The bullying has to stop...children are dying

[Royd]

mom'sfolly :

I don't know what manly discipline means, but I do know that self-control and civility are virtues that I as a woman value. Bullies do not practice either self-discipline or civility.

I'm pushing fifty, and I remember how awful middle school could be. I grew up in a very small town, less than 2500 people, and the bullies were people I knew from the time I started school. So, when I was a bright, slow to develop, tall girl I was teased and targeted. By the popular boys, in a very sexual way. I love that this behavior would not be tolerated now. Another friend, male, was targeted because he was not athletic, and was artistic and musical. He was also infatuated with the most popular girl at the school, and showed it. The same popular boys targeted him...he was labeled as gay, and teased for being effeminate. His oldest brother often jooined the rest of the bullies, basically justifying it with the wimpy label. The underlying fact of his harassment was the fear that the girl would find him more appealing than them. He has not returned to his home town since he finished college.

Manly discipline means that Dad said, "Son, if I hear of you getting a paddling at school, you are going to get it twice as hard, when you get home." Guess what? I walked the line.

Today, the cops would be waiting at the house, to take dad off to jail, because the kid, now, has rights, and you can't lay a hand on them.

Where we are at, today, is the result of an insidious evil, intentionally instituted, which goes against the very laws of nature; that the cream has no business rising to the top. It's just not fair to the milk.​

 

[SillyChicken]

Quote:
Nor would I assume I am...? However, ignoring traits that are tied to certain syndromes or disorders will never do anyone any actual benefit in my opinion. Allowing people to go undiagnosed seems to have lead to the most discomfort in people's lives that I know. I asked PBJ because she will have more insight than a rather vague description, and it may open up some avenues for her to provide better assistance. Listing a grouping of behaviors and then ignoring stated possibilities (definitely was not meant as an end-all-be-all diagnosis) due to fear of people getting the wrong idea just increases fear and ingorance in my opinion.

No Problem punk! I read back and realized you probably meant to quote the other post. But I still have a low tollerance for jerks (bullies)!!



The problem with reporting bullies in schools etc... is that they know full well who caused them to get in triouble, they know who they're targeting and they will retaliate.


If I had fought back against my bullies......... I would have been seriously hurt... I was a 90 lbs weakling and she was HUGE!! lol!

 

[chickened]

Some things are better resolved behind the school than in the school or on the psychiatrist's couch. Self control and civility only works in theory the part you do not see is the spanking (yes spanking another no-no- in our enlightened society) that goes on in disciplining our kids. You cannot expect any bully to follow any rule with out EFFECTIVE discipline which our schools and some parents think is uncivilized, we really are hurting our kids by not having effective discipline.

As I remember in high school some of the girls craved the teasing you detested. Talk about sending mixed signals to a 16 year old male, WOW!

I watched the news story link in a previous post and besides it being a tragedy it was a very well crafted story by the journalist to make one believe this kid was bullied to death like there was no other choice, pathetic journalism and staged interviews now I remember why I hate watching the national news channels.Too bad they do not have stories about kids standing up to bullies. It happens all the time it is called survival.

mom'sfolly :

I don't know what manly discipline means, but I do know that self-control and civility are virtues that I as a woman value. Bullies do not practice either self-discipline or civility.

I'm pushing fifty, and I remember how awful middle school could be. I grew up in a very small town, less than 2500 people, and the bullies were people I knew from the time I started school. So, when I was a bright, slow to develop, tall girl I was teased and targeted. By the popular boys, in a very sexual way. I love that this behavior would not be tolerated now. Another friend, male, was targeted because he was not athletic, and was artistic and musical. He was also infatuated with the most popular girl at the school, and showed it. The same popular boys targeted him...he was labeled as gay, and teased for being effeminate. His oldest brother often jooined the rest of the bullies, basically justifying it with the wimpy label. The underlying fact of his harassment was the fear that the girl would find him more appealing than them. He has not returned to his home town since he finished college.​

 

[SillyChicken]

Quote:
I will address you first. If the meds your taking and the counselor is not helping you need to make a change. One thing this young man said is true. It does get better, just hang on til it does. Ok?


