Things you wish you could say

[BigBlueHen53]

Tax for going off topic?! Love the picture but I pay enough taxes

I just wanted an excuse to show off our Aussie, Ryder, sharing worms with the chickens!

 

[CarpCharacin]

I feel terrible about life. It seems like most people even several years younger than me actually have lives, or at least aren't unimaginably far from having them, and don't have this many physical problems either. I cannot imagine being able to do what they can or have what they have, and I cannot help but find myself feeling negatively towards others because they get to actually, meaningfully live. It feels worse the older I get. And those who have found me odious would probably be happy about things sucking for me.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

I feel terrible about life. It seems like most people even several years younger than me actually have lives, or at least aren't unimaginably far from having them, and don't have this many physical problems either. I cannot imagine being able to do what they can or have what they have, and I cannot help but find myself feeling negatively towards others because they get to actually, meaningfully live. It feels worse the older I get. And those who have found me odious would probably be happy about things sucking for me.

I think many young people feel exactly as you do. My granddaughter is 24, lives with my DH and me, and has no prospect of moving on at this time. She gets a disability check, which is about what I once would have called "cigarette and coffee money." She also suffers from a multitude of physical and emotional ailments. I'm sure she probably feels like when "lives" were passed out, she was in the wrong lane and didn't get one. She was 23 when she graduated hs, but graduate she did. She had a lot of setbacks, physical as well as emotional, and learning does not come easily to her. But. She is not a quitter. And Carp, I don't know you but I'm going to bet you're not a quitter either. So focus on whatever it is you need to do next, and do that. Then do the next thing, then the next and the next. And that is what life is.

 

[notabitail]

I use all those settings. My new washer has settings you can even download from their website to use. Now those ones I would never use

The last thing I want in regards to cleaning my clothes on this planet is an internet-connected washing machine.

 

[nuthatched]

Wish I could say: Why do you come here looking for answers and then argue with the best advice our most knowledgeable and experienced Educators or breeders or geneticists offer you so generously? Your mind is already made up, go do what you think is best and good luck with that.

Sometimes, when I see some dumb thread like "How can i keep peacocks in a college dorm?", I just want to tag everyone. 'Come brethren, come heckle this fool softly.'

I feel terrible about life. It seems like most people even several years younger than me actually have lives, or at least aren't unimaginably far from having them, and don't have this many physical problems either. I cannot imagine being able to do what they can or have what they have, and I cannot help but find myself feeling negatively towards others because they get to actually, meaningfully live. It feels worse the older I get. And those who have found me odious would probably be happy about things sucking for me.

Look, this is swiftly becoming a concerning trend, I would highly recommend you get you get counseling.

https://www.verywellmind.com/best-mental-health-apps-4692902

Your feelings are understandable but invalid.
Feelings are based on someones perception, not necessarily reality. They are rarely correct and they are very easily manipulated. It's OK to feel discouraged, but it's not ok to live there.
You are being hard on yourself for no reason at all.
There's no reason to keep beating yourself up for not being on a 'life schedule' that doesn't actually exist.
I know exactly what you're going through, it wasn't fun, I was discouraged, bitter and felt left behind and trapped.
All my younger friends had careers, books being published, marriage and kids while I had a mediocre retail job, never been so much as asked out, never done anything of "value" and chickens.
I couldn't (and still can't) afford to move out of the house I grew up in, so by the Accepted Adult Life Schedule, I was complete failure on every part.
Two years of anger, moping and general unhappiness try to desperately to 'catch up' just left me wrung out and bitter.

Eventually I realized that there's nothing that's going to happen if I 'start later' except for the awful reality of 'starting later'....in the imaginary competition....that doesn't actually have consequences....that I willing placed on myself.
Now, all I regret is the time I spent miserably fighting with my preconceived notion about how life° works.

Nobody's life is always going to go the way they always planned it and if it is for someone, they're likely boring and have already peaked in highschool.

You say you're 22 and people younger than you have their life together? No, they don't. They might be putting on a good show but in reality, they're just now learning how to be a real person and actually live after years of being gaslit and pressure molded by peer groups and educational systems.
They probably can't even work a printer.

You are not failing, or stuck or losing.
Life is not a test, or a maze, or a competition .

Your feelings are only reacting based on what you put in them, they only indicate perception, not reality.

 

[CarpCharacin]

Look, this is swiftly becoming a concerning trend, I would highly recommend you get you get counseling.

I have tried it multiple times and really tried to find it helpful, but ultimately haven't, even though I've seen at least 9 different therapists over a pretty long time.

There's no reason to keep beating yourself up for not being on a 'life schedule' that doesn't actually exist.

I feel like it's somewhat more complicated than that, but somewhat similar I guess. Civilization as it is now certainly does not seem designed in the best interests of humans, and frameworks like the "typical" life plan (go to school for however many years, then maintain a full-time, long-term job) seem to be emergent from the pursuit of optimization/efficiency as humanity's principal goal. I think the sort of "goal ratchet" effect that humanity exhibits may be a fundamental flaw/evil of human+ level intelligence. As I've gotten older, I feel like I've given up more on the idea of adapting into any sort of normal career path. I cannot see myself ever realistically functioning well enough to maintain a full-time job, for example, and if I somehow could, I feel like it'd make it impossible for me to have decent quality of life. But I still feel deeply hurt and bitter over totally missing out on meaningful experiences that I wish I could have, especially while getting older and deteriorating physically in at least some ways. Doing interesting/fulfilling work or having a relationship seems totally unrealistic and unimaginable now, or even maintaining a daily life that doesn't feel bad. I definitely wish I could be a different person, but I cannot.

 

[BoundlessLove]

@CarpCharacin
My daughter is a little older than yourself and is having some similar thoughts.
She changed jobs last year, but is unhappy at her new job. She was unhappy at the job she had before changing.
She wants to move from where she lives, but she feels stuck.
She feels like time is passing her by, as her friends are moving on with life. Again, she feels stuck.
She needs a purpose in life.
Can I recommend “The Purpose Driven Life.”

 

[MROO]

I have a cousin I'm ready to actually tell to,
"Get your head out of your (... posterior ...) and clean your glasses!"

 

[Nabiki]

That looks like Horikita Maki. I think it is her.

 

[MROO]

I have tried it multiple times and really tried to find it helpful, but ultimately haven't, even though I've seen at least 9 different therapists over a pretty long time.

I feel like it's somewhat more complicated than that, but somewhat similar I guess. Civilization as it is now certainly does not seem designed in the best interests of humans, and frameworks like the "typical" life plan (go to school for however many years, then maintain a full-time, long-term job) seem to be emergent from the pursuit of optimization/efficiency as humanity's principal goal. I think the sort of "goal ratchet" effect that humanity exhibits may be a fundamental flaw/evil of human+ level intelligence. As I've gotten older, I feel like I've given up more on the idea of adapting into any sort of normal career path. I cannot see myself ever realistically functioning well enough to maintain a full-time job, for example, and if I somehow could, I feel like it'd make it impossible for me to have decent quality of life. But I still feel deeply hurt and bitter over totally missing out on meaningful experiences that I wish I could have, especially while getting older and deteriorating physically in at least some ways. Doing interesting/fulfilling work or having a relationship seems totally unrealistic and unimaginable now, or even maintaining a daily life that doesn't feel bad. I definitely wish I could be a different person, but I cannot.

This is a deep, meaningful concept that deserves its' own thread - mainly because many will truly benefit from the conversation, but also to keep it from constantly derailing the light-hearted "venting" spirit of this one. As has been said earlier, this was never meant to be a chat thread.