Welcome to my pond - Swim, wade, or sit on the bank

[bobbi-j]

I agree.... but does your hubs? Or does he not see it? (Hard when it is your parents)

We have a little lady at our church - 93 - who has dementia. She lives alone on her farm. Her closest child lives 3 hours away, the other one over 900 miles. People from our church pick her up every Sunday and bring her to church. Last winter, she didn’t have a ride, so the closest offspring told her to drive, but “go the long way because the gravel you usually take hasn’t been plowed.” She got lost. She eventually found her way and wasn’t too late, but we all worried until she got there. So, my friend and her husband decided to follow her home to make sure she made it. Not only did she forget and took the unplowed gravel, she launched herself over a snowbank (think Dukes of Hazard type launch) that my friend’s husband didn’t dare try to drive through. They went around the section and when they got to her house, asked if she was OK. (My friend was very shook up.) Our sweet little lady calmly said, “Why, yes. Are you OK?” She had no idea why they were concerned! So they called her offspring, who answered the phone laughing and said, “What did mom do now?” Said offspring was out this summer and had Mom take the car out for a drive. Then proceeded to post on FB how, “It’s best if she doesn’t drive, but did OK. She could in an emergency.” NO! She couldn’t! Or shouldn’t! They visited her a few weeks ago. Got there on Saturday, and Sunday morning Mom said, “Oh!! When did you get here? You must’ve had to leave very early to get here in time to go to church

DH is the only one who cares & is worried. The rest of the family is very, you can’t change it, let it go, blah blah blah... How can they not worry? It’s their mother riding in the car with him.

Denial. They’re all in denial and it’s easy to do when you don’t live close enough or aren’t involved enough to see what’s happening.

 

[pennyJo1960]

Okay agree there has to be limits but most will have to come from families
The adult Son is 38 he has his limits but is a very skilled driver .. he intend to spend his years taking care of us as we cannot gotta love that kid

 

[Alaskan]

We have a little lady at our church - 93 - who has dementia. She lives alone on her farm. Her closest child lives 3 hours away, the other one over 900 miles. People from our church pick her up every Sunday and bring her to church. Last winter, she didn’t have a ride, so the closest offspring told her to drive, but “go the long way because the gravel you usually take hasn’t been plowed.” She got lost. She eventually found her way and wasn’t too late, but we all worried until she got there. So, my friend and her husband decided to follow her home to make sure she made it. Not only did she forget and took the unplowed gravel, she launched herself over a snowbank (think Dukes of Hazard type launch) that my friend’s husband didn’t dare try to drive through. They went around the section and when they got to her house, asked if she was OK. (My friend was very shook up.) Our sweet little lady calmly said, “Why, yes. Are you OK?” She had no idea why they were concerned! So they called her offspring, who answered the phone laughing and said, “What did mom do now?” Said offspring was out this summer and had Mom take the car out for a drive. Then proceeded to post on FB how, “It’s best if she doesn’t drive, but did OK. She could in an emergency.” NO! She couldn’t! Or shouldn’t! They visited her a few weeks ago. Got there on Saturday, and Sunday morning Mom said, “Oh!! When did you get here? You must’ve had to leave very early to get here in time to go to church

Denial. They’re all in denial and it’s easy to do when you don’t live close enough or aren’t involved enough to see what’s happening.

what a hair raising story!!!

 

[bobbi-j]

what a hair raising story!!!

I know! We're all concerned about her.

 

[bobbi-j]

We were fortunate with my grandma. She quit driving when she was 95. 9She should have quit long before then.) She had her car in the shop one day, and took the city bus to the Senior center. She got sick and passed out on the bus. She got to thinking, "What if I had been driving?" When she picked her car up from the shop a week or so later, they told her that it was acting like the transmission was acting up. She drove it mayve once or twice after she got it home. When we were visiting her, she said to DH, "I don't think I should drive my car anymore. It kind of shook the last time I drove it." DH whipped out his billfold and gave her scrap price for it on the spot. He took it home, and put maybe 50 miles on it before the transmission went out. He hauled it in and got his money back from the scrap dealer.

 

[room onthebroom]

Denial is right. It’s not a matter of distance for them. It’s a matter of “I’m selfish & I can’t be bothered.” It makes me madder than hell

Crazy story about the church lady!

Do you guys remember a couple years ago when my mothers spontaneously jumped in their car & decided to do a major road trip? It took them 10days, 2 ER trips, 1 broken foot & multiple damages to the car to finally make it to San Diego from OR. When they got here they were a mess. Broken, frustrated & mad at each other, they sat at my dinner table & confessed that there was no way they could make it home. 2days later I was suddenly on a spontaneous road trip driving them the 2 days home. My eyes were bloody by the time we got there from the stress. I got them home, had a quick dinner with my sister, then jumped on a train to the airport. My aunt still drives locally (they’re 85) but my mother doesn’t & now they fly anywhere they want to go. It was tough for them to know their road trippin days were over.

 

[room onthebroom]

My quotes are are acting up & disappearing.

 

[room onthebroom]

On a lighter note, my great grandma was a wild card. Model, silent film actress, make up artist, extremely... um... flamboyant, plus the worlds worst driver. When she finally hit a few parked cars and claimed it was their fault the dmv took her license. She went as fast as she could to the next town over, renewed her license at that dmv then drove back to the first one to literally wave it in their faces. Good Lord, I loved that woman, but as kids we were never allowed in the car with her & we gave her a wide berth as she’d drive her giant caddy down the driveway.

 

[Alaskan]

On a lighter note, my great grandma was a wild card. Model, silent film actress, make up artist, extremely... um... flamboyant, plus the worlds worst driver. When she finally hit a few parked cars and claimed it was their fault the dmv took her license. She went as fast as she could to the next town over, renewed her license at that dmv then drove back to the first one to literally wave it in their faces. Good Lord, I loved that woman, but as kids we were never allowed in the car with her & we gave her a wide berth as she’d drive her giant caddy down the driveway.

Great laugh!

 

[sourland]

Good morning, Pond. Mom drove until she was 95. At that point she said, "I think it's time for me to move to an assisted care facility." There was one we/she knew of within 5 miles of her home - my cousin and her husband spent their last days there. She made it easy on us. Hopefully the Princess and I can do the same for our kids.