Was I wrong??? *rant* VERY LONG!!!

[redhen]

you did your best to try to help her...she may see it as "going behind her back".., but, you did what you thought needed to be done for her...IMO..my MAIN concern would be that she has water and heat..and you tried to do that for her!...

..its now up to her to accept the gift they are trying to give her......also..i'd maybe try to remind her what belonging to a church is all about...*helping others in need*(meaning her, at this point in her life)...AND i would also remind her of all the donations SHE has given the church...*the collection basket...or whatever*...remind her that she has helped people in her church also, and now its HER turn to recieve the help others give.....maybe that will help her accept some help....best wishes, Wendy

 

[cjeanean]

I want her to get on food stamps and to sign up for electric and gas help! I don't know, maybe I was acting out of anger....she upset me by seeming to think that we're made out of money. I don't want to be used, but at the same time I want to help and do what God would want me to do....thanks for the encouragement, guys!!!

The gas company shut her service off before Nov 1st, which is the legal deadline. Gas company out here can't shut it off after Nov 1 or before march 31st. I don't know anything about the water dept, but apparently they were gonna shut it off. I don't know what to do with this woman, I care about her A LOT and feel really bad about her kids not helping, but their excuses are because of the fact that she won't swallow her pride as well. On top of that, though, they hate her hypocritical way of religion, which I also understand. She believes, which is good, but sin is excusable for her children and grandchildren in areas where it wouldn't be for a complete stranger in her eyes. Yes, I know the truth, but it's still very frustrating and she won't listen for ANYTHING.

Aside from the utilities, I think all of her kids could afford to drop their beer for a week and give her $20/month. How hard is that??? $20 bucks from my family and her three daughters would end up being $80/month, which would help a lot!!! I know she needs to go places to get help, and she won't.....

 

[AngieChick]

I agree with Rufus.

Sometimes charity should go to people we don't agree with or even like, just because they are human and in need. Not liking their mother's ways is one thing, allowing her to live without utilities and food is quite another. My grandmother is mean as can be, but her children have never not helped her when she was in need. And believe me, they would have every reason to let her pleas fall on deaf ears from her previous behaviors. But to do so would just be wrong.

As to her response to the Church's assistance, it seems that she may be rather prone to judging those in need herself, and expects others to have the same attitude. You did the right thing. I agree that she needs to swallow her pride and ask for help, but it must be very hard to do when you are elderly and used to being independent. She needs to be on public assistance, I know that it won't be enough, but it will help. Remind her of what she has paid into the system to help others in dire straights, and that she should feel no shame in utilizing what meager social safety nets we provide. That's what they are there for.

Kudos to you for your patience and charity towards one who seems to be a very difficult woman.

 

[Chicken Boo]

You did the right thing. Keep doing the right thing. The poor woman has problems and you are being more than kind to her, as we are supposed to be to each other. You are also obligated to protect yourself and your family. Getting her help from other sources while making sure that you are keeping your family fed is exactly what you are supposed to be doing.

Good on you!

Hugs.

 

[cjeanean]

Quote:
I think u hit the nail on the head!!! I'd forgotten about the argument she got into with my mom, and after the fight she called her daughter and left a message saying that we are nothings that can't even work and we have to make our living on state assistance (My mom's disabled and has 3 kids). That SO TOTALLY makes sense, I didn't even think of that!!!!!! Wow, that makes me feel a lot better, and I understand a little more what's going thru her head!!!!

 

[Mahonri]

Quote:
What Rufus said.

 

[rubyv67]

I woke up from the neighbors dog and saw this. I have a similar problem with MIL. About the GasCo, call the public utilities commission on them. What they did was immoral, knowing she's elderly. I'm a christian too, and I've struggled terribly with my husbands family. It's hard standing in prayer for someone who behaves that way towards us. I will pray for you and please pray for my situation. Maybe that will help us both. God bless you,sweetie. It'll all work out.

 

[Oblio13]

You guys are making me appreciate my relatives.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Quote:
Exactly what I would have said. I'm sorry you're having to deal ewith this, especially around the holidays.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Quote:
Hey, a person's age makes no difference. If you don't pay your bills, the company has to shut off the gas. I'm sure she got some leeway while they assessed late fees before finally shutting it off.

It's sad, yes, when this happens to anyone -- especially the elderly -- but I can appreciate both points of view. Gas companies are companies; their goal is to make money, not provide charity. That is where the church came into this situation.