Somewhat personal question for parents...

[FutureChickenMan]

Quote:
I'm not a parent yet, but I've helped raise 7 nieces and nephews and the answer to your question is.. NO 2 is not too young. Parenting and dicipline starts at birth. You are the "boss" (lousy word for it but it works) and that needs to be established early and periodically reinforced. You did the right thing don't worry.

 

[picklespickles]

omg. as a being here on planet earth, PLEASE do not stop disciplining your two year old. no kids, but i gotta be around them everyday in the store, on the street, etc.

thanks for being a good parent. my intact mail box, unstolen stereo and eardrums thank you, too.

 

[Chickadee28]

Putting her in time out was the perfect thing to do, 2 minutes is what I do for my two year old. I don't spank either, the only time I "lost it" was when we were in a parking lot and he took off. I was scared to death and swatted his butt. I think my voice and the look on my face scared him more than the swats. He probably didn't feel much with a diaper on anyway..

 

[Poison Ivy]

I started time outs with my kids around 15 months old. It would be for a minute and then they could get down. But I also made sure they weren't allowed to run around in a store or doctors office. No getting out of your seat in a resturant. My kids also knew if I said 1, 2 they better get moving. And they knew by time I said 3 it was to late. I follow through with the time limits if I ground them. I found out from watching my sister grow up that if she whined enough she got out of being grounded. She was a brat growing up. My kids know I mean business and I've only had to spank them a couple times over a span of 14 years for my son and 9 for my daughter. I have friends who's kids I don't want in my house because they are terrible. I don't mind telling the kids in front of the parents that they better behave in my house.

 

[firechicken]

Quote:
I agree completely. The naughty spot or, whatever you call it, is way better then their room. I heard somewhere that a minute per year of age is about right for time out. I personally start off there but will add time for misbehaving while in timeout.

Most importantly,what I have learned is that consistency is the key. I know if I let something slide one time with my 6 y.o. son, then he will become a "repeat offender" as I call it.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Your playgroup friend is a lazy parent. Disciplining her child is a hassle so instead of doing it right she won't do it at all. An 18 month old should know what no means, and time out for two year olds is perfect. I think your approach is actually what most "experts" like. You removed her from the situation, put her someplace boring, and let her go when her time was up. Your playgroup buddies are going to have a fun time trying to start disciplining when the kid is 5. I feel a swat is called for occasionally, mostly when what they are doing is dangeous to themselves or others. I think every parent has done the relief spank..."thank god you didn't die, now I'm gonna kill you". My boys are 6 and almost 10. They are mostly good kids, and know how to behave. They are doing home work now, they just got yelled at for fighting, and we'll be putting the eggs in the 'bator when they are done.

My older son's play group was great for me and him. When I had him, I didn't really know anyone in the neighborhood, and certainly no-one with small children. I ran an ad in the neighborhood news letter to start a playgroup, and now nine years later, some of these women are my best friends. A playgroup dad coaches both my kids soccer teams, and we all get together fairly often. At our soccer party I mentioned to one of the newer parents how long I had known Coach Michael, and she said that explains alot. Evidently coach yells at my kid just like he does his own son.

Don't doubt yourself, your parenting instincts are probably right.

 

[tiffanyh]

If this mother put her kid in time out for 15 minutes in his room, first of course he trashed it, he is a kid, second, 15 minutes is too long, IMHO.

I have a 2.5 and 4.5 year old. I do time outs, would rather not spank but I am not opposed to it completely. Most people here were raised an a butt swat occasionally and did okay.

You handle your daughter how you see fit. Every kid is different and if she respose well to that that GREAT that you have something that works.

 

[gritsar]

I see we are all pretty much in agreement on child discipline here. Do I need to tell y'all how common it is for parents of out of control 10 - 18 year olds to call the police and want them to handle the results of their mistakes for them? Then the police officer (who could be doing something better, more constructive) has to try and talk to a surly kid stading in front of them in designer clothes, $200 sneakers, and ipod ear buds that they don't have enough respect for authority to take out of their ears. My SO is a cop with 26 years on the force. His response to the parents that want him to handle the problems they created with lack of discipline and spoiling? "Did you call the police because you need me to demonstrate to you how to spank a child?" Then there are the kids that actually call the police because their parent spanked them and they were taught at school that they have rights and no one is allowed to spank them. Oh please, I'll shut up now.

