SOOOOOO stinkin mad at my daughter I could spit nails!

[debilorrah]

Last January, we gave all three kids an ultimatum: get in school, get a job or get out. Kenny got out AND got a job

Brandon is in school full time with a 4.0 GPA. Sara however, has sat on her butt for this entire time.

So, I got her a job. A full time job with full benefits. I mean FULL benefits: sick, vacation, 401(k), deferred compensation, holidays, floating holidays, etc. So she is sent to drug test, like everyone is. First time, she flushes - signs galore DONT FLUSH. She drinks a ton of water, pees again, can't fill it.

Yesterday she goes in with SOMEONE ELSES PEE!!!! They tell her it is cold, someone needs to go with you to the restroom. She says, never mind, I won't pass anyways.

Deep breath.

Then she calls the hiring manager, telling her "I never knew I would have to go through all this and I have things to do!" And she left.

<--- not good enough

<---- not strong enough

<----- Not even CLOSE to what I feel today. Yes it has been 24 hours and I am STILL so angry. She knows better than to come home.

At 21 a wake up call is a comin.......

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Wow. Just wow. A job with full benefits is unheard of these days. What was she thinking?!!!!! You have every right to be beyond

So kick her out. No money. No food. No help at all. Being responsible for yourself is a hard lesson when you have no means to support yourself.

 

[debilorrah]

Oh man I am so ready to do just that!!!!!

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

The second paragraph said it all...."So I got her a job".

She didn't own it, huh??

Isn't parenting a bummer sometimes? Hope it all works out for you, mom!!

 

[Baymule]

Bless your heart. 2 words: tough love

 

[ChickensAreSweet]

At some point, children will do what they want.

All you can do is be as calm as you can.

 

[SpringChickens]

Seriously, I agree. I would kick her out. You're not doing her any favors by paying rent for her etc. - she needs to grow up and become responsible for herself. Never an easy decision, but sometimes you just gotta do it!

 

[Katy]

Quote:
That was the first thing that popped out at me too.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

She has had almost a year to get her butt in gear. She was told specifically that she had to have a job or go to school. I'm assuming you gave her consequences for not doing either. Time to follow through. Pack her a suitcase. Sit it on the front steps. Take her house key away. Tell her she is welcome back when she is willing to be a functioning part of the family. Shut the door. If you don't follow through, she will know she can do what she wants. Is she really expecting you to support her forever? She is well past old enough to be taking care of herself. Time to let her.
It will totally stink for you and her dad. It will be emotionally hard for you both. But at some point you have to let her fish or cut bait. Put the ball in her court. She is officially an adult now.

to you.

 

[cafarmgirl]

Oh wow. I certainly feel for you. My sister is in the same boat with her 23 year old son. Living at home, no job, dropped out of school etc. etc. I'm sure to some it sounds terrible to say kick her out but sometimes the choices THEY are making leave you with no choice. Like you said, it's high time for a wake up call. She's an adult and it's time to start being responsible for herself and that means facing the consequences of her actions. To throw away a chance at a job like that not to mention failing a drug screen!! No way, completely unacceptable! So if she's not working where is she getting the money for whatever is causing her to fail the drug screen?