Things you never said until you had chickens.......

[LittleSticks]

I'm going to visit with the ladies. (Said to my husband before I go out to commune with the flock.)

You have such a cute butt. (Pip used to look like her butt was dipped in vanilla icing. And I admmit that I may have said this before I got chickens.

)

Dang it! My nipples keep leaking! (Darn screw-in chicken nipples. Even with teflon tape around the threads.)

Don't you dare poop on me!

No, you cannot swallow my fingers.

Those are my FINGERS.

No, you cannot hide in my shirt.

Do you need to sit on my head?

Oooh the ladies would love to eat that. (Said whenever I find a worm or bug.)

 

[LittleSticks]

Forgot one. . . "How do I sex this thing anyway?"

 

[Jubilee1111]

LMAO!

 

[dollychick]

18 pages. Wow. Some of these sound very familiar. Here are a few of mine.

I say this to Dorian and Sterling, two of my roos.
"That's good boys. Let the girls eat first. You are such sweet boys."

I make sure know how pretty they are. Sterling hears...
"Sterling, you have the fluffiest pants I have ever seen! Have you been raiding MC Hammer's parachute pants?"
He's a LF Cochin.

Byron, another roo, my worst...
"I swear to gawd, if I didn't need your semen, you'd be in the freezer! Go ahead, come at me again and see who wins!"
"Byron, if you weren't so pretty... I swear..." "Bridgette, I am sorry your boyfriend is an a-hole." "Byron, she's MINE. I let you borrow her! That's it. Lets see how Milton, Lester and Beakman like their new meat."
Lester, Beakman and Milton are in a bachelor pad by themselves. Yes, I like watching the 3 of them gang up on Byron. Yeah, that's another weird one for you.

Lester and Beakman, more Beakman, insist I am their girlfriend. They pick grass for me and pace their run bok-boking at me to come get my treat from them.
"No Beakman, you eat your grass. Thanks, but I don't want it."

Chicks pecking feathers in the brooder...
"Stupid chicks are eating each others butts again!"

Said while de-pasty butting a chick.
"Dewey, get the phone. I have poop in my hands."

I am a bit of a germaphobe since getting the chickens. I must have gloves to clean the nest boxes out.
"I am not knowingly sticking my hands in chicken poop, accidentally while clean the coop is okay."

I have 3 cockerels running free range and fending for themselves...
"Boys! Stop molesting each other!"

Everywhere I go, everything I see can be turned into a coop... Everything.

"Dewey, did you take a vacation day for the chicken swap? If not, you are skipping work."
"I am going to Maryland next month." "What for?" "More chickens and to sell some." "Can't you do that here?" "No."

"Yep. I paid $400 for 5 chicks. Yes, CHICKS."

yeap thats some good ones alright. Uh was those chicks made of gold? or be worth there weight in gold?

 

[Malibu99]

Dad: "Hey, wanna go for a walk with me and the dog?" me: "Can I bring a chicken?" Dad: "Fine..." me: "YAY! *runs out to coop with chihuahua harness*"

"Mom, are you sure Petrie (the chicken) will like the hot pink harness? What if she likes purple?"

"Uhh Mom... I need to take a shower..." Mom:"Why?" Me: "Petrie went on my head and... defaecated."

Mom: "Put the chicken down. and get in here. and do your schoolwork."

"Can I bathe Petrie?"

"Come here Petrie! Good Gi- EWWW YOU STEPPED IN FAECES!!"

"Uhh. Mom. We have an issue. Lily's a boy."

"I'm gonna go check on the girlies!!"

"Girlies!!"

"No! Wait! Petrie! Get off my head!! I remember what you did last time you were up there!! GAAHH!!"

And that's all I have for now. XD

Edit: Here are a few more.

"What are you walking there?" "A chicken."

"What is that noise!!??" "It's Petrie. Be quiet, Petrie. You're bothering people."

 

[jamesbwood]

The flock reminds me of day traders. . .

 

[TinaG]

"I want a chicken that plays piano" After watching a performance of Chopsticks by the late famous Beanie the piano playing chicken on You Tube. (I even went so far as to look up the price for one of those Schoenhut toy pianos - $89.95 if anyone else wants to have a piano playing chicken too)

 

[aoxa]

"Penny - do you like daddy's Forever Lazy?"

"Scramble some eggs for the chicks - don't let it get cold. They like it luke warm"

"George - stop mating the ground! You need to get on top of Honey to make chicks!"

*in shoppers drug mart*
"Wendy would have loved this shade of pink nail polish"

 

[Ilovemyduckies]

My cat had just gotten new kittens and rejected them so i was taking care of them. I had to go to my violin lesson and my sister said. "She's just worried about leaving them because she is a first time mother." My mom: "She's not a first time mother, shes had baby chicks before."

 

[Oceanic109]

"Hey, I'm going to go feed your grandchildren before i go to school."

What i usually say to my mom in the mornings when im getting ready for school haha!