 

[johnnyjack]

as a father of 5 i say 2 is fine if not sooner.i feel like thats whats wrong with kids now days not enough discipline.ya know usualy after they get punished they will say i love ya daddy, they know ur trying to help but if ya let them go to long with out punishment they think ur mean.jmo

 

[TransplantedTexan]

I apologize that this is so long, but it's a topic that is near to my heart.
1rst on spanking -
I got spankings my entire childhood. From what I have been told by the folks this was the case even when I was a toddler, though I don't remember that. Thus I think it does no harm to spank a child, even at that age. When I was older the spankings continued. Some times they were from mom, sometimes from dad. My folks were always united on this decision, and on the offenses that merited spanking. They never spanked in anger. It always involved a process like this -
I was told, "Go to your room and consider what you have done, and the reasons why you should not have done this."
This time was used by my parents to cool off, and cement in their minds the purpose of spanking. They never spanked in anger. Then I was called into their room, not spanked in front of my siblings, as this can be demoralizing. Before the spanking a discussion ensued as to what I had came up with while in my room,and what their reasoning was behind the discipline. This usually invovled biblical principles, i.e reasons what I did was wrong/spare the rod - spoil the child.
I think I profited from this process.
As to the time out, I feel that this is entirely appropriate.
I have a ten year old daughter. My ex wife and I did not see eye to eye on discipline. We split up when my daughter was almost three. This was not the major factor in our split, the major factor was some "indescretions" on my wifes part.
While we were together the ex would let my Daughter run around the(insert place) like a little banshee. I would step in and try appropriate discipline, like scolding, time out what ever. Being a male, and having a girl I did not feel comfortable spanking her in todays society, but the discipline was there never the less. This always ended up in an arguement over child rearing techniques, basicly my techniques as she really did not have any. After the split, things changed. I was finally free to do my DUTY, and TEACH my child. She would be sent to her room with a scolding. This was severe enough for her, as she would usually be very upset with the fact that she had disappointed me and was getting scolded and would cry. Most of the time she would throw a fit, and start crying, the usual. After a few minutes I would go to reteieve her. If she was still throwing her little crying fit I would tell her she was free to come out, WHEN SHE WAS READY TO ACT RIGHT AND KNOCK IT OF WITH THE TANTRUM. A few minutes later she would dry it up, come out of her room, and apologize. This was always followed up by big hugs lots of love. As I stated she is ten now, and very well behaved.
Be aware that kids, even young ones can tell the difference between the two styles I have mentioned. My ex and I share placement 50/50. She is with the ex one week, and me the next. I can already see that my daughter has far more respect for me than her mom, though I never foster disrespect for her mother. I encourage her to respect her mom, simply because she is her mom. This is hard to do, because her mom is still the same way, but I feel it is necassary because she is her mother. That being said I know that she does not really respct her mother as she does me due to things that my duaghter alliterates. She talks of her mothers inconsistancies.
She know she can get away with certain things with her mom that she herself knows are wrong. She talks of things that her mom does get after her about. These things are usually trivial, and she states it that way. She realizes that she is getting in trouble for things that simply irritate my ex, not things that are important, and that the important things are not addressed. When my ex, who was a spoiled child and still is a spoiled adult, acts out with me my daughter asks me " Why does mom have to act that way?"
Don't think that a young child doesn't pick up on these things. Do start young TEACHING your child at a young age.
Discipline = teaching.
The mother that you spoke of who allowed her child to "thrash" his room while he was on time out is teaching that kid that he can do what ever he wants, whenever he wants, and if some one trys to stop him he can get his way by throwing a collosul fit.
He will be lucky if he doesn't end up in prison. If he doesn't, he will definatly be some one no one wants to be around.