stupid assumptions people make about others

[Sunshine Flock]

I hope I am saying this correctly....

A family member is just someone who is related to you it does not does not automatically
make them your friend or even someone who is looking out for your best intentions.

Some people justify saying and doing anything they want because they are "family" and most people put up with it because they are "family".

Why?

I think family should be like your friends and if they are not cut them lose.

If someone is not being a positive influence in your live why do you need them and why do you need to listen to them.

Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them.

You're up later than I am considering your time zone!

You said this so well. A therapist told me a few years ago that my mother is a bully. I can love her from a distance. Why keep people in my life who bully and constantly put me down?

 

[Sunshine Flock]

I used to wear my hair super short, I have a strong, type a personality and I'm a little overweight. I'm also a big girl up top. I've been asked if I'm a lesbian, rumors have gone around at work. I've been called a B because I don't associate with people from work, and apparently I sleep around and my boobs are fake. I laugh. I could care less what anyone thinks of me. They're nothing, strangers.
I love me, my husband and kids love me. I'm good. It has taken many years and a lot of tears to get to this point. I've come to realize that the gossip mongers and name callers have low self esteem so they put others down. That's not about me it's their problem.
To all!

I love this discussion. I tend to post comments as if I'm having a conversation with myself, and I am. But I enjoy what I'm reading here and like knowing kindred spirits are listening in to my public self talk.

I'm not sure that made sense. The eyelids are finally heavy. Time for some shut eyeballs.

 

[Mraya]

You're up later than I am considering your time zone!

You said this so well. A therapist told me a few years ago that my mother is a bully. I can love her from a distance. Why keep people in my life who bully and constantly put me down?

I am actually up early. I have to go feed my chicks

 

[perchie.girl]

Nobody can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them.

I like this.... and have been working on it... i have toxic family members but I cant walk away...

 

[sourland]

I like this.... and have been working on it... i have toxic family members but I cant walk away...

I dealt with a toxic family member until the day we buried Mom. That freed me, and I never looked back; however, this person was not dependent on me.

 

[perchie.girl]

It is very possible to love your famliy... and yet not like them as humans...
Mine is very small there are four of us... comprising four generations... Grandma Mom Me and My son... I am hoping to save my son....

deb

 

[perchie.girl]

I dealt with a toxic family member until the day we buried Mom. That freed me, and I never looked back; however, this person was not dependent on me.

yep... Yep...

 

[Frazzemrat1]

It is very possible to love your famliy... and yet not like them as humans...
Mine is very small there are four of us... comprising four generations... Grandma Mom Me and My son... I am hoping to save my son....

deb

I've dealt with a toxic relationship my whole life. It took my half sister's therapist saying that our mother sounded Narcissistic for me to start to understand. Especially since I've realized that probably part of the reason I'm not treated the same is because I'm from her first husband. I'm not as good as the ones from her current husband.
As a result of that, she's treated my step daughter like crap, my son like crap. She's made DD feel like she's not allowed to be part of the family.
I won't deal with it anymore... I haven't dealt with her in over a year. Of course, its my fault... I'm the crazy one. I may be crazy, but my kids, my family, me... we're all happier.

 

[Mraya]

I like this.... and have been working on it... i have toxic family members but I cant walk away...

Hang in there....

Nobody lives forever.

Live your life as best you can

 

[Sunshine Flock]

I've dealt with a toxic relationship my whole life. It took my half sister's therapist saying that our mother sounded Narcissistic for me to start to understand. Especially since I've realized that probably part of the reason I'm not treated the same is because I'm from her first husband. I'm not as good as the ones from her current husband.
As a result of that, she's treated my step daughter like crap, my son like crap. She's made DD feel like she's not allowed to be part of the family.
I won't deal with it anymore... I haven't dealt with her in over a year. Of course, its my fault... I'm the crazy one. I may be crazy, but my kids, my family, me... we're all happier.

I'm from my dad's second marriage. His parents never accepted me, my sister or my mother, and when I had to live with them in Colorado while my parents looked for a house in California, their dislike of us became even more obvious. It was awful for a nine year old girl to feel like a second class grandchild all the time and to hear my grandmother saying unkind things about my mother.