the ear
- Slippery surfaces, especially while walking carrying trays of dangerous chemicals that count as an extremely heavy object
- Dangerous equipment and making sure it is used in the correct manner

There are more. I'll ask my classmates next lesson.

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

ray's two cents :

Hey dudette

This is a very interesting monologue I appear to be partaking in.
Making very long, self-sabotaging posts appears to be my forte tonight. Sorry if I'm depressing you all out.

I'm very proud of all the quotes I managed to dig out of the depths of those two EVER SO BORING novels we have spent all year trudging through.
IMO, poetry was a lot more interesting. I'm getting my teacher to refer me to some poetry competitions. I've written a lot of crappy rhymes, but who knows.
That way, perhaps I can win some money while I desperately need right now otherwise I'm going to be stuck for the rest of my life in a tedious job in the banking sector.

You ain't depressin' me out.

Cool. :3 I enjoy poetry myself.​

 

[Fierlin1182]

Quote:
You ain't depressin' me out.

Cool. :3 I enjoy poetry myself.

Well, thank heavens for that!

I feel a little less bummed out now.

I write really long poems. Usually depicting some true story that I know well, I make them rhyme.

 

[Zinnia-Hen]

ray's two cents :

Although I can't say I would be too bad at that. Maths IS actually one of my fortes. Numbers are easy for me, words not so much. I write heaps most of the time (a few of you may have heard of the Riveting attempt at humorous account of life in the 2000s I've been working on) but I tend to go off on a tangent and my efforts at analysing and reflection writing leave much to be desired. "Going off on a tangent" would be an understatement. Here's what I managed to eke out for a recent reflection of the importance of OH&S.

This abbreviation means "Occupational Health and Safety". I'm sure we're all very familiar with the phrase "Occupational health and safety hazard." As in, "OMG, I swear our boss's facial hair is an occupational health and safety hazard!!!" *runs for the boons* However, we're looking at for the purpose of this exercise at a more formal approach, such as exposure to dangerous chemicals and lifting heavy objects. I didn't find the OH&S video we were shown THAT Riveting, but I honestly didn't find it Boreeing either... (I'm sorry, I CAN'T stop using that joke. Ask someone who's ever flown into Kingsford-Smith.)
The thing is, next year, we're all going to have to undertake work experience, in which OH&S, as emphasised several hundred times by the woman in the video, plays a very important part. "Know your rights" and all that.
Picking a work experience placement which is in line with my interests? Mr. JFK got fired when he let his kid direct traffic and Aeroflot 593 crashed with no survivors when the pilot's kid accidentally disabled the autopilot. And also, I've gone a bit off mining now since we went to Sydders and I did the induction to the virtual mines experience with my father, which was cramped, dank, and the guy showing us the software decided to make things interesting by setting one of the pieces of equipment on fire and making us run for the exit which we couldn't see because of the smoke.
I would, however, like to do a week in the steel mills. We also did the Port Kembla steelworks tour and I thought it was awesome. The bars getting rolled into coils! Cutting the bars with blow torches or something of the like! The company boasting about the endangered species of frog on site they could add to their assets to boast about! (*Tour guide quickly draws attention away from Blast Furnace No. 6, which is due to be closed down*) I would totally have gone and promptly bought a few shares in Bluescope, except that sector is in a particularly ailing state right now and I wouldn't want to waste my hard earned fake dollars (Thanks, Flight centre!!!

). I blame Julia Gillard and China.

Anyhow, back to OH&S. We need to be aware of such things as:
- Exposure to dangerous chemicals
- Lifting heavy objects
- Workplace harassment
- Loud noises that could damage the ear
- Slippery surfaces, especially while walking carrying trays of dangerous chemicals that count as an extremely heavy object
- Dangerous equipment and making sure it is used in the correct manner

There are more. I'll ask my classmates next lesson.

I'm the opposite.

I cannot do math without looking like an idiot, and sometimes even the simple stuff gets me at times. At least I have the basics down and I figure that's all I'll need because I won't choose a math related career. Writing however, I enjoy and don't find hard at all.

That's good you're good at math though.

It's an important skill.
You're a great writer too.​