The Front Porch Swing

[heartsizedfarm]

Tomtommom  I am exactly the same way.  I used to cross the street if I saw someone my own age from school coming the opposite direction.... In fear that they would talk to me or taunt me.

I did the research originally on Aspberghers because I have a great deal of those qualities.  But I also am able to express and feel emotions very deeply.    I grew up in a benign but very alcoholic family.  many of those abilities to read facial expressions and Obsess about having offended people  comes from not being able to correctly read my own family...  To see if I had done something wrong.  The best thing they could have done for me is encourage my main obsession for horses.

That got me out of my house out of my shell and in amongst people with similar interests.  My dad would drink about two or three double Bourbons at lunch time...  then beer at home.  Mom had House wifes disease the term now would be social anxiety or Agoraphobia she never left the house except if my dad drove.  I also was never was able to bring friends over for sleep overs or have parties. 

When I moved out on my own at the ripe old age of 25 mom was very angry with me over it.  She threw away my metal sculptures I had done in Art class.  Were talking things that were over six feet tall.  Told me she had planned on committing suicide if I ever left her.  By this time I realized some of this stuff was a way to manipulate me...  As she has manipulated everyone around her for ever. she did me a favor....  I love my mom but I needed to have a life of my own.

This kind of background is paralyzing for work.  But I learned every nuance is not something readable or necessisarily something intended for me.  it took me ten years to learn to stop obsessing...  The better I got at it the better work went...  

So...  Life is a Process of Learning...  I am back to Square one now taking care of Grandma.... Mom is next... Sigh.

deb

I wish the process of learning was easier.

 

[heartsizedfarm]

[quote name="heartsizedfarm" url="/t/850759/the-front-porch-swing/9570#post_13659254


I wish the process of learning was easier.

That feels a lame and pat response to a deeply felt and carefully spoken story. Sorry, it's so late at night, and I can hear intelligent exploratory thoughts. But it's too late for me, I doubt I will even get my head off the sofa pillow and get my a** up to bed.

 

[perchie.girl]

Quote:
so do I... but I feel Life is a journey and you are here to learn along the way... Life lessons... I try to learn from eveything... some times more successfully than others. I fight my own demons occasionally Winning most of the time. but as a control freak I have to learn to let go. Take care of the things I can and Let go of the rest. I love my family with all its Warts because there are still alot of pearls in there...

I am kind of like the kid in the horse stall with a shovel and a big grin... With all this poo there HAS to be a pony under there somewhere.

LOL... I tell people writing keeps me sane. They dont know how much of a truth that is.

deb

 

[perchie.girl]

...

Its not lame... Its a distillation of all we have been talking about.

deb

 

[heartsizedfarm]

so do I...  but I feel Life is a journey and you are here to learn along the way...  Life lessons... I try to learn from eveything...  some times more successfully than others.   I fight my own demons occasionally Winning most of the time.  but as a control freak  I have to learn to let go.  Take care of the things I can and Let go of the rest.  I love my family with all its Warts because there are still alot of pearls in there...

I am kind of like the kid in the horse stall with a shovel and a big grin...  With all this poo there HAS to be a pony under there somewhere.

LOL... I tell people writing keeps me sane.  They dont know how much of a truth that is.

deb

Oh there IS a pony under there!

 

[Beekissed]

Placed a chick and three ducklings under a broody with three chicks of her own this night. If everything goes as it normally does, by morning there will be four little orphans who have a new mama and a very contented foster mama with a larger family. So, tomorrow a Delaware hen may be mothering three BA/WR chicks, one brown chick with big hair and three little khaki colored ducklings.....what an odd looking family that will be. I'll try to get pics of it all.....she's a good mother, so they will be well cared for and mothered to a fare thee well.

It is very chilly tonight, with a full moon shining as bright as day out there...tomorrow~or rather, today~promises to be bright, clear and just the right temp at 77*. We will have our family reunion and plenty of great food and drinks. I'm hoping it all goes well and I'm praying that those in attendance will see Christ in me, and in doing so, want to follow Christ also.....I hope and pray that my family all turn to God and give their lives to Him so they can be free.

I wish there was a light switch one could simply turn on and they would then SEE the truth and want to live their lives filled with it, so that their lives would finally have meaning and a purpose other than to acquire things, stress over worldly things and then dying.

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and may YOUR lives be filled with the joy and peace that only a heart filled with the light of the Holy Spirit can bring. May your footsteps be blessed as you move through your day and may your smiles always reach your eyes.