Now for those who have OP's like we all do.

Being gay is not something all gay people can hide. It becomes obvious for some very early on. It's sad but true. If there is a cure it won't be found in bullying a person until they kill themselves.

Now for those who are or claim to be Christians. I have been saved , born again since I was 24 and I'm an old man now. Preaching and screaming and shouting at people is NOT scriptural. If you are doing it to someone who isn't or won't listen. It's wrong and if you don't think so you need to read your bible. Jesus "taught" the people who wanted to learn. He didn't go chasing after those who "turned back from following". He didn't go screaming in their faces they were going to hell. Please just be quite you do more harm than good.

Finally it is a sad time for our youth. They are trying to maintain internet relationships to fulfill the need humans have for acceptance and friendships. The internet is a poor substitute for this. It might help if parents were more involved in their children's social structure and helped their children join clubs or sports or scouts or some organization where they will find like minded people and receive peer acceptance.

I belong to a large church and have met many people and one thing I have learned. WE ALL have issues in one form or another. No one has the answers to every problem not even the pastors in the pulpit.

That said, we all will experience "peer" pressure at any age. It never ends, but we can learn how to deal with it. For me , I stay away from mean people, whether family (parent, sibling) or co worker or fellow church member. There is nothing written that says a person has to accept everyone no matter what they are like. If someone is causing you mental pain then get away from them. You DO NOT have to "put up" with them.

For those who may consider taking their own life, please don't. Your best life can be ahead of you. New friends and places and accomplishments. Young people in school, Please you have no idea the adventures that lie ahead, gay or straight. You wouldn't let some one rob your house, don't let them steal your future.

Our paths may cross some day and I NEED you to be there, Lord knows I can use all the friends I can get.

Rancher

I feel people who do this, are being a bully.

Nice post Rancher hicks.

 

[chickened]

As children we lived in low income welfare housing right after my parents divorced and my older sister was picked on by a much larger girl constantly. My sister weighed about 80 to 90 pounds 5' 2" tall the other girl was about 5'10" and I'm guessing 150 or more. She would stand in our yard and call out my sister even after the law was called, my mother finally had enough and opened the front door and told my sister to do what she had too. She beat the crap out of that girl and that ended the whole thing. The fight was over a boy as I remember. It is not the size of the one in the fight but the size of the fight in the one.
Quote:
Nor would I assume I am...? However, ignoring traits that are tied to certain syndromes or disorders will never do anyone any actual benefit in my opinion. Allowing people to go undiagnosed seems to have lead to the most discomfort in people's lives that I know. I asked PBJ because she will have more insight than a rather vague description, and it may open up some avenues for her to provide better assistance. Listing a grouping of behaviors and then ignoring stated possibilities (definitely was not meant as an end-all-be-all diagnosis) due to fear of people getting the wrong idea just increases fear and ingorance in my opinion.

No Problem punk! I read back and realized you probably meant to quote the other post. But I still have a low tollerance for jerks (bullies)!!



The problem with reporting bullies in schools etc... is that they know full well who caused them to get in triouble, they know who they're targeting and they will retaliate.


If I had fought back against my bullies......... I would have been seriously hurt... I was a 90 lbs weakling and she was HUGE!! lol!

 

[SillyChicken]

only time I saw my bullies (there were 6) was in school, and I got in trouble "fighting back" more like just defending myself, after one of them jumped on my back while getting off the bus, and I had to stay after with the kid to be punished......and that only made things worse.... my trick was just to avoid at all costs. I was very secluded as a child growing up, I was punished by my parents if I fought with my sibling or them, so you can understand why I was not a fighter, and not as hardned as I am now.

 

[chickened]

Understood. I took alot of crap from bullies myself until the 9th grade and I do not take very much now (except from wife).

Quote:

 

[Amigo]

I think Q9 wins the debate! Fair and square.

 

[adgcountrygirl]

What it really comes down to, is that parents are not teaching their kids to be kind to others!

 

[Buff Hooligans]

We can start being kind to others, right here in this thread. Be nice.