soon to be 19 yr old DD just told me.........UPdate.......post1

[scbatz33]

Get her a dog or a cat. Sometimes girls at that age want something to hold on to so badly they think having a baby will fix it.

The GOOD thing is she told you. Which means, I'd bet, she is looking for you for guidance. Tell her to wait, tell her to volunteer at a hospital baby ward, tell her to go work at a day care. Babies are hard work as we all know.

At 19, it's stiffling. I had my first at 19 and my second at 21. I'm still struggling 16 years later!

Also, reminder - REPEATEDLY - having ababy WILL NOT fix whatever situation she has with the boyfriend NO MATTER WHAT. My stupid 32 year old sister just had a baby with her 5 year long relationship boyfriend and she is STILL crying to me about how he's talking to other girls, he doens't respect her feelings, blah blah blah. I told her it wouldn't change anything and now the baby has to grow up with it.

Sometimes girls are really stupid. We moms have to find a way to help them see that. Good luck!

 

[chixie]

Quote:
she has a job and so does her boyfriend. and she is finishing up her schooling now. she is doing her internship now. she is stable.I just wish she would wait. and she knows that I will help. and she knows a baby will change her life forever. she has seen it first hand. I plan on talking to her more.

 

[scbatz33]

Quote:
Are they ready to be married? If she says no, then ask her why she thinks a baby is any less of a commitment than marriage? I have never understood that logic. How people think having a baby together is less work, less drama, less financially, emotionally or physically involved than being commited for life.

Tell her dad. He deserves to know. maybe he can get her to wait.

 

[chixie]

Quote:
she works in a day care...

 

[prov31gal]

why dont they get married first? if they want to, and feel ready to have a baby, and they are already living together, then why dont they just get married? it would seem the logical first step. ill bet you anything HE doesnt want to get married. if they cant commit to a marriage, then why think of having a baby?

 

[chixie]

actually it's my daughter who doesn't want to get married. he has been wanting to marry her for awhile. Not sure of her logic. I married her father 3 months after she was born. Her boyfriend spoils her. And we love him alot. He has been good for her. I just don't understand why they won't wait on a baby. I know they will both be great parents. I have seen him interact with my nephew( his father died before he was a year old) and he plays foot ball with him. He is an awesome guy. he has been on several trips with us when My DH was out of town and he would ride with us so Me and my daughters wouldn't be traveling alone on long trips.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Make a poll on here for anyone who had a child under the age of 21 and would they do it again - show her the results.......

 

[RachelFromTheBlackLagoon]

Yikes. I'm 25 and, though I don't ever want children, I couldn't imagine being ready for a kid now, nevermind at 19! You're fresh out of high school and your life is just beginning! I hope she reconsiders.

 

[b.hromada]

Quote:
Thats right.

 

[Fraurloth]

"Are they ready to be married? If she says no, then ask her why she thinks a baby is any less of a commitment than marriage? I have never understood that logic. How people think having a baby together is less work, less drama, less financially, emotionally or physically involved than being commited for life."

I completely agree with this statement. Whatever happened to marriage first, then baby? Seems like less and less people have respect for marriage, fidelity, love, and trust.

If your daughter is gungho on having a baby, you should consider talking to her about marriage. Good luck.