Terrible Twos?

[Sonoran Silkies]

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Yes all valid points. I have always spoken to my kids in this manner, because I believed that they could understand me from the get go. That might be part of the reason we have had a relatively easy time compared to a lot of the stories I hear. I have high standards for behavior tho, my idea of "terrible" is other people's idea of "normal every day behavior".

Pretty much the same, here. It helped that they were both early talkers and their language was quite clear. But it amazed me to see other parents not realizing that their kids were talking to them--they doted on their kids, but did not recognise communication attempts.

 

[LarryPQ]

Mine is coming up on 4 and doing all these things. he won't listen until I get up to a full screech. He had me in tears yesterday (I try very hard not to cry in front of him) and the DH seems to think I am weak. Meanwhile, cute devil child has DH yelling within 15 seconds of being home.

We've tried a number of things, but each takes time, since consistancy is key. So I hear.

Just a phase? Lord I hope so. I hear I was a willful child, and my mother always favored my sister. I just don't want to do that with my kids.

 

[maplesky7]

ooh sparkle... your mom's antics make me laugh... it reminds me slightly of my mom.

We just had a picture slide the other night and we were laughing at all the old photos of us kids standing on snowy ledges...and we were saying, "here's a snowy ledge, go stand on it, and I'll take your picture."

well...we survived at least...

I'm with Katy on the ignore tantrum thing too. I have a 3 year old that can wear me thin sometimes. Sit her in time out and it doesn't mean she'll stay there. I've watched the nanny show and also believe there are very good pointers in there and seen them tell the child the reason they are in time out and say 2 minutes and walk away. If the child gets up...they say one more time that they are to be in timeout and put them there and walk away. Any other times the child gets out...the parent does not give them eye contact or talk but just takes them back to time out...repeatedly until they stay. Eventually, it seems to work.

I've found that it does sometimes and not others. So if she lays on the floor and fits... I try my best to ignore it. But it is tiring. Persistence is key.

I believe you need to sit down with your mom and say this IS allowable and this IS NOT allowable because your mom is working against you then...to those who offer sodas and such that you don't allow them to have. And I think a mom/aka Grandma should respect that or they are undermining the parents authority.

Sarah... I saw one show where they had the child assist in the grocery shopping by making a list...if they can't read then they would draw a banana and a gallon of milk... and then they would take their red crayon and cross it off the list and having them participate was part of it too. If he was to take the box of cheerios and put them in the cart... then he feels like he's helping and it's not such a bad thing anymore, to go shopping. They have short attention spans and get bored. You need to interact with them at the store.

I know my lists are always longer than what they showed as an example but if you helped make a list for your child...then it could be fun like a scavenger hunt. "We need green apples and yellow onions in this aisle...can you help mommy find them?" "Now we have to go find the toilet paper and paper towels...where do you think they are? Oh are they down this aisle? Wow, we found them. Can you help mommy put them in the cart? Thank you. What a big boy you are."

My children are 8 & 3. Sometimes my 3 year old will sit on the seat but other times she prefers to ride on the side and hold on. That allows me to go faster and to the place we are going and she's content hanging on for the ride.

Just suggestions... and it seems many of us feel for you because we live it or have lived it.

Enjoy the moments of happiness and peace.

hugs,
gretchen

 

[sparkles2307]

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Heres a tip I got from a magazine and works for me.

Whisper.

They tune you out the louder you get, but if you whisper it piques their interest and the will come over and listen.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

There is a series of books about different ages and stages in kids--excellent resources. Your xxx Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, PhD

Generally, you need to not yell or screetch; you need to squat down and look him directly in the eyes and tell him your expectation; you need to use words he understands; keep emotion out of your voice, but you can tell him how his words made you feel; you need to list specific consequences (which includes the consequences for behaving well).

 

[LarryPQ]

I always speak to him quietly. Whispering worked for 2 months.

The "mommy screech" only happens when I am telling him not to do something, he is looking right at me, knows I cannot get up, and he is inching-inching-inching his way to do it anyway. Or he is repeating some action over and over.

IE--opening the garage door, running into the street repeatedly, jumping off the furniture onto concrete, tapping a glass bottle (where did he get that?) on the TV screen.

It is like he is trying to break me

 

[Countrywife]

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Simply put, yes. He is doing it in public cause he knows he can. I raised three, and have my first grandchild now. If you simply, calmly walk out of the store a time or two he will find out you aren't going to give him the chance. So yes, sometimes you must leave your stuff. If ever I had to do it I would walk up front to a cashier, apologize and tell them I had to go, that way they can put the stuff back quickly. He is simply testing you. They all do. My son is 15 now, and dang, he is STILL in the testing stage!@

 

[cassie]

I have a friend who is a teacher. She told me the following:

Instead of talking louder, talk softer. And softer. Don't get into a screaming match, ever.

The whiner never gets whatever it is the whiner wants

Ignore temper tantrums.

When the kid pitches a fit, just walk off.

In addition, watch Super Nanny

Also go to www.flylady.net and check out the House Fairy

Good luck. Toddlers are one of the major reasons I never had children. I like babies and I can deal with older children, but toddlers drive me around the bend. I don't think mothers get nearly enough credit.

 

[SarahFair]

Thanks and great tips guys!
When my sons start yelling I will sometimes tell them 'Hey hey hey we are whispering here..' in a whispering voice. Sometimes it will help them lower their voice others it does not.


One other thing I noticed today that has been an on going problem..
Diaper changes.
He kicks rolls runs hits. I just want to take the diaper off and put a new one on! You would think that almost 2 years of this 6+ times a day it would be casual. I dont know how to fix this..

 

[sparkles2307]

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When DS #1 got to the age of hating diaper changes I would have a few special toys or treats in the area that were ONLY for use during diaper changes. He never got them any other time, and he only got them for being good during a diaper change. It worked pretty well.