 

[Oldmomma]

Well I tried to catch up on posts but felt if I didnt post what I was thinking now by the time I did get to the end I would forget what I wanted to say. For those looking into alternative education check out www.connectionsacademy.com its a home school program but heres the best part. They send you a computer and printer, if you cant afford internet they assist there too. Its FREE, every state has a local chapter and its easy to join. All the courses are online and they send you all the materials. Teachers are online. Most grades are immediate and you only need to test for CSAP per state guidelines. I used this program for 2 yrs with my kids before we moved here. Check them out, most kids I know dont fit in regular classrooms and after Columbine shooting and almost daily reports of creeps trying to abduct kids walking toschool I had enough. My daughters husbands brother was listed adhd and most of my kids were having trouble in school but programs like this were the best solution. I hope someday to get programs like this here in Libya one day. Many areas the schools are horrible, teachers worse and learning is read/rote style. No individualism or creativity. Its free because of freedom of education act and really worth looking into.
otherwise I had a wedding and a funeral this week on top of sudden severe pain in my hip at lower back. Went to clinic and saw doctor, got an injection and was told couch potato for 4 days unless it worsens. I got a dull ache today. And im beginning to think I have 13 roos! Two more started crowing! Penguin and Uno and both NNs have joined Equinox. Next time I buy chicks wont be from market. But I got a lovely bunch of guys. Also when I take out my FF three like to jump into the bucket and start eating! I pull them out and laugh. They pic the juicy bits off each other.

 

[heartsizedfarm]

Well I tried to catch up on posts but felt if I didnt post what I was thinking now by the time I did get to the end I would forget what I wanted to say. For those looking into alternative education check out www.connectionsacademy.com its a home school program but heres the best part. They send you a computer and printer, if you cant afford internet they assist there too. Its FREE, every state has a local chapter and its easy to join. All the courses are online and they send you all the materials. Teachers are online. Most grades are immediate and you only need to test for CSAP per state guidelines. I used this program for 2 yrs with my kids before we moved here. Check them out, most kids I know dont fit in regular classrooms and after Columbine shooting and almost daily reports of creeps trying to abduct kids walking toschool I had enough. My daughters husbands brother was listed adhd and most of my kids were having trouble in school but programs like this were the best solution. I hope someday to get programs like this here in Libya one day. Many areas the schools are horrible, teachers worse and learning is read/rote style. No individualism or creativity. Its free because of freedom of education act and really worth looking into.
otherwise I had a wedding and a funeral this week on top of sudden severe pain in my hip at lower back. Went to clinic and saw doctor, got an injection and was told couch potato for 4 days unless it worsens. I got a dull ache today. And im beginning to think I have 13 roos! Two more started crowing! Penguin and Uno and both NNs have joined Equinox. Next time I buy chicks wont be from market. But I got a lovely bunch of guys. Also when I take out my FF three like to jump into the bucket and start eating! I pull them out and laugh. They pic the juicy bits off each other.

Thirteen Roos! The dawn chorus will be spectacular.

 

[Triple Willow]

Placed a chick and three ducklings under a broody with three chicks of her own  this night.  If everything goes as it normally does, by morning there will be four little orphans who have a new mama and a very contented foster mama with a larger family.  So, tomorrow a Delaware hen may be mothering three BA/WR chicks, one brown chick with big hair and three little khaki colored ducklings.....what an odd looking family that will be.   I'll try to get pics of it all.....she's a good mother, so they will be well cared for and mothered to a fare thee well. 

It is very chilly tonight, with a full moon shining as bright as day out there...tomorrow~or rather, today~promises to be bright, clear and just the right temp at 77*.  We will have our family reunion and plenty of great food and drinks.  I'm hoping it all goes well and I'm praying that those in attendance will see Christ in me, and in doing so, want to follow Christ also.....I hope and pray that my family all turn to God and give their lives to Him so they can be free.

I wish there was a light switch one could simply turn on and they would then SEE the truth and want to live their lives filled with it, so that their lives would finally have meaning and a purpose other than to acquire things, stress over worldly things and then dying. 

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow and may YOUR lives be filled with the joy and peace that only a heart filled with the light of the Holy Spirit can bring.  May your footsteps be blessed as you move through your day and may your smiles always reach your eyes. 

Amen Bee. I hope you get together goes great.

 

[Beekissed]

The Operation Foster Mama did not work....I thought it did and she was covering them nicely this morning, but later on in the morning she was pecking at them just a little too hard. They are now back in my bedroom resting on a heating pad, safe and sound. I have another DEL broody that is setting on some wooden eggs that I may move tonight and place these babies under.