The Book On How To Understand Women

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Quote:
WOW.....way to serious for a hilariuos thread!

The Rules
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1. The FEMALE always makes THE RULES.
2. NO male can possibly know THE RULES.
3. THE RULES are subject to change at any time with prior notification by the FEMALE.
4. If the FEMALE suspects that the male knows THE RULES, she shall immediately change some, or all, of THE RULES.
5. The FEMALE is never wrong.
6. If it appears that the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a flagrant misunderstanding which is the direct result of something the male said or did.
7. Should RULE6 apply, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The FEMALE my change her mind at any time.
9. The male shall never change his mind without prior written consent from the FEMALE.
10. The FEMALE may be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male shall remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The FEMALE shall never, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. Any attempt by the male to document a RULE for settlement of future disputes may result in bodily harm.
14. If the male is confused about any RULE, refer to RULE #1.

NOTICE
A. If the FEMALE has PMS, all RULES are null and void.
B. If the male has UMS (Ugly Mood Swings), that’s his problem.

Signed: THE QUEEN

 

[Orchid]

Gentlemen, we do not expect nor desire to be understood. All we want is your undying affection, courtesy and admiration for the amazingness that is woman.

See, isn't that easy?

 

[sourland]

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Easy? Not by a long shot. 1.5 years dating, 47 + years married, still a day to day job.

Rewarding? If you're lucky, YES!

 

[Orchid]

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Easy? Not by a long shot. 1.5 years dating, 47 + years married, still a day to day job.

Rewarding? If you're lucky, YES!

I know, that's why I was laughing.

I know it's not easy because I try to do the same for my DH - but it's worth it!

 

[eenie114]

There once was a man who loved to ride his motercycle.
One day, God appeared to him and said, "Since you're such a good person, I'll grant you one of anything you want."
The man thought for a minute, then said, "Could you make a bridge all the way from the coast of California to Hawii, so I can ride my motercycle on it?"
God rolled His eyes. "How about something that would actually benefit mankind?"
The many thought for a moment, then said, "I wish men could understand women; Why they cry, what makes them laugh, and how to make them happy."
There was a long silence, then God said, "You want two lanes or three on that bridge?"

 

[eenie114]

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HEAR YE, HEAR YE!!!!

 

[KristyHall]

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wow! well said!

 

[welsummerchicks]

"Way too serious"

Thanks.

The joke is the idea that women are inscrutably nuts and no man can ever understand them, ha ha ha, isn't that funny.

When I am taking some woman to the hospital and she dies there because her husband beat her on the head after voicing this particular sentiment, frankly, no, I don't find it funny.

 

[cackydoodledoo]

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Welsummer I think your post was more serious than what this thread was aiming for but I do have to say it was very well written and very true. All a woman wants is respect, love and trust and if a man provides those and the women reciprocates then pretty much everything else falls into place!! However man will still never understand why we cry sometimes or why we pms at times even when we shouldn't be but if he is a wise man he just nods his head and agrees with everything his wife says! The two most important words any man can learn is "Yes dear"!

(P.S. Even we don't understand why we do the things we do sometimes!)

 

[PotterWatch]

I am not hard to understand, I don't think. It's fairly simple. If you say you are going to do the dishes or fold your laundry... do it! Don't leave it undone for days and then wonder why I am irritated. If you have trash in your hand... throw it away! Don't put it on the counter above the trashcan and then wonder why I am irritated.

I know there are women who are irrational, shrieking, manipulative creatures; but we aren't all that way. I think my instruction book would be fairly concise but I wouldn't want to see the book on a few women I know!