Somewhat personal question for parents...

[crazy4chicsinBC]

Angie
your doing the right thing you sound like a wonderful mom with great parenting skills!!!

 

[SeaChick]

Hi Angie-
I didn't read the rest of the responses as I am short on time but just wanted to say I don't think it's too young at all. Since she understands what is going on, it's appropriate IMHO. We used "time outs" with Olivia (as well as a "warning" system of counting to 5 slowly to give her time to stop whatever bad behavior she was doing before getting the time out) from about that age. Personally I am appalled at the amount of horrendous behavior some kids get away with. Oliva has always been stubborn and willful and "difficult" (as well as brilliant and kind and creative, of course) and effective punishments were really necessary. Time Outs work great for a while, and then we had to start witholding priveleges.
Good luck, you daughter is precious.
Best
Stacey

 

[Kentucky~Momma]

Here at our home, our 18 month old knows what it means when he is in his corner. We have a corner in the living room that is the designated "naughty spot". It is used for both boys. I do not send them to their room, because I do not want their room to be a place of punishment. Their room is for sleeping only. Their toys are not in there either for that matter. But I definitely do not think that 2 is too young to punish. I also go by the rule of a minute for every year they are old. They are to stay in their spot until they are "released". They also get time added if they do not stay put. My when my four year old is way out of line, he has to stand in the corner with his nose to the wall with his arms fully extended and palms of his hands completely flat against the wall. That is only used when he is in really big trouble, or won't stay put when he is placed in his spot.

I also am a firm believer in spankings. They are only given out when they are doing the worst possible things: not listening when they are in a dangerous situation, such as parking lot, getting to close to the road, playing with outlets with things plugged in, etc. They are not given for the smaller stuff. I won't spank in frustration either, and I will tell them why they got spanked as well. I am one who is not ashamed to spank my kids in a store either. For instance my son was standing next to the cart at walmart and decided to run off. He made a mad dash for the exit door. He is four, he knew that was wrong, and did not stop when I yelled after him. The greeter stopped my son before he reached the door, and when I got caught up to him, I had the baby with as well, he did get spanked. I got a very mixed response. It was explained to him why it was happening, and there was a debate right there in walmart between the other customers. I was yelled at, and I simply looked at the woman and told her that unless she wanted to raise our six kids, she needed to shut her mouth. I also have to add that 99% of the time they are all very well behaved, but there are the days they get a wild hair up their hiney, and it needs to be addressed.

I know that was a bit of a ramble so I hope it helps.

~Kentucky

 

[Reinbeau]

Quote:
Well, to be honest I've only spanked her once and I hope to never do it again. We live on a very fast road, and one day this past spring, she thought it would be funny to run off. She ran up the driveway towards the road and I was screaming stop! Of course she was just laughing. Well I just about had a heart attack but I caught her just about 10 feet from the road. I was so angry and scared too death, that I lost control and I just spanked her 3 times on the butt. I immediately felt so bad and so upset.

Just to see the look on her face after I did that, she didn't know why I did it. It came out of anger and she was scared of me. I don't want her to be scared of me, I want her to respect my rules. I hope I never lose it like that again, because I don't think it taught her anything but to be scared. JMHO

Angie, the exact same scenario happened down here 21 years ago. My two year old son at the time was a real handful. We also live on a very busy road and he did the same thing, laughing all the way. I reacted just as you did, I gave him two good whacks on the (diapered) behind. He was shocked! But you know what? That's life or death. They've got to learn. And he never, ever did it again. Did I feel guilty? Not really. I felt happy I had a child that was still alive. Does that mean I advocate beating children? No, not at all. To me a spanking is the very top of the discipline chain, only used when in situations such as we have experienced.

Edited to add: Ask me how I handled the 15 year old who dropped the F bomb on me.....he did that once, too!

 

[hsm5grls]

Quote:
That is exactly the kind of parent and aunt I am. Everyone in my house must behave, I don't care who they are. I start disciplining as soon as they learn the word NO. I don't spank them at that age or put them in time out but I remove them from the no object or take the no object from them. It is not just kids who need a little discipline and respect I know a few adults who could use some. It is about respect and self control and it is never too early or late to learn that.

Oh and if you follow through with the 1..2...3 thing it really works. lol

 

[anniemyth]

There is a book one of my son's doctor's recommended. It is called 1,2,3 Magic and it gives good rules for "time outs". I think it is a good recommendation for you as well. No negotiations, no anger, they get a 3 strikes and they are in "time out" for as many years as they are old. However, there are situations where it is an instant "time out" hiting, biting, touching the stove and such. and time out starts when they calm down (as if they have a tantrum during it or something)

My son has some form of autistim spectrum disorder so he is behind in development, his speech and motor skills are at a 2year old level even tho he is 4 now, and I believe 4 minutes is too long for him to be in time out. He gets 2 minutes.

 

[SpottedCrow]

I agree with how you handled it also.
I was spanked as a child, be it a slipper, a dinghy oar or a wooden spoon...You KNEW you had to be good or you'd be dead...
My DS is now 14. A couple of years ago, he got mad at me for something and took a swing at me..this is what I told him.
#1 you don't hit a girl, no matter how PO'd you are
#2 you darn well better make sure that I don't get up if you did connect, because when I get up, what's left of you will be placed in a small ziploc bag...

Of course, I had him up against the wall by his collar and on his tippy toes...

We did time out with him too. He's stubborn and brilliant also. He's too much like me so we have a tendency to butt heads ALOT!
He did the room trashing and I'd put him back in and let him stew in his mess...when he'd calmed down, HE'd put his things back or if he didn't he got to sleep in a ripped apart bed.
Bedrooms are no place for time outs...there's too much good stuff in them.
Most of the time he'd think about what he'd done and come down and apologize.

 

[McGoo]

Great Job. Keep up the good work. And consistancy is also very important. Don't think twice about what the other moms are not doing, you are absolutely doing the right thing for her.

I'm a grandma now and my DS and DIL do exactly the same thing (time out - wherever works at the time) that you're talking about. My little GS understands and has learned very well. He's 3 now.

It's sometimes sooo hard, but it will pay off and your daughter will be so much better adjusted.

Hang in there all you moms! It's a tough job.

 

[Pinenot]

I don't believe 2 is to young. I was potty training as soon as they were two and they all understood potty! I have 3 children ranging from 7-13 and they knew how to manipulate by two. Soooo, no 2 is not to young. They knew what the word No meant too!
I do 1,2, 3 strikes and your out. If I have to do 3, you're out, they go to bed for the rest of the day. I have NEVER had to give a strike 3. They know I am not a push over and they learned that early.

We have only one chance to do it right and you're doing great!

 

[gritsar]

Edited to add: Ask me how I handled the 15 year old who dropped the F bomb on me.....he did that once, too!

Ann (Reinbeau)...did it involve a rather large bottle of liquid soap?