Unwelcome "houseguests" invited themselves to sleep over and camp!

[Sillystunt]

Quote:
I work in law enforcement and my mind tends to run toward the suspicious, but.....

...this sounds a little fishy to me. The dad was drinking and wanted the boys to sleep in the living room with him.....?

Be very careful.

I'm thinking the same darn thing!

 

[joebryant]

Well, one good thing happened, the other wife had a relaxing day/night.
"Back of every cloud there's a silver lining."

 

[Katy]

Quote:
Probably her plan all along!

 

[citrusdreams]

Oh no way. I must be the party-pooper of the year. I would have been very uncomfortable with all that. I would have stopped them from bringing the camping gear in right then, and would have asked them to please go home instead of staying overnight. The whole thing sounds weird: the mom asks if they can both "visit for the day" and then they walk in with camping gear to spend the night? Drinking all day so that they have to stay (in the presence of children. I mean, this wasn't a 'boys night out' thing). All very strange.

I would have also put out that fire asap if there was a burn ban.

And my goodness, they're still there? I'd definitely make him understand that you have family-only plans and send them on their way. And since I'm the party-pooper of the year, I would have just told him straight up that I needed the quiet time for regrouping after all events of the past few hours. Period. Then I'd try to divert my son's attention from this family, and try to direct him to other friends because this is a thing that's going to happen again...and again...and it's weird.

As for them returning the favor. I would under no circumstances allow my children over at their home. The good thing about this situation is that at least you were right there to supervise your son.

 

[cassie]

You could just happen to run out of food

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

There was some VERY serious miscommunication.

I gather that you agreed to a day-time fathers & sons fishing trip (at your house?) But at least the visiting Dad decided to drink the day away until he was too plastered to drive home.

Camping gear belongs OUTSIDE, not inside. Taxi-cabs are available for transportation of someone who cannot drive themselves for whatever reason; you can also c all teh mom and say, "Martha dear, I am so sad to say that Lester has managed to drink so much that he cannot drive safely. Can you please come get him?" Or for that matter, you could load him and his son up into your car and between you and DH one driving their car and one your deliver them home.

I'm going to be gfenerous and suppose that the camping and fishing gear were stored together and that is why they had the camping gear in the first place. It is not someone else's place to insist upon things in your home. Your home, you get to call the shots. If you and DH disagree, you need to excuse yourselves for a walk to discuss a compromise agreeable to you both.

As soon as they started building the fire, you or DH needed to say "Sorry, we have a burn ban, no fires." This is not negotiable--you would be the ones facing hte fine, not to mention that there is a reason for burn bans.

Make sure you let DD know how much of an imposition the uninvited guests were. I cannot tell whether you feel that SIL and his cousins were or were not welcome, but certainly knowing htta they were coming ahead of time would have helped tremendously, expecially if they had shown up bringing the whole cookout menu. Also use this as a teaching point for DS. He is not too young to learn that people's behavior impacts those around them.

Next time set clear limits on timing, including statements like--"I'm sorry, we already have plans." Those plans might just be to never ever again entertain that family.

If they are still there, drive them home now, or get the Mom on the phone to come pick them up ASAP. If htere is resistance, mention that you already have plans (see above paragraph), and cannot continue the campout as they conflict.

Be sure to tell DH that he ownes you BIG TIME for allowing the situation to get out of hand.

 

[cafarmgirl]

Wow that's a play date gone wrong huh?! I would have woke up the dad at first light and made it clear in no uncertain terms that this play date was OVER! Actually at my house he wouldn't have been there overnight regardless but you've got him there, now you need to boot his inconsiderate butt outta there! It's your house, you don't need any reason or explanation other then "It's time for you to go home"! Hangover or not! He had no business getting drunk in the first place if this was kid oriented occasion.

 

[twentynine]

Should never been allowed to go that far. The child and father should have been sent packing when the child's illness was revealed. No way would I have exposed my kids and all the other guest in my home. I would not in the least be afraid or ashamed to say what needs to be said.

 

[English Chick]

Take a deep breath bid them farewell and never let them back in again...... speak to your boy in a quiet moment and just explain that you where not happy having them over and that they must not be told of any future fishing trips that they can invite themselves on. If the mother of the child ever rings you again to ask such a "favour" (and I use the term loosely)... be strong and tell her emphatically it is not convenient now or in the future, nor was it convenient this time............. find it rather bizarre that she has asked, and wonder if she had a ulterior motive in offloading the pair of them on you........... ?

 

[maf2008]

UPDATE Unwelcome "houseguests" invited themselves to sleep over and camp - THEY ARE GONE!!!!! YEAH!

Well, This WONT happen again. My husband and I had a t-a-l-k and he understands very clearly that this family is a bunch of bullies and pushy! and RUDE house guests. They do not bring food, or offer to pay for eats! they have been our house guests 3 times and nothing!!!!!

The father and son were to arrive at 10:00 am for a "play day" and called to say would be late..... then showed up at 3 pm with camping gear and decided to spend the night instead! (my son in low brought the fishing gear for a planned fishing trip)

The mother called me and said "can they have a fun pretend camping trip?" and said she understood that they will not be spending the night. I MADE IT CLEAR IN 2 PHONE CALLS THAT THEY CANNOT SLEEP OVER. The mother asked me if they could visit and then they just showed up and stayed anyway!

The kid is a brat! he opened a window on the 2nd floor and it got stuck...., smashed my grandaughters fingers in the door, leaves all the doors open in a huge heat wave, opens the refrigerator door
AT WILL and demands something to eat and drink..... (the dad never corrects him even after I repeated to stop the behaviour....

My DH was told when they got in the car "no sleep overs, I spoke with the mother and she is really pushing the issue... but I said OK to setting the tent up for fun...."

My dear husband said... well, I did let him sleep over because it just seemed right anyway, he had too much to drink....(The man showed up at my gate drunk ) and said "I beg you to sleep over.. It means so much to my kid.....sob/snif..."

Husbands listen to your wives. This is what makes us so mad!

Well this diaster is over and done with....

My husband has learned his lesson. (at least this time...)

This family thinks if there is some kind if financial crisis they will "pack it up" and move in with us to the country!! I don't think so!

The next morning I woke my husband up early and told him he is fixing breakfast (I made him do the dishes too) and made a huge country breakfast at 8 am and told them we were leaving soon enjoy to breakfast before they had to go.....Neither of them said "thank you" OOOOHHHHHH HOW RUDE - This family will not be welcome in my home again! Just a "lets meet in the park" kind of thing. But not my home ever again!

Thank you for listening to my rant.... I hope this never happens to you....