Things you wish you could say

[NorthwoodsChick]

Need to vent after work week from Hell

Context: med office, cardiology. My week of being on call for hosp/ED/overflow in addition to full office .
Person demands immediate office appointment due to complaint of chest pain. Refused ED due to too many 'sick ppl'
Tells nurse couldn't get in to see regular doc for 2 months, is constipated but had chest pain after weight lifting 2 weeks ago. Person looks physically PERFECT
The convo:
Response to a clear yes-no question of 'are you having chest pain now?'
"Well, see, starting about two or three years ago I had a appendicitis... (seriously??).
At that moment ED pager goes off.. again

Wish I could say: Stop!! You saw the big red heart logo on the door, not a poop emoji, right??? .There are only two ways to respond to my direct question..DO YOU HAVE CP RIGHT NOW...yes? No? Which is it? Please say no so I can send you to GI with nurse orders "enemas until clear".

What I actually do/say: I see. Thank you for sharing that. Your cardiac testing looks normal.
Eat more fiber. Follow up with your primary care provider.

Patient: aren't you going to treat my constipation?

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I love asking what medications someone is taking and get a 10 min discussion on what her sister in law is taking.

 

[Sally PB]

I have to admit, I can be one of the people who starts giving her life story. I had someone stop me in my tracks by saying something like, "Well, you can put that boring little tidbit in your autobiography. But what I need to know is, XYZ."

That taught me to make an effort to answer what is asked, and not blather on.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

It's ashame because we need to know everything, just more precise than some people give.
When I worked in the Pain Clinic, 99% of what we did was x-ray guided steroid shots to the spine. We had 15 minutes to take full history, start an IV and give sedation.
After the procedure, 15 minutes to wake you up, get you dressed and headed toward the parking lot. " No time for lengthy speeches". Problem was I liked to talk as much as my patients. .

 

[R2elk]

It's ashame because we need to know everything, just more precise than some people give.
When I worked in the Pain Clinic, 99% of what we did was x-ray guided steroid shots to the spine. We had 15 minutes to take full history, start an IV and give sedation.
After the procedure, 15 minutes to wake you up, get you dressed and headed toward the parking lot. " No time for lengthy speeches". Problem was I liked to talk as much as my patients. .

With some people it has to be dragged out of them one question at a time and the question has to be phrased perfectly to avoid ambiguous answers.

 

[Nabiki]

With some people it has to be dragged out of them one question at a time and the question has to be phrased perfectly to avoid ambiguous answers.

Welcome to the world of troubleshooting.

 

[R2elk]

Welcome to the world of troubleshooting.

It was the gizmo by the thingamagig. I didn't touch anything. It did it by itself.

 

[aart]

I can see, that you can't see........that you don't know WTF you are talking about.

 

[Sally PB]

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you. (T-shirt in a catalog)

I sooo wanted to buy and wear that shirt to work...

 

[Brooks_]

Welcome to the world of troubleshooting.

I did the troubleshooting...It's broke.