THe i want to slap my stepdaughter upside her head rant by Conny

[me&thegals]

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Who said that? AFAIK, people have only been saying that BOTH the adults and adult kids should be respectful.

 

[Whispering Winds]

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I agree, and I think the daddies have to be one to set the rules. He needs to set her down like the young adult she is,

and tell her in NO uncertain terms is this going to continue. It is hard for men to be firm with their girls, I think, they love their little girls from birth on, in a different sort of way they do their sons . . . but she is going above and beyond the norm here, and needs to be stopped. . .and I will tell you something else, if any of the future babies want to call you grandma, watch and see if their mom can't stop them. . .little kids instinctively know who is grammy and who's not . . .good luck, and don't let this little snot get you down.

 

[conny63malies]

Overall i can say. I hope one day she is in the same situation that i am, maybe she will understand then what i went through. A few more years and everything will be over and we can move far away. WAAAyyy out in the country , i mean way out there. With a pet llama or three because their mom is scared of them.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

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The problem with all this on-line ranting is that it is PUBLIC. If the daughter is online, and we know she is, it's possible for her to find and read this thread. If my stepmother was ranting about me online, using the "slapping" and "*#@*" terminology, I wouldn't want to make nice either.

This adage still applies... if you wouldn't want to see it in your hometown newspaper, don't post it online.

Well I only know connie as a member on the forum. I don't know her hubby or any of her kids (step or natural). So there is still a big level of anonymity here. And wanting to slap the kid upside the head and actually doing it is something else. To me it's just an expression of frustration and not a threat of any physicality. So rant on and get it off your chest.

 

[HennysMom]

Connie..

Kids learn by example - and...sometimes they never learn (hence stupid adults

). I think you've gotten some great advice here and can choose to take it or leave it; you dont know any of us and we dont know you or your life in all honesty. We are just going off of our own experiences, and therefore, our own opinions, and you know what they say, opinions are like...

.

You have biological children with your DH correct? The best thing I'd do at this point in time (oh look..there's that advice again LMAO!) is just tend to your own children, raise them right, raise them to know love, right from wrong, respect from disrepect and then...lead by example. That includes the current step children (meaning showing YOUR children how to treat others and how NOT to be treated BY others) because after all - children learn from example - so set great ones for your own children and go from there.

Good luck with everything my friend...it'll all work out in the end.

 

[tdgill]

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hahahahaaha

 

[tdgill]

me&thegals :

Totally agree with HorseJody

My point is this has probably been a long, ongoing thing. That doesn't make it okay, but it might explain why an 18 year old is still getting away with it.

And yes, the daughter needs to learn to be respectful and grow up. But were you all COMPLETELY grown up by age 18? And, where is she supposed to find these wonderful examples of respect and maturity? Hopefully from her parents...

And the issue (while OP may not see it this way) is that the daughter perceives her as getting between her and her dad. Doesn't anybody think this family could use some calm, loving, respectful, mature communication?!?!

yep.
ain't gonna happen
but you got it.
soured here too​

 

[conny63malies]

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The problem with all this on-line ranting is that it is PUBLIC. If the daughter is online, and we know she is, it's possible for her to find and read this thread. If my stepmother was ranting about me online, using the "slapping" and "*#@*" terminology, I wouldn't want to make nice either.

This adage still applies... if you wouldn't want to see it in your hometown newspaper, don't post it online.

Well I only know connie as a member on the forum. I don't know her hubby or any of her kids (step or natural). So there is still a big level of anonymity here. And wanting to slap the kid upside the head and actually doing it is something else. To me it's just an expression of frustration and not a threat of any physicality. So rant on and get it off your chest.

exactlly. I mean how often do people say something like " oh i am going to kill him/her" or going to rip somebody apart. All it means to mean is somebody extremly frustrated

 

[horsejody]

me&thegals :

But were you all COMPLETELY grown up by age 18? And, where is she supposed to find these wonderful examples of respect and maturity? Hopefully from her parents...

Yes, I was grown up at 18. I was on my own and a productive adult. I was in the Marines. When my son was 18 he was an adult and had a full time job and went to college. He joined the Marines later. When my daughter was 18 she was grown up and working 2 jobs and going to college.

As far as who should have taught her respect and maturity - her mother and father. Obviously, they didn't so her poor stepmother is paying for it.​

 

[HennysMom]

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Yes, I was grown up at 18. I was on my own and a productive adult. I was in the Marines. When my son was 18 he was an adult and had a full time job and went to college. He joined the Marines later. When my daughter was 18 she was grown up and working 2 jobs and going to college.

As far as who should have taught her respect and maturity - her mother and father. Obviously, they didn't so her poor stepmother is paying for it.

I gotta agree with jody on this one.. I too was out on my own at 18 and supporting myself, as were my brother and sister as well. They joined the Marines at 17, respectively and followed in Dad's footsteps. I followed Dad the other way and went into the gov't and worked with him. So yes, at 18 you CAN be a mature, responsible adult.

Now - on the other hand - my 18 y/o DD is FARRRR from being mature and responsible no matter how hard her father and I try to make her. Some kids just refuse to grow up and must be pushed even harder to do so.