Also honestly I don’t really get you guys because everyone always says I need to get off my phone or try to find a job or do this or that but then I finally do and am finally trying for the first time in forever and it’s never enough because I should be doing more. Doesn’t count because I should already be doing it. No point in a job contest or in searching because I am going to lose/never actually going to get one, etc... tbh it makes me not even want to bother trying sometimes because it’s not going to be good enough anyway. I know none of you mean it that way or whatever but it’s just a bit discouraging nonetheless. But regardless, I AM still trying and doing stuff and I’m not going to stop because of it or whatever. I’m doing better than I have in a long time.