SOOOOOO stinkin mad at my daughter I could spit nails!

[danielle82]

sometimes, when you love someone, and want to help them....

heres some more

I know you know what you need to do, and, no, its not easy

 

[Wolfwoman]

Deb! Time to get tough and get her butt OUT on the street where she'll learn a lesson QUICKLY.

I threw both mine out for various reasons at a much younger age. One of them didn't contact me for almost a year, that year I got a Mother's day card that said "Thank you for kicking me out and making me grow up." True story. We get along great now.

 

[ams3651]

My girlfriend is in the same situation with her son. She never followed thru with punishments and was more of a friend than a parent. Now at 20 he dropped out of school after 3 months, wont look for a job or we suspect tanks the interview on purpose if he happens to get one. She keeps threatening to throw him out but never does. If tossing her out scares you do the next best thing. Cut her off. No tv in her room, no cell if you pay the bill, no food if she doesnt buy it. Make her a border in your house. Basically she has a bed on the floor and she has to earn the rest.

 

[twentynine]

MawMaw used to say-----

Kids, when they are little the step on your feet, when they grow up they step on your heart.

 

[BarkerChickens]

A great job handed to her and she just blows it!

Meanwhile, my brother's unemployed (benefits have run out), moves in with DH and I, and is going anywhere and everywhere around the high desert trying to find any job that will take it (PT, FT...he just wants a job!).

 

[KBChicks]

We firmly believe in tough love. And believe me...it was harder on us than it was on them.

We also believe in second chances...I'm not sure how many times your daughter screwed up but we gave our kids "one more chance"one time.
We loved them through all the same mistakes we made when we were young.
And some other real looloo's that we would never have thought of.

But enabling them could have been the most detrimental thing we could have ever done for them.

Funny....our kids range from 22 through 35 and you never stop parenting...

Whatever decision you make as far as your daughter is concerned, I hope she will remember that you're only thinking of her best interest.

Best of luck!

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
This is EXACTLY what I want to know. And thanks for NOT contributing to a struggling household while you are out getting stoned off your butt.

Oh yeah, I am mad enough to just toss her pig sty of a room into trash bags right now. However, this is a decision that Ken and I both have to agree on. He is thinking about a time frame. And I will NOT let him "think" for long. Enough is enough. And that time frame had better not be months. I am thinking days.... I have just freakin had it. The other two kids, no matter how much they hated it, they stepped up. There is NO reason to continue to give her a free pass.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
We are hiring, and we train drivers. 11741 East Santa Fe Ave, Hesperia. Pay is low, but the benefits are full. They train them for their class B license to drive. Send him over.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
Thanks!!! She has been given EVERY consideration possible. She is lost and has no idea what to do with herself. And it is now time for us as parents to introduce her to the real world. If that means sticking her crap on the front step so be it. I am soooo DONE.

 

[Nekhebet]

I WISH I had a parent like you. Funny, isn't it? As we get older, we can appreciate the good and the bad in our own parents, as parents and as people. And the older I get (29, STILL trying to finish college with two kids, one of which I'm constantly battling for custody over, credit woes, no job since we moved etc), I see the missed parenting opportunities, things which might have helped me in the long run. Although people should support their kids in many ways, there should be a point where their children need to learn responsibility.

I go to a very overpriced Catholic college.....I see the kids who wash out. They simply DON'T CARE. They know their parents are paying for it, party it up, bomb on their grades, get on probation, continue to do whatever they want...drugs in the dorm rooms, etc. The point I'm trying to make here is that they have NO APPRECIATION for how good they have it.

It sounds like that is the case with your daughter....you've given her a YEAR leeway. 365 days. You spoon fed her a job many people would love to have right now to support themselves and their families. And she threw it away, because it meant nothing to her. It's high time that she learned to appreciate what she has. I really think that consequences (and subsequent learning) should come more sooner than